Hi All :) .. In YOUR opinion : Is it EASIER to FORGIVE, or to HATE? :D?

Question

Explain your answer........... Use examples, if you wish....Give it some thought... thanks...
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Thanks, for answering in advance! :-)

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Micky_girl m, thanks :)
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Thanks, Nan :)
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Thanks, Q-ball, I am just looking for opinions.. I personally don't hate anyone... I dislike a few...
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Answer 1

For me it is much easier to forgive.
I actually have tried to hate someone and just can't. I don't really like them and will do my best not to be where they are or talk to them, but not hate, that is too hard.
Sometimes I even have to forgive myself for the way I have acted toward others.
Now that is hard, too. But to forgive others, that is easy.
If someone does something bad I just figure they are having a bad day or don't feel well or something like that.
And it keeps my mind much more at ease.

You have a nice day too.

Answer 2

I've never hated anyone. In my opinion, (& from the consequences of hate in others that I've seen), hate is the most self destructive of negative emotions. Jealousy & anger very close behind. Hate eats one up from the inside, & at its worst, has & is, causing much bloodshed. No need to go into simply disliking someone, or problem solving with calm, wisdon & civility.
Forgiveness can be complex, but not difficult. Understanding is essential to "forgive." Nor does one need to offer it, (which sometimes sounds condescending), but if it's asked for because the person realizes they've unintentionally hurt you, I'd always give it. A comment on "compromise": To compromise doesn't mean "giving something up" unless it's excessive pride & false sense of "losing." Compromise has virtually little to do with forgiveness. Of several answers I liked very much, one in particular got the gist of "hate" very concisely. It was deva. While referring to revenge--the offspring of hate--"...like taking poison, & waiting for the other person to die." That is excellent!
I hope you have a pleasant day/night, & thank you!

Answer 3

Another great Kimberly question! Or should I say fundamental question?

Pheww. To me this is not quite an either/or situation. I actually find in certain circumstances that both Forgiveness and Hate are equally difficult.

Everything depends upon the seriousness of the original affront. If somebody hurts or injures you by mistake, then it is possible to forgive them - even if the injury is fairly serious. In this instance forgiveness is easier than hate. Protracted hate is exhausting and eventually wears down the integrity of psychological and physical health. So hate may seem easier initially, but in the long run it is as difficult as forgiveness.

But if somebody injures you deliberately then forgiveness can be more difficult than hate. If you tell the person that what they are doing is injuring you and you beg them to refrain from their destructive actions and they still go ahead and carry out the destructive behavior, then forgiveness can become extremely difficult. If you have known the person for a long time and assumed there was maturity and growth in the relationship and that person fails to heed your plea to refrain from destructive behavior or actions, then forgiveness becomes exceedingly difficult - a real challenge. If you feel betrayed by the person - and the damage done is obviously permanent - you may never in your heart forgive them completely and may find yourself harboring hate for a nagging period of time. But this doesn't really make one state 'easier' than the other.

I have always been able to forgive people who have made even serious mistakes when they truly did not know what they were doing. But I have recently encountered a couple of people who I believe knew what they were doing. I begged them in advance not to go through with their actions because these actions did not come from a good heart. I told them that by the simple laws of cause and effect that the consequences would be disastrous and permanent. And I said repeadedly that the alternative course of action was simple, easy, straight forward and far less destructive. But they refused to listen to 'natural reason' and instead chose the destructive path. For a variety of reasons they felt justified in their actions. The result was a very unfortunate mess that impinged significantly on my life. I have, as a result, never had so much difficulty forgiving anyone before. Hate has definitely been lodged in my heart - with bad consequences.

I am learning I cannot chase away hate of this kind with words, adages, formulas, or wishes. I have to find a greater transformation that is large enough to literally change the hate into a brand new situation. Some hate, it seems, requires a genuine personal revolution to transform or get rid of. You cannot fake it. Absolute truthfulness; absolute sincerity is essential. You have to admit of, and acknowledge, the hate before you can reduce it to 'ash' and then replace the ash with a new spirit, a fresh outlook on life, on self, on your fellow humans.

In my experience, to do this, you must tap into a deeper part of the self that tends to lie dormant under normal life situations.

If you can transform the hate it might be possible - from the perspective of the new outlook - to revisit forgiving the person. You may not trust them ever again. You may decide to end the close association with them. But you might be able to raise your spirit high enough to find genuine cause to forgive them. It seems hate and forgiveness are interdependent.

Hate cripples life. It is a power. It contracts and binds like shackles. It reduces vital energy. It only appears easier than forgiveness. But forgiveness in some instances requires a real process to carry out successfully. If you pretend that you have forgiven somebody when you really have not, the original rage or outrage will just hide out in the wings waiting for its moment to seize the center of the stage and then it will seek revenge or some form of destruction possibly equal to the original hurt. It takes enormous character and exceptional practical honesty to truly forgive some people who have injured you.

If you yourself are in a position to change for the better, forgiveness becomes a little easier and hate may appear to be the harder, more problematical course. But if you cannot change your circumstances for the better, it may be harder to forgive and ostensibly easier to hate.

For all these reasons, once again Kimberly, I think you have asked a truly great question. I hope this reply offers something of practical use.

Good wishes to you.

Answer 4

Shakespeare said: "The err is human - to forgive divine!" and that old Bard was indeed a very wise man!!! Hate tends to grow - like cancer - until it becomes uncontrollable and all-consuming. It causes negative vibes within your soul, which are not good for you and those you are in contact with (especially your loved ones!) Forgiveness on the other hand brings peace and tranquility, especially to the soul, for it is a healing action (heals the break between you and the one you need to forgive!). This is positive and positiveness always brings forth sweet fruit!

Answer 5

If you have reached the feeling of hatred , forgiveness is nearly impossible .( for me.)
I do not think that hate is difficult.
It is not when you see people found guilty of child abuse or mass murder .Hatred can also be easy for people who have developed a very strong sense of Racism , developed by the education they have received and in the context they live.
It can also be a matter of religion or total absence of religion.
Forgiveness depends on how you have been hurt.
It's never easy.
You can forgive but cannot forget.

Answer 6

I think it's easier to hate. That feeling comes naturally from the gut, but forgiving takes effort.

Answer 7

For me, it's easier to forgive. I can't hate people. I just think too much about how I would feel. I wouldn't enjoy being hated, so why hate others? You get nothing out of it. When you forgive, you can at least have your friend back...or at least someone who won't trash talk you behind your back.

Answer 8

I think it's easier to forgive. Hate does nothing but destroy the hater because you have lots of negative energy inside. When you forgive you can let all of that negative energy go.

Answer 9

I think it would depend the type of person you are.... for me it would be easier to forgive because I believe that you cannot gain anything in hating other person while in forgiveness you gain friendship.

for if i have someone i and still not forgiving him/her i can't sleep peacefully and i will have troubles in mind.....

but if i give forgiveness it makes me happy knowing that i was able to make things smooth and gain back what i lost especially friendship....

thanks for your question....

Answer 10

I think it is much easier to hate. Forgiveness requires compromise because someone would have had to harm or slight you to need to forgive them, by forgiving them you say that your previous position wasn't worth staying mad over. Compromise always involves giving something up, whether tangible things or something intangible like pride. Much easier to hate, maintaining your pride and the rightness of your cause and just being angry that someone else would have done anything against you. That is why there is so much violence, people take the easier path and hate rather than forgive.