a young girl before I ever left him. What can I do now to get proof of that, that would be acceptable in court, as it is too late for pictures. I think it will help me tremendously in my divorce. Any ideas please?
2007-08-13 08:41:17 · 13 answers · asked by Ann Marie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in Virginia...I left because he is an alcoholic and was mean to me. There is money involved and he says he will make sure I get nothing. I just now found out about the girl who is 30 years younger than he is. Thanks
2007-08-13 09:00:10 · update #1
Unless the young girl is UNDERAGE, it doesn't mean much now. I'm sorry, I know thats not what you wanted to hear.
Good Luck!
2007-08-13 08:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by nremtohio 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no earthly reason why you would need that information except to be hurtful. If you are in a “community property” state, there is no need to have any reason except “irreconcilable differences” for your divorce. The less that is spent on lawyers, the more you will get in the settlement. Regardless of what your lawyer says, there is a simple court proven formula for divorce, you retain your personal property and gifts and all other assets are split 50 / 50. Reasons for the divorce are not considered (except for criminal acts).
If there are children involved it is best not to have either party of the divorce irate with the other party. You are stuck in each other’s worlds until the last child turns at least 18 years old.
If you are listening to your lawyer and he/she is pushing you to this tactic, the ONLY one getting anything out of this is the lawyer. All you will do is get yourself worked up, your soon to be ex-husband worked up and give your lawyer many opportunities to run up his bill with his letter campaign, unless of course, your ex will have to pay for the fees and that’s your intention.
A woman scorned . . . . . . . . is an irrational thing to watch.
Get over it and get on with your new life.
2007-08-13 15:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by whiner_cooler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to prove if he will not admit to it now, but there is a very effective tool that people use all the time now and get themselves into trouble with.
Send him an email, a simple email like the following...
Dear XXXX, I know the divorce is going to happen and that is not going to change. Just for my peace of mind and so that I can have some closure can you be man enough to honestly answer the following questions for me?
Did you ever has sex with XXXX in our home? In our bed?
How long were you seeing her before I left?
Did any of our friends or family know about it before I did?
Chances are, he will just answer it and then you have his words telling you he did it. If you send a reply, be sure to keep the text in the email and just say something like. "Thank you for your honesty." He will probably reply again and then you will have the string. Granted, emails can be forged and may not stand up in court, but a good lawyer can use that to get him to slip up.
2007-08-13 15:57:32 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are we talking underage? If not I don't see how proving something that happened before you met him could help anything. In fact a judge could wind up using it against you. Attempting to run your husband through the mud, with events that occured before you met, that he must have told you about, would possibly just make some people wonder how he stayed married to someone like that however long he did. Stick to the facts of your marriage, that is the issue.
2007-08-13 16:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of states are no fault states. And adultery only helps when there is large sums of $$ involved. Otherwise the courts just divide 50/50 marital assets.
2007-08-13 15:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending what state you live in it really does not matter. Even if you got the proof it would not mean that you would come out better. Most all states pretty much have a system that divides theproperty.
2007-08-13 15:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by blueblossom33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Email, phone records, Logs for Instant message.
Just may be going up the wrong tree, some states have no fault, means they don't care, and it doesn't matter.
2007-08-13 15:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by David G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why look to dig? Just get out and get on.
Seriously, I get tired of these "damaged" divorcees that can't let go without "hitting them where it hurts"
Honestly, the best thing you can do is leave and not go back...period.
What are you looking to gain?
2007-08-13 15:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it's a little to late for that! Perhaps if you spent more time trying to please him and less time coming up with plots to steal his money, he never would have needed the services of a "young girl" in the first place!
2007-08-13 15:46:13 · answer #9 · answered by the real casual poster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him that you want him to write you a letter explaining why he did what he did and that he owes you an appology. make it sound believable though. tell him that you want him to think long and hard before writing you. it may or may not work, but it's the only thing i can think of at this point.
2007-08-13 15:45:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋