dad! i don't care! that's your problem not mine!?

Question

i don't care if you don't like him, he's still my friend, he is a crazy driver and always will be but doesn't mean i'll drive like him. i'm almost 18 now and you can't change who i am, if i wanted to change who i wanted to hang out with, i would of done it a long time ago. i don't care if you like him or not, that's your problem. he's still my friend and i'm still going to hang out with him whether you like it or not.

relieving some stress, my dad doesn't like my friend since he got dwi a few weeks ago..

Answer 1

If you still like him go ahead and hang out. But sometimes parents are right so be careful

Answer 2

You're not even 18, so I'm guessing your friend is about the same age. Not knowing where you live, I'm going to also guess that your friend isn't old enough to legally be drinking alcohol.

I can certainly relate to what you father feels. No, he can't tell you who you can and can't be friends with. But I bet he's worried about a couple of things.

He's worried that you're drinking too. If your best friend is obviously drinking, wouldn't that make him suspicioius that you were doing the same?

He's worried that you're riding in a car with your friend who has been drinking. That's very dangerous for both of you.

Rather than getting upset with your dad, the best thing you could do would be to try to convince him that A) you don't drink, no matter what peer pressure there is and B) you'd never ride in a car with someone who has been drinking. If those things aren't true, then I think your dad has good reason to worry about you.

You've probably guessed that I'm a father myself. I had an arrangement with my daughter when she was your age - that if she called me and said a "special" phrase, I'd come and pick her up wherever she was, as soon as possible, and no questions asked (at least that day). It could have been if she was with friends that were drinking, doing drugs, or with a guy that was getting a little too friendly. And she was given permission to blame me for having to leave. You might try making a similar arrangement with your dad - it'll ease his mind somewhat.

Answer 3

Please remember this is a forum for questions, not rants - get a journal if you're looking for a place to let your feelings out.
Naturally, you shouldn't give up a friend for one mistake, and it's unreasonable for anyone to insist that you do so.
But your dad has a legitimate concern - your friend has behaved very irresponsibly, and there is a chance that his reckless attitude towards drinking&driving could rub off on you. Ask yourself honestly: if your friend hadn't been caught or hadn't gotten in an accident, would you still be so careful to avoid repeating his mistakes? If he kept getting away with it, would it make you more likely to try it yourself... or allow him to keep doing it?

Throwing a temper tantrum isn't the mature response here (it rarely is). Tell your father calmly that you realize your friend is a crazy driver and that he made a serious mistake, but that one mistake doesn't make him a bad person. Assure your father that you view driving as a privilege, not a right, and you will drive in a safe and responsible manner. Assure him that you will never get in the car with a drunk driver, or allow your friends to drive drunk again. Remind him that your friends are your friends because they are good people, and hanging out with them gives you a chance to learn from their mistakes, not repeat them.

Answer 4

Advice: if you end up talking with him about this, change your wording. He is just looking out for you and your safety. Look at it from his point of view: say you are a father and your son was riding around with a friend who was intoxicated. How would you feel if they got in a wreck and you let it happen? Losing a child is one of the hardest things a parent can go through. Tell your dad that you understand where he is coming from and that your friend made a mistake. Tell him that he raised you to be more responsible than that and you would never put others in danger. Just be respectful of him. He loves you and you are still living under his roof and are underage. Be patient. Your time to make all of your own decisions will come soon enough.

Answer 5

just look at it this way your Dad is being protective, he probably cares about you a lot and just doesn't want you to get hurt. Your Dad was your age at one time and he probably mad some really big mistakes that he regrets and doesn't want you to make the same mistake. Yes parents do seem controlling a lot of the time. But you should sit down with your Dad and confront the problem and work it out. Explain how you feel and what you think(be HONEST and DON'T hold back) and then give him a chance to explain how he feels about it too. And if yall don't get along well then have someone standing by as a referee so things don't get out of control.

Answer 6

Reality Check?
Sounds like Dad has choosen the wrong words to express his concern which started a line of fireworks. True or false?
Almost 18, well then step back and as an adult, picture your Dad being informed that his daughter just died because the driver was drinking.
Make a contract with your Dad that if your friend is drunk, you will call a cab, stay where you are (call him), or call him for a ride. Worked for my daughters & me.

Answer 7

You not hanging out with him will be much better than him killing you in a car wreck. Your dad is only protecting you and looking out for you. Respect him and yourself enough not to get into a vehicle with someone so irresponsible. You are not showing responsibility by doing so, therefore, your dad will not think you are responsible enough to handle your own. Your dad is absolutely right by what he said and or did. I dont blame him a bit, and I would put you on lockdown if I caught you in a vehicle with the same person again. Your age doesnt matter a bit. You are apparently not mature enough to act like an adult and should not be treated like one either.

Answer 8

I understand your stress and anger...
but just a bit of advice. your friend got DWI... meaning that he was drinking and driving..
your dad probably doesnt want you in the same car with him... what would have happened if he hit somebody? Drinking impairs your driving skills.. and somebody could have been killed. Or he could have been arrested for reckless driving, then when they made him take a breathalizer, they could arrest him, and you being there with him, you can get in trouble also.
I suggest next time you ride in the car with your friend, make sure he has not been drinking that day..

Answer 9

Your Dad must really love and care about your well being. Someday maybe you will be a Dad and then understand why he feels this way. Just show your Dad that you are a responsible teen and maybe he will lighten up some. I know by being a parent myself and not always caring for some of their friends that kids are pretty much going to do what they want. I really hope that you understand why he feels this way..Because he loves you and you should feel lucky, alot of kids have Dads that don't give a crap about them.

Answer 10

Watch out now, dad just cares about your safety and my dad done me the same way on many occasions and I wished I'd have listened to him now that I'm all grown up and had to learn the hard way, which definately was not dads way, 'Lessons learned my child,many on down the trail,If I was you I would pay very close to dads advise.