shes gone
now shes gone, and you wish you were there to stop her
maybe shes miles away from everything you tried to discover
she was the mystery of your thoughts, the road that found no ending
would she come back to you? wasn't she just pretending?
you dont know where she went, but she was never coming back.
so many memories were unfinished, you started to lose track.
you knew the time was coming, she had to move on, so did you.
she liked the way you used to sit on her steps at night watching a sky of blue.
you wouldn't leave until she came home, even if the night was over.
you stood with open eyes always, whether you were happy or sober.
she used to look into your eyes, take your hand, blow you away.
you wanted to say goodbye to her, but it was too late.
you thought everything was fine, but she was never going to wait for you.
get your things, forget her smile. you should move on too
2007-08-13 07:52:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Again, another good one!! Keep em' coming girl~~~you're on a roll!!! Oh by the way I rate it a 10!!
2007-08-13 10:36:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see talent in that, but I have to disagree with the last line..
get your things, forget her smile. You should move on too.
Yep, get your things and move on, but don't forget the smile, it's a cherished memory to give sad pleasure for the rest of his life. I have some of those memories, and to forget them would be to forget who I am and why I bother to go on. Lots of well wishing for your writings, you have stirred old memories and made an old fool happy. Bless you. You can have a 9 from me.
2007-08-13 09:39:23 · answer #2 · answered by Dondi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im unsure why it ends with do no longer seem up-i think of it somewhat is great yet in line with threat repeat the 1st line, "The shadows that stalk you once you're all on my own, close your ears, you're able to by no ability pay attention the moan." could be a candy ending. :) advantageous Rhyming scheme.
2016-10-02 06:10:11 · answer #3 · answered by merkl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's awesome.. an 8 it could use some revisions but the idea is cool.
I'm sure we all have felt this way at one time or another.
2007-08-13 08:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by I_love_my_dogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was totally beautiful!
It really describes how I'm feeling right now,
Continue to write, You defiantly have a gift, share it with the world!
:]
2007-08-13 08:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by little.miss.hot.lips 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I rate your poem a 10. I really like your poem. It's really good.
2007-08-13 08:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by cute_citis2009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋