My boyfriend and I have been togheter for 2 years and I'm happy to be with him. I'm now 7 1/2 weeks preg. And he is really excited witch made me happy too. I'm 20 years old, and I always wanted to wait until being married to have kids, but his excitment got to me and well I just started to like the idea we will be a family. We also have been very close lately, we have even started to buy stuff for the apartment we were planning on living togheter!
But, last night I caught him chatting on the phone, on chatlines. (you know the ones they annoucce on tv ads like Lavaline, ect.) While I was asleep. Now, this is not the first time that happends, even though he denies EVER chatting he has done this before. I'm REALLY hurt!
Now the hard question is, Should I keep my baby? I had thought about it several times before and I always said that if I become preg. before I get married I would abort. Specially if I dont' have a partner. Or, Should I forgive him one more time??
2007-08-13 07:59:06 · 50 answers · asked by Pinky! 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you are basing your child's fate on your happines in your relationship, then you are not mature enough to be a mother.
2007-08-13 08:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by s7e28w81 5 · 23⤊ 2⤋
First of all, if your partner is cheating, he doesn't deserve you. Even if it was only once, he is taking advantage of you. You obviously love him very much to keep forgiving him, but you have to ask yourself if he is really worth it. He does not seem very devoted to you or the baby. At what point will you draw the line and stop seeing him? And if that point comes, are you prepared to raise a child on your own? How do you feel toward your unborn child? It sounds like you are not really attached to it yet, because you are considering an abortion. Raising a child, while very rewarding, is also very very difficult. Especially on your own. You are only 20 years old. What are your life's ambitions? Having a baby means putting your entire life on hold to care for another human being. This could be wonderful, you will get to raise and nurture a child that is your own and that you created! Are you financially ready for a child? You will have to pay for everything for the next 18 years. Think about the cost of food, clothing, doctor visits, diapers, ect. If you really do think that you are ready for a child, then keep your baby. However, realize that you may be raising this child on your own.
Good luck!!
2007-08-13 08:25:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, if you get an abortion you'll regret it for the rest of your life but if you take this opprotunity to leave him and start a brand new life over with this baby you'll know you made the right decision. There are so many differetn ways young, single mothers can get help with raising a baby. Housing assistance, health care provided to you and the baby or just the baby, help with food (it's called WIC), etc...So I would go go right now look at him in the eyes and say it's over and pack all of your things up and move in with your mother, sister, or friend until you find assistance to live on your own. Don't kill the baby because you both couldn't use a condom.
2007-08-13 08:09:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you base your decision to have an abortion on the fact that you're having problems in your relationship? Only you can decide whether you forgive him and stay...only you can decide whether to have an abortion.
Now, if you weren't prepared to be a mother, or a single mother, then you should have abstained from having sex. Even when you're married there is no guarantee that marriage will withstand the same problems. Just because you will possibly be single is no reason to have an abortion.
2007-08-13 08:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he lies that is one thing, but for him to have sexual needs that he needs to fill thats another. Tell him your ok with it, that you dont like it but you also dont want him to lie to you. Fair warn him on how close the curb really is.But as far as a baby goes, This child did not say, hey mom im ready to be a baby, no you did. It also did not say, my dads a perve get rid of me... You see girl, this child deserves a chance in life. You may be scared now but think of yourself in 2 years then 5 years then 18. You may not know now, but when that little one is born, you will wonder how you ever would have gone a day without he/she. Being a mom is a wonderful thing. Good Luck. Hope you make the right decison.
One more thing, if you dont like what your bf does then you can leave him, but remember we all have needs some are diff then others, men having weird ones. I have come to like my husbands needs. And now he knows mine.
2007-08-13 08:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll be honest, I am pro-life, but even if I weren't? Women who are seriously considering abortion do not refer to a "baby." Abortion is NOT right for you. You need to talk to a counselor, not just random people on YA. 1-800-395-HELP is a great place to start, free and confidential, and then they can refer you to local assistance.
I think the decision you make about your boyfriend needs to be independent from the baby. If you weren't pregnant, would you even be considering staying with him? Think things over, and in the meantime don't move into the new apartment with him, that will just make it messy.
You can email me any time. Good luck!
<3 Kelsey
2007-08-13 08:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kelsey H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun, I can certainly understand your being upset with the dad. But you can't just want to abort this baby because you are not sure if it will work out between you two. It would be like the mom of a 3 year old, deciding to kill her child because her and her husband are going to get a divorce. It is not this child's fault. I say, talk to your boyfriend about, in a mature fashion and have a serious heart to heart about your relationship especially since it will be changing dramatically once baby arrives.
Best of luck, and please keep the baby!
2007-08-13 08:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by Kyler's Mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because he's a sneaking cheat doesn't mean you should kill your child. Keep the baby, dump the loser. You can do it on your own if you have to or give the baby up for adoption. Aborting a baby due to a bad relationship sounds pretty selfish to me. It's not the baby's fault that you and your significant other are having problems. Think of it this way...if your child was 1 or 2 and you found out he was cheating, would you murder your toddler? I think not!!
2007-08-13 08:20:02 · answer #8 · answered by Becky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sort answer, woman-up. If you are making decisions for your child based upon your boyfriend talking on a chatline than you probably shouldn't have a child to begin with. If you keep this baby, grow-up. If not, than take some responsibility and keep yourself from getting pregnant until you're REALLY ready and not just because you like the idea.
2007-08-13 08:11:13 · answer #9 · answered by Rae K 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
tell him this is it, he needs to build trust now...you may or may not be a christian but the bible says forgive 70x7 meaning as many times as it takes, now there are exceptions to that, my husband had a 7 month afair with my former best friend 6 months after my son was killed in a car accident and left me stranded with a baby and nothing. I did forgive him but it has taken a long time to trust him again. We've been working for 3 years on rebuilding. relationships are work they aren't just daisies and roses, tell him that he needs to stop what he is doing if he loves you because that is a form of infidelity and it's an addiction that will tear families apart. put a lock on those type of numbers with your phone company and always get a run down of all the numbers that have been dialed. It really does hurt, you feel like you don't matter and you can't fulfill him. Tell him these things, don't get an abortion, it will be a huge mistake, even if he can't quit talking to them and you can't handle it anymore sit down and say let's work out a relationship for this baby but we don't need to be together because you can't be faithful to me.
2007-08-13 08:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by kella l 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt get an abortion just because of your bf if he has to keep going to the phone for things and you cant trust him leave him. You will find someone better that will love you and your child as his own. I know I have. I raised my daughter on my own for almost 5 yrs I found someone that loves me and my daughter we are married now and having baby boy im 35 weeks along. But if you dont want the baby i would just give it up for adoption dont blame the baby for your bfs mistakes
2007-08-13 09:27:12 · answer #11 · answered by sugarbone2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋