Questions about cheating...?

Question

Do you consider a drunken kiss cheating?

What if you're not 'technically' together?

Which party, if it involved your 'significant other', would you be upset at more? Your 'significant other', or the other person?

What if the other person was your s.o.'s best friend, and lives with you and your s.o.?

What if the same thing happened before you thought you were in love? Is it different if you thought it was 'okay' back then, but now it's not 'okay'?

Sorry... this weekend was very eventful... and I'm very confused.

Believe me... I'm not the one who 'cheated'.

Tomorrow's our 6month... and we do plan on celebrating... which to me says we are together...

Answer 1

you have a right to be upset and confused. if you and your partner have a mutual understanding as to what is ok and what isnt then yes, its cheating. i would be more upset at my significant other. it would be a volatile living arrangement and i dont think i would be comfortable there anymore, especially if i really cared about my s.o. if it happened before and it happened again, then logic tells me that i will happen again. protect yourself and get out of this mess before you end up hurt worse.

it probably wasnt 'ok' the first time but you let it slide. mistake #1. so its certainly not ok now. have you voiced your dissaproval? if not, i recommend sitting them down one by one privately and explaining your boundaries. it sounds to me that your boundaries werent in place to begin with, or they werent being respected, one of the two. good luck to you and i hope you can work it out or at least find peace within yourself.

it doesnt really matter how long you've been with each other. what matters is that you have a mutual understanding as to what defines your relationship. i recommend more communication to start with, then see where it takes you guys..
it would also matter if your partner was remorseful or not. do they seem sorry? do you believe them? go with your gut on this one.

Answer 2

yes i do consider it cheating and it's considered extremely bad and wrong. saying 'oh i was drunk' is not an excuse. a drunken mans actions are his actual feelings. and it would be that persons fault that he got drunk in the first place. so don't let 'being drunk' be an ok excuse for anything. it's always their choice if they get drunk or not. how would you feel if they got drunk and had a three way w/ people, would you just be like 'oh its ok, you were just drunk'. i'd dump their *** so fast

if your not 'technically together' but still seeing each other, i would stop seeing each other and tell your s.o. that you don't think you want to be involved if he or she is going out getting drunk and kissing other people, especially someone they may have had a relationship with before.

i'd me more upset at the s.o. than the other person, and if you live w/ your s.o. and the person they kissed, i would not stay involved in that relationship because it's onlly going to lead to trouble.

it's not worth being in this 'relationship'. if you want to stay in it, they have to do some serious growing up because they obviously are not mature enough to handle a relationship

Answer 3

Depends on the kiss. Do you mean a sloppy drunken tongue waving french kiss, or a quick peck between friends? My boyfriend and I both kiss many of our friends. Of course the kiss isn't the same kind as that we share.

As for who I'd be upset with, frankly just my boyfriend. (I'm assuming you ARE together with your s.o.) While yes, it's in poor taste to go around messing with people in a relationship, that person and I have no commitment to each other. My boyfriend on the other hand, is supposed to be able to say no.

And in my opinion, technicalities are for courtrooms, not relationships. If I'm playing the technicality card, I'm probably not in a relationship, even if I say I am.

As for the same thing being okay before and not now, that's different. You're allowed to change how you feel about things. You should just explain this to the person, that even though it didn't bother you before, it does now. On the other hand, they are just as allowed to not like the rules changing as you are to not like things happening now that you were okay with before.

Sounds like you need to talk to your partner, not a bunch of people on yahoo. Communication (with the other person, not anyone/everyone else) will make or break any relationship.

Answer 4

i wouold consider a kiss cheating, even if the person was drunk. who would i be mad at? well it all depends. was the other person drunk as well or just taking advantage of your s.o.? however, if u 2 r not dating, then they did nothing wrong. but if you like ur s.o. and that person knows that and likes u also, then it was a little harsh to kiss someone else, but on the other hand, they were drunk. just look at it this way, at least it was only a kiss and nothing more. the best thing you can probably do is talk to your s.o. alone and ask them about the night (most likely they wouldnt remember since they were drinking) but ask if he/she has feelings for their friend. if that person says no, just let it go. it may be a little awkard in the house for a little bit, but if the kiss meant nothing than it wont be seen as anything

Answer 5

Ask yourself if it really should make a difference to you? Is your s.o. any less loving or do they appear that they're not interested in you? Is there any real reason that you or your s.o. shouldn't flirt, or have an occasional fling as long as you two still love each other?

Probably more pain and grief has been needlessly caused in our society due to the belief that "marriage is a sacred institution". There are many cultures and groups that successfully practice (and accept) non-monogamous relationships and there is nothing wrong with them as long as both of you can accept it.

Answer 6

I'd be upset at both of them.. Being drunk is no excuse.. You know how they say people say how they really feel when they are drunk. Well I think the same goes for actions. It sounds like you aren't even sure if you are with this person officially. Like maybe you are just dating and now are in love.. I would just tell them how you feel if you haven't already. If they kissed you don't know if something more will happen in the future. Maybe they have feelings for each other now?

Answer 7

i think it depends on what you and your significant other have talked about prior to the "cheating". i think that in most cases, if nothing was talked about, a drunken kiss is fair game. more than that would be considered cheating if you and your partner have decided to become exclusive.

to me is seems like all 3 parties can justify feeling a little upset with the circumstances.

Answer 8

You should probably search the net for some resources on polyamory and open relationships; sounds like somewhere inside of you or your partner there's a desire for something a bit wider than off-the-shelf monogamy.

And talk to them. Lots.

Answer 9

So I'm guessing you too were not together when this happen so it's not cheating. But it is obvious you want to be with this person so be with them. Don't hold the past over yourself or them. It's obvious you want this person I think you should be with them. goodluck (^_^)KAY

Answer 10

Being in a swinging relationship, actual cheating is hard to define!