i love my husband but there is this really great guy at work and i really like him in that WAY. what do i do?
2007-08-13 04:58:19 · 63 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband has almost cheated on me before with a girl he worked with. calling spending time together.
2007-08-13 05:45:27 · update #1
don't worry about that guy because he probably doesn't even know u like him. plus how do u know that he would do anything with u anyway. best bet is to leave that guy alone.
2007-08-13 05:39:10 · answer #1 · answered by UofL Girl 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You made an oath at your wedding. Just a guess, but this oath was probably not: 'Until an attraction to another person do us part.'
You love your husband and you chose to marry him. Show him, and yourself, that you are more than just a human animal with hormonal desires. You are capable of thinking, feeling and truly loving another person in a deep and profound way that includes loyalty in the face of temptation. If, after a long, faithful and happy life with your husband, I doubt you will look back on your past and wish you had had an affair. But if you have been unfaithful -- and whether or not it ruined your marriage -- it will be something that will haunt you.
2007-08-13 05:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by gam 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't do anything! You're married! It's normal to look, but avoid the temptation. You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but usually it's not. Yeah there are a lot of good looking men out there, but you've got one. You can't have two of them. And it's not right that you are considering this and risking your relationship with your husband. Not to mention hurting him in the process because he WILL find out. Sooner or later, he will find out you cheated on him.
If your marriage is that bad and you want out; get that taken care of before you go off seeking others. It's not fair to him, and it's not fair to the guy you're googling over.
So think about this before you act and ask yourself if all this aggrevation is worth the trouble of an affair? Lead us not into temptation...Or stay away from it all together.
2007-08-13 05:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by lady_bella 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Sure, I've been attracted to other men and I'm happily married, but that's all it was. I never pursue it or think about it. It's only human to feel this. It's when we start dwelling on the thought when we truly start having problems. First, you find this guy attractive...then you flirt and he may flirt back...then you step a little further in it asking for trouble...then you start thinking of your husband who's waiting on you at home...is it wrong/is it right...then you decide whether you're going to do it or not...If you do, you will have guilt from it for the rest of your life..If you don't you will have known that you made the right move and left it along....You're taken...You chose the man you're with...leave it at that and enjoy your husband, your marriage, your life with him...Don't step into trouble...
2007-08-13 05:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by Ericka 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, you're not actually 'happily married' if you're attracted to someone else, are you? Get yourself some help before you hurt your husband. Don't let anything happen between you and this guy at work, that will be a very big mistake.
Good Luck
2007-08-13 05:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by 3rd LIFE 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless you want to ruin your happy marriage with adultery, then leave the guy at work alone! Don't even look his way bc you will be tempted.
Your husband deserves your mind and thoughts...not the guy at work who you are lusting after. DO NOT ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHTS OF WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE WITH THE OTHER GUY. That road leads to sin and destruction.
Proverbs 6:32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.
Also be aware of your actions around the other guy so that you do not tempt him to have an affair with a married woman!
Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Pray for strength from God in this area of weakness. Satan will make the other man look so appealing, but do not think of things in the 'now'. Look at the end result when you have sinned against your own body, and against your husband and ruined your marriage all for a moment of passion.
1 Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands [who feels sure that he has a steadfast mind and is standing firm], take heed lest he fall [into sin].
2007-08-13 05:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may want to consider finding a different job...just to remove the temptation! But if that's not an option, just do your best to get over it. Like a gal said earlier, you don't know him like you know your hubby...it's just a shallow attraction and TOTALLY not worth screwing up your marriage over.
Another gal said fantasize about him once in a while...but I actually wouldn't suggest that...if you give in to that, you're essentially cheating in your mind. Do your best to just put him out of your mind. Maybe make up some thing in your head about him that'd turn you off of him. Lol. (Just not something that would make it a pain to work with him.)
If you're wandering in your affections like this, maybe you need a little spice in your marriage. Might wanna try stepping up the romance a notch. It is possible that your hubby might wonder what's up, which brings me to another point;
It might be a good idea to tell your husband about this attraction. Only you can make that judgment call, but if you think he would be understanding and not flip out, then I can tell you one thing; it will help to keep you from acting on it if your husband knows about it! Kind of gives you an accountability - nips it in the bud before it starts. It also might help your husband realize how much he can trust you because you share your concerns. Then again, you might completely trust yourself to not do anything stupid, and that's great. :)
Whatever you do, DON'T act on it!!! Try to keep it very professional with that guy...even if he's not making passes, it's just for your own self-control.
If you really really struggle with it...just imagine how much pain and heartbreak it would cause your beloved husband...I think things happen because people just don't think of consequences, so force yourself to think of what it'd do down the road. And if you believe in God...pray! He'll help you stay faithful, because that's what He wants you to do.
2007-08-13 05:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by Bethany C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dear friend,
I know of which you speak. It is so nice to have a work crush. You feel frivolous, giddy, and dreamy-eyed.
If you go any further, you will head down a terrible terrible path. I know from experience. It's true that you can't help but like the guy in that WAY, but you can control your behavior. It is nice to like someone at work, you have a reason to get dressed in the morning, but let me tell you this - it ends poorly always, especially if you are married.
Nip it in the bud as soon as you can.
Your feelings will pass in time. It's okay to have them, but don't act on them. You will need all the help you can get.
I really wish you the best in this.
2007-08-13 05:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by teacup_trashy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
girl you are not happily married if you like this guy that much if you were happily married you wouldnt fell attarcted by him you wouldnt think of him or any other man that way other than your husband maybe it is a inflautuation but mabe thats what
your husband is maybe he wasnt the right guy after all that is a really hard question sorry i wasnt a bigger help just dont do anything stupid
2007-08-13 05:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by I♥EdwardCullen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should distance yourself from this guy at work so that you are not put in a position in which you will act on it. Just do not flirt with him or act on any of your feelings. Every time that you have these feelings, think of your husband and what you would want him to do if he were in the same situation.
2007-08-13 05:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you have choices here. You can risk your marriage and be secretive for some attraction that you think is worth it. You can get a divorce for some attraction that you think is worth it. Or you could get over the guy at work and stay with your husband who you love and possibly try to work on getting closer to him.
2007-08-13 05:02:16 · answer #11 · answered by Jeebus 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋