should an 18 year old have rules?

Question

my daughter left home and has just moved back in she is 18 and has finished high school she still depends on me to pay insurance and clothes but thinks she should have no rules what do you think?

Answer 1

I'm 18 and still live at home, I have rules that I follow because it isn't my house and if my parents paid for everything for me I wouldn't be too pleased, It's like the easy way out. I need to learn myself how to budget and be careful with my money, and save up to get things. You're making it too easy for her, seriously.. put your foot down! She'll thank you when she's older.

Answer 2

Definitely! I didnt when I moved back home at that age, but that is bc I didnt need any. I respected the home and if I went out, I would come home at a decent hour. I would also clean the entire house everyday so that I would not feel like I was just living off of my parents for nothing. I helped every chance I got. If I came into some money, I would check her mail and steal like the water bill or cable bill and go pay it, then put the receipt back into her mail box. She needs rules and guidance. If she is going to be gone for the night, she should let you know where and with whom. She should help around the house with chores and such. She needs ground rules so that she will respect you and your house. She knows this as well, she just will not admit it. This is still a wild stage of her life and she is likely still experimenting with things. If she is not in school/college, I would either have her go back or get a job so that she will have money for things such as clothes and help with groceries or a bill or something similar. One thing I do not agree with though is that she should pay rent. Do not force her to do so. If you have a medical problem and lose everything and can only turn to her for help in the future, she may turn around and do the same to you. I believe when you have them, then they are yours forever and should help them when needed or when you can. I know many parents who live to regret that they charged their kids rent when they lived with them. That just isnt right in my opinion, and it is a very regretful decision. However, help with bills or groceries is a good thing for her to do when she can.

Answer 3

Ok... She is 18yrs old, which means that she is barely entering adulthood. It's good to give her a little bit of slack and allow her to enjoy young adulthood. Try to be close to her in order to allow her to feel comfortable enough to tell you things and confide in you..Counsel her about sex and consequences if she doesn’t take care of herself...STD's, pregnancy etc. This will also help with your relationship with her and her respect towards you and your rules. Although some freedom wouldn't hurt, I think she should also have some kind of structure. Such as a curfew, and letting you know when and how many friends she wants to invite to the house (This will also allow you to know what kind of people she socializes with and it would make her feel comfortable to bring friends over, and keep her off the streets a bit longer) She needs to learn that there are rules EVERYWHERE you go in life. If she was living on her own, she would have to abide by the rules of the town she lives in and respect her neighbors, she would have to be responsible and pay rent+bills on time, and she would have to abide a whole set of rules at work... or when she's driving, there are traffic rules as well.... Basically, what I’m trying to let you know is that she needs a foundation to work from. If you dont provide structure at this early stage in her adult life, then she could learn it the hard way....Good luck, and remember... you have to be stern with her and let her know you're serious.

Answer 4

You may be a legal adult, but it certainly doesn't appear that you've taken on the responsibilities of an adult--establishing your own home, paying all your own bills,etc. So you want the benefits without the responsibilities? It doesn’t work that way. When you move out, then you can come and go 'whenever you feel like it'. Until then, as long you live under Mom and Dad's roof you follow their rules.

Answer 5

At the age of 18 this young lady is regarded as an adult,now generally adults don't need to be governed by rules,but if your daughter needs rules to be able to live under your roof then she clearly isn't behaving like an adult,maybe you could remind her of this fact.
So basically no she shouldn't need rules,and she should be paying her own way in life now so if she hasn't got a job then tell her to get one.
It sounds very much to me like she's getting a free ride,and you're the soft one.

Answer 6

Well, as long as she is living under your roof, she should follow your rules! If she really feels she is so grown up, she should find somewhere to live so she can do what she wants but as long as she is in your house, she should abide by any rules you lay down. I am sure that when she has a home of her own and you go and visit her, you will respect her wishes right?

Answer 7

She should not have rules on how to live her life... but she DOES have to follow the rules of the household while she is living there. It has nothing to do with how old she is, but just that you have your rights to peace and quiet and what not. If she doesn't want rules, then she needs to move out. That is all there is to it. You can't have it both ways.... well, you can, but the parent will live to regret it! Put your foot down and stand firm.

Answer 8

it's a difficult one. You have every right to impose rules if she is living in your home - such as contributing money, helping out around the house, being considerate and not making noise, bringing loads of friends home etc. On the other hand, she is an adult, and within reason should be allowed to do her own thing, not have a curfew etc. I think you should have house-specific rules, like cleaning, noise, financial contributions etc but she should be allowed to do what she wants outside the house, eat what she wants, provided she buys it etc, rather like having a lodger

Answer 9

if she is still dependant on you she should still have rules. you know, like she cant just do whatever she wants and then make you pay for her clothes etc. she is out of h.s. she needs to get a job or go to college then after that cut her rules

Answer 10

If you pay for her up keep she has to comply with you rules, if she got a job and paid you board maybe then she could be freer to do what she wants. It is difficult if she's lived on her own but you let her come back so remember you are doing her a favour and she should just be grateful for that, not all parents would be so good.

That's what I think anyway.