I now realize how much I hate living with other people. What's the best way to break my engagement with my fiance? How can I also get my ring back (I want to sell it)?
2007-08-13 05:40:38 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try being a mature adult and be honest.
2007-08-13 05:55:40 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, W O W.... ok. I'm not going to be nasty, because I know where you are coming from.
First of all, do you prefer to be alone or are you just not happy in your current relationship? Is it the home sharing that bothers you or are you just looking for another mate?
If you truly have made the decision that you would prefer to be on your own then let me tell you this: It's great for the first 6 months or so, then you miss the female companionship. So ask yourself if you truly want to be ALONE or just not with her.
The ring was a gift, and a promise you made to her. Unfortunately you don't get to ask for that back. If she has any ethics at all she will gladly GIVE it back to you once you break it off. If she refuses, well... it was still a gift.
I feel your pain. After 4 years with the same woman I asked her to leave about 2 months ago. I never proposed to her, so I don't have to worry about a ring, but the decision to go it alone is never easy.
Good Luck!
2007-08-13 05:50:43 · answer #2 · answered by nremtohio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you to do is tell her the truth so she will know that it had nothing to do with love for her and she will see how shallow you are. She is much better off without you. It is a good thing she did not marry you. You are too immature for marriage. Grow up and know what you are promising before you do so. You dont get the ring back bc you broke the promise of marriage. She keeps it. The only time you get an engagement ring back is if she breaks off the engagement.
2007-08-13 05:45:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, there must be some other reason why you don't want to get married to this person. because i think if you really loved her and wanted to marry her you could get used to living with her. but, if this is the only reason you better come up with something else to tell her because that doesn't sound like enough to break an engagement.
maybe you shouldn't have proposed and gave her the ring in the first place. maybe you just need to grow up and apologize to her about being a big baby and maybe (if you didn't break her heart) she will give the ring back. because traditionally they can do whatever they want with the ring after you give it to them. she can keep it, sell it, or just throw it into the ocean.
2007-08-13 05:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I broke up with my fiance... I actually found someone else that I was happier with and broke the whole thing off. It was hard, but the only way you can do it is to just DO it. Sit down with her, have a talk and just break up with her. Either that or ask if you guys can put your relationship on hold.
Are you sure that this is what you want to do? There likely is no turning back. If she is a great girl then I'd think twice about breaking up with her... because chances are things won't be the same if you want her back. Her family will probably hate you for hurting her as well.
If she's mature about it, she'll give you back the ring. It took me 6 months to send my ring back to my fiance. I just couldn't let it go emotionally, but I knew I had to. I gave it to my parents and they FedExed it back to his family. Unfortunately, if she doesn't want to give it back, you can't do much about it (especially if she's angry at you and wants to hold it to "punish" you).
Good luck, my friend. Think twice before you do this! If you really think she's not for you, it's for the best on both sides. Be glad you noticed this BEFORE you got married.
2007-08-13 05:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking the engagement is easy. You just have to have the courage to say that you prefer being alone. Getting the ring back is more difficult. You might have to steal it when she has it off her finger.
Just ask for the ring back. You might offer to split the profits on the ring after you sell it with the split based on how long the engagement lasted.
2007-08-13 05:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, think of it this way -- if you break and engagement, the girl will probably NEVER forgive you.
If you want to be alone, then you don't have to worry about taking crap from anyone living with you.
So, the best way is, get the ring back through any method you know (get her to take it off), and then get out of there. You can do the communication after the ring is in your possession.
You could be honest and try to rationally explain the situation, but I wouldn't hold out much hope for that. Don't expect your fiance to be reasonible.
2007-08-13 05:45:20 · answer #7 · answered by BZR 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You selfish individual. Why the hell did you propose in the first place? Didn't you already know you liked living alone--if that can even be construed as a "good reason" to break someone's heart?
I can't even believe this chick didn't have the presence of mind to figure out what a self-involved boob you truly are. What a horrible way to treat someone who has made just as much of a sacrifice as you to commit her life to another person, for better or worse.
Like you, I LOVE(D) living alone as well, but over the last ten years, I have committed myself to a friendship that works better when we are roommates (for a variety of reasons)--and with a male, no less. Like a marriage, there have been "good reasons" and not-so-good reasons for me to want to throw him out the nearest window, but I reassess my priorities, I realize my affection for him outweighs any annoyances that can be easily dealt with, and I keep my friend, my finances and the business of my daily home life on a steady and stable foundation. It works because sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it's annoying, sometimes it's jarring and uncomfortable. But that's life, that's loving someone else, that being human.
I think you need to rethink your choice, buddy. You can't possibly be so much of a jerk that you're willing to possibly ruin a good relationship YOU CHOSE to get into (I'm assuming no one put a gun to your head and MADE you propose) over such an ultimately transitory lifestyle preference.
2007-08-13 05:53:45 · answer #8 · answered by dangerouspoet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When an engagement is broken off
it's generally a tradition for the fiancee
to return the engagement ring.
And as for breaking it off; just tell her what you've just told us-that seems
like the message should be well received to me...loudly and clearly.
Explain your problem and let her know that it wasn't anything that she's done nor didn't do. Be supportive and comfort her in letting her know that you
still care about her as a friend.
Best of luck.
2007-08-13 05:52:15 · answer #9 · answered by sylvester m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can try being honest with her and asking for the ring back. Problem is, if you break the engagement, you've breached the contract to marry. She's probably entitled to keep the ring and may do so out of anger... I'd keep it, sell it and have a blow out vacation!
2007-08-13 05:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by fdm215 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My thing is if i break up with you I give back the ring.
If you break up with me the ring is mine.
P.S living alone is not enough try talking to this person about the living habits. Why do people always want the easy way out? That's not even a big problem.
2007-08-13 05:44:55 · answer #11 · answered by gia00601 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋