I have been dating a beautiful lady for 3 months and we plan on marrying very soon. We both have been married more then once, she is 45, I am 50. At times I wonder if she truly loves me as I often have to initiate "I Iove you's or intimacy such as kissing. Is there a way of telling if a women truly loves a man? What are good indicators?
2007-08-13 08:23:17 · 9 answers · asked by jerry b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As a 50-year-old with marriage experience, I would think you'd know better than to get married after only a little over 3 months of dating. Perhaps you learned no lessons from the failures of your previous marriages. It makes no sense to marry a woman you are not sure loves you. Please ask for your engagement ring back.
2007-08-13 08:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As someone who has been married more than once, I would argue that only time will tell if a woman really loves a man. There is no secret act or way of behaving that can differentiate need, lust and love. But a well behaved relationship in which both are more concerned about the interests of the other than about their own interests (in part because their partner is not focusing on self interest) is a good indicator. If you have to ask the question, then either she doesn't (yet) love you or your communication methods are sufficiently different that you will always question such issues. If you don't know then take your time and wait till you feel it in your heart and soul. In the mean time perhaps you should be asking yourself whether you really "love" her or just appreciate the potential for a trophy wife.
2007-08-13 15:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by Orv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to initiate all the intimacy including i love you, GET OUT now! She is either with you for money, place to live and be taken care of, or she is emotionally intact as a worm. My ex was like that and it was 15 years of a loveless marriage. He didn't even show our kids love. Don't make a mistake and be with her just to not be alone. Find someone who is more emotionally compatiable for you. I did and i have never been happier. To this day, i kick myself for wasting 15 years of my life.
2007-08-13 15:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop initiating things and see how long it goes before she says something to you, mentions it, or starts to initiate it. If it never happens, then get the hell out. She's with you for something other than you.
Others will tell you, maybe she's just that way or some of that other BS but don't believe it. If she's not petting you freely than you're just a dog she's keeping around.
2007-08-13 15:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by MetalHeart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should date her for a long, long time, before you decide to marry her. Because when you first meet someone, you are only meeting their Representative. It takes some time for the real person to show up. Ask a lot of questions, listen to her. Don't rush into it. You may have rushed into your first marriage and it ended, so take your time on this one.
2007-08-13 15:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT marry her until you are absolutely positive!
3 months is NOT enough time to get to know anyone--put the wedding back until you are both sure it's the right thing for BOTH of you.
You must have heard the old saying "marry in haste, repent at leisure"---it is sooo true!
2007-08-13 15:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why rush into marriage? doesn't sound like kids are on the agenda for either of you, so enjoy the ride and feel things out first. As my brother told me, "don't become a statistic." It's always a Vegas draw, isn't it?
2007-08-13 17:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have only been together for 3 months, both have a previous failed marriage, and you're not really sure that she loves you. do you really think it's a smart move to get married again so soon?
2007-08-13 15:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
wow, I can only say is don't marry her if your not sure she loves you. Why don't you discuss this with her-I think that is your best bet.
2007-08-13 15:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by joni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋