My husband came home with an oxy 40 yesterday (he's been on a week binge) and I took it from him and told him I flushed it down the tiolet. I asked him to show me I meant more than the drugs. He freaked out about me dumping it in the toilet and I knew his answer. I went to a friends house and left him there to think. We made up and I went home. I didn't flush it down the toilet and gave it to him after he said I meant more. He just took line after line as I cried in the bedroom. He chose the pill over his wife. What would you do?
2007-08-13 05:56:58 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you should have flushed it and never gave into him. Don't offer him the temptation and it won't come back and bite you in the butt. He is going to need help. The offer should be get help or loose me and then NEVER over him any drugs after that. Stick to you guns and don't tempt him.
2007-08-13 06:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by infinitibjm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very long, but you eventually got to the point. I'm in a similar situation as yourself, my husband attends these social events with people in authority primarily chiefs and directors, maybe one or two co-workers. I know these gatherings are very important for his career and our future. Their wives are stay at home wives since their husbands are clearly financially stable. There is also an age gap between me and the wives and my husband and I do not have any kids. There are a lot of things I cannot relate to them on, but they are always trying to include me in on the conversations (even when I have no clue of what they are talking about). I don't attend all the functions with my husband, but I attend maybe 1 or 2 a month just to satisfy him. I am not a conversation starter and do not get any excitement out of attending these socials as they can be rather dull. They get really dunk at times and start saying whatever comes to mind this usually determines how soon we are going leave. (yippee for me) On the other hand, you have kids and maybe you and the wives can relate on that subject. Try making a simple dish to bring to the party or buy it at the store. No one has to know it was bought except you and yours. If they like it, it can be a hit for the evening and future events. If they don't, at least you are showing you are ALIVE. You do not have to change who you are. Wish you well!!!
2016-05-21 06:53:45 · answer #2 · answered by liana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drug addiction is very serious. Unless he wants to quit or is at least willing to try, you will always come second. He needs help, professional. You are in it for the long haul, so I hope you are ready.
First, get yourself help. Talk to your doctor about what is going on and he can steer you in the right direction.
Any children?
If yes, please think about their well-being.
It is known that Oxy addicts will ultimately steal, once their money runs out. Keep a close eye on your bank accounts. Any unusual withdrawals? Anything unaccounted for?
Do not threaten, or give ultimatums. This will not help. Just remind him that you love him, and ask him if he would be willing to get help. Tell him you will go with him, whatever it takes.
I really wish you the best of luck!!!
Please seek help!!
Good luck!!
2007-08-13 06:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
www.alanon.org
Please go to this site & find a meeting in your area FOR YOU.
It's not a choice between you and this drug - it's an addiction. I do not mean to sound cruel when I tell you that you are caught in your own ego if you think for even a millisecond that an addiction is any reflection upon your wifeliness (I think I just made up a new word).
It's a dangerous viewpoint for you because taking ANY responsibility for his addiction is setting yourself up for a long hard road of trying to fix something that you didn't break with tools you don't have.
Please look into alanon. At least one of you should be sane enough to make some decisions, you know?
2007-08-13 09:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to divorce the man because he has already choosen drugs over you. I had a boyfriend a long time ago who was a crack addict. I just got tired of seeing him high all the time and I told him off and then walked out of his life. We eventually got back together but nothing had changed. He ended up dying in his sleep from a heart attack that was caused from doing crack so much. You need to start putting yourself first because the man that you are married to is not doing that. Get a divorce so you can finally end your problems that your husband has with drugs. You deserve better than being with a drug addict.
2007-08-13 06:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oxy is a very very addicting drug, he is gonna choose the drug over you any time. The only way you can help him is tough love, you need to leave him and he needs to get help. He can NOT stay off Oxy without help, he will tell you he can stop whenever he wants, HE CAN'T. I f you do find any more drugs get rid of them don't give it to me but be careful he might become viloent with you ( I know its not him, he would never harm you, right, but the drug addict now will indeed hurt you) I hope you have close friends and family to help you out, it will be a struggle, and I hope he gets help.
2007-08-13 06:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by shorte716 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been where you are, that is why I took the kids and left. It just gets worse and ends up violently. I feared for mine and my kids safety: ie. from people he owed money too, to the behavior and the abuse, because I wouldn't get strung out with him.
It's not worth it and since he's made up his mind where you stand in his life, it's time you took a stand and left. You deserve better than this and you are much more valuable than drugs. Remember it is not you who made him take the drugs it is/was his own free will. So do not blame yourself. Good luck and I will be praying for you. Check out NA - Narcotics Anonymous for some help with this.
2007-08-13 06:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mom of three A.R.T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably totally addicted to these drugs and right now he'd choose the drugs over anything and anyone including you. so don't expect him to be sober and choose wisely. instead, he needs your help and support. part of being a spouse is being there for your life partner in good times and bad times. you can't just dump your spouse like a boyfriend. You should try to take him to a rehab clinic or try to talk to him about his addiction and make him get out of this self-destructive life style. he needs your help. Good Luck!
2007-08-13 06:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It boils down to "tough love" or lethal benevolence (Dr. Adam Twersky).
Consider a formal and professionaL INTERVENTION.
If that is not possible, "cut loose the cagboose" - an old al-anon expression that means that if the train is on fire and you are in the caboose - cut it loose from the rest of the mess
2007-08-13 06:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by dwhelper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to go to rehab. The drugs are in control of his mind right now. He has to want to change though. If he doesn't he'll keep doing the same old thing. I wish you the best of luck and hope that he is ready to turn his life around.
2007-08-13 06:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋