My Husband and I have been married for almost 7 yrs and been together for 11 yrs. He has stopped having sex with me for no reason or at least he says he doesn't know why. It's been quite a few months and no sex!! I've tried to be patient but now I've started to threaten to leave if he doesn't change--that only starts fights. I'm at my whits end. Is it justified to leave if he won't make love to me? I can't imagine not having sex for the rest of my life!! And no I haven't let myself go!
2007-08-13 04:32:37 · 36 answers · asked by Marygoroun(d) 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am angry because I am frustrated! I don't think he's having an affair, he wouldn't have the time. We are also very affectionate with each other. Just no sex!
2007-08-13 04:53:32 · update #1
dunno i am having same problem i have been with my hubby for 8 yrs. married 3 yrs.. and sex is hard to come by... i have even tried toys,nighties,etc... i always get turned down... i has made me feel ugly and not even a woman anymore... if you find out why let me know please thx...
2007-08-13 04:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by SSHH_NONAME 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear of the 7 year itch?? Sounds funny but ive known guys that have gone through it. I also agree with the other person who suggested it was something he may need to see a doctor about. Has he been stressed @ work? Has his fam had problems? There could b a number of things goin on with him. Just try talkin and not threatening to leave, that only makes things worse especially if hes got an issue down there. So like i said just ask him if he has a min to talk and see what kind of response u get. Dont pry, give him time . Or u can write ssome questions on a piece of paper and have him answer them, and let him ask questions too. There may b alot goin on with him and he may just not know how to deal. Just b supportive whatever the answers are. Good luck!
2007-08-13 04:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by mizchif2729 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old is he? and if the conversation only leads to fights you might want to do some investigating something is going on to cause this. does he complain about the things you do more now and you just can not seem to please him in anything if a man is cheating there are always signs pay attention. If its not that and he has a medical condition see a doctor if he is willing to go then it could me medical if not look for THE SIGNS. If this is the case see a counselor if it don't work then leave him because if you stay he will think it is acceptable.
2007-08-13 04:49:27 · answer #3 · answered by annette5000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How much effort are you putting in to the act of sex? Have you tried to entice him? (dress sexy, put on a porno, etc...)
It's actually been studied that men and women have opposing sex drives. This is so that when the man's libido is down, the woman can step up and make him interested in sex again. There will come a time when your libido is down and he will need to step up his efforts. It's natures way of keeping you both interested without wearing sex out so that it loses all appeal. Be patient with your man, try some things above and sweetie, don't make him feel badly for this. Tell him you love him anyway and you'll be resorting to pleasuring yourself until he's ready to join in. Buy a vibrator and see if that entices him.
2007-08-13 04:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why are you so angry and confrontational? Your husband has a problem...maybe its physical, maybe its psychological. What he needs is loving support, not threats of abandonment. Really, what makes you think threatening him is going to help him? It makes no sense.
Let him know that you love him. That you care for him. Put the emphasis on helping him and quit being so worried about getting your rocks off. Maybe he needs to see a counselor. Maybe you two should go together. Work it out as a TEAM.
2007-08-13 04:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Has he always been the one to initiate sex with you? What you should do is make the first move. So many women wait for their husbands to start something when it's only fair if we can initiate it first as they so often do. Do something different. Don't even offer him a BJ-just do it when he least expects it. You have to keep the fire going somehow...Good Luck.
2007-08-13 04:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Ericka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's probably more to the story than we are hearing here. A man doesn't just give up sex with his wife for no reason. There has to be an event that set this in motion.
2007-08-13 04:40:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He owns you an explanation why he stop having sex with you, either something physical, I don't think psychological because he was doing good before, right. Or (I hate to say this) he's having sex somewhere else.
If he doesn't comply or change his attitude, ask him if he wants to save the marriage and go to a counselor.
But stop threatening him, when you say you're going to do something do it, or looses effect. Counseling or it's over.
2007-08-13 04:42:50 · answer #8 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You guys should defintely go to some type of marriage counseling since you've been together so long and if that doesn't help I would get a divorce. Are you sure he isn't having sex with another woman and thats why you two are not having sex? Try the counseling and if it doenst work after that let it go!!!
2007-08-13 04:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by babygyrl11 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, you don't get up leave over a sex issue. The 7th. year is a very difficult year. You have to find out what is causing the problem. Is he attracted to someone else? Is he just at that 7 year stage where we all get bored but have to team together with our partner to overcome it. Marriage counseling is needed with this one. You don't walk out of a 7 year committment without working together to find common ground. Hang in there!
2007-08-13 04:37:37 · answer #10 · answered by Wrong number 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are completely going about this in an unproductive and insensitive way. You are lucky he doesn't dump YOU for acting like this! Ever consider that there might be a medical, psychological, or physical reason for this that he is embarrassed to discuss? Ever consider that it really MIGHT be you or your relationship with him? These things don't just happen. You need to get him in to see his doctor, and you BOTH need to get in to see a marriage therapist to work on this. If you are not willing or able to work on making your marriage successful, then no wonder he is losing interest in you. Sounds like you care more about sex than love. What a shame, because you can have both. I suggest calling that doctor today. Good luck!
2007-08-13 04:40:15 · answer #11 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋