Is divorce the answer to everything?

Question

Why is it that when someone is having problems in their marriage and they ask for advice most people say that they should get a divorce? Do most people on here think that divorce will solve everything? My parents were married for 42 years when my dad passed away. They did not get divorced but they had plenty of problems in all the years that they were married. I did get a divorce because I could not live like my mother did and I was also abused. Why is divorce the answer to all problems? Don't couples believe in staying together through thick and thin?

Answer 1

Divorce is just an easy way out. You had a reason to get your divorce, most couples do not. They just don't want to take the time to solve problems. My parents have been married for 43 years, aunt and uncle for 50 years. I know they had their problems but they got through them. My husband and I have been married for 8 years and it's not always easy. I have to spend most of my time alone because of the military deployments and such but I have survived without cheating. There are very few military wives who can honestly say that. I have come to know that with each new day there will be new decisions to make and a difficulty or two but I'm learning and dealing as best I can. Divorce has never entered my mind.

Answer 2

People now days are lazy and are always looking for the easy way out. Before I divorced my ex, I did everything I could to try and fix the things that were broken and continuing the things that weren't. Also people these days get married for the wrong reasons. Most of the time it's lust, or money, or they settle for that person instead of taking the time to find the right person. I don't believe that divorce is always the answer, but when you can sleep at night knowing that you have done everything that you possibly could, then yes, divorce might be the best option.

Answer 3

I believe divorce is a good and bad thing. Good because, when people really need it, it's available. Like abuse cases. It's bad because people see divorce as a easy way out. They rush into marriage, and if it don't work out then they can get a divorce. Without even trying other options to work out their marriage The bottom line divorce is easy, and no people that get a divorce don't want to stay together through the thick and thin.

Answer 4

Kc, you are so right. Divorce should only be considered as a last resort, unless infidelity exists. Couples counciling, anything is better than divorce. My atty once told me when I was fretting the 2nd divorce after she filed on me, he said she's no longer your friend, she's now the enemy...yesterday is over, we are here today and she's no longer the same person she was. He was right. If 2 ppl are totally committed to getting married, why can't they look at the whole picture when considering divorce instead of the "me, myself and I" choice. Communication breakdown in relationships is rediculous. Fighting is easier than talking. Running to somebody else instead of staying and working it out must be easier...who said life was easy. That grass may be greener on the other side of the street but it still needs love and attention and committment to make it that green. Why can't we all work on our green grass instead of someone elses. Its not a divorce, its a funeral...a life together died. All that it was about died. All the happiness died. All the love died. The real, personal, "best friend" helper/lover companionship died. And we, those who didn't want it are left to mourn. I am still hurting from the pain of my only child, my son being stillborn 18 yrs ago, but I am also glad in the fact that he didn't have to suffer through the pain of watching his parents divorce either or be known as a child from a broken home. Sometimes I believe children have it worse than adults because they have the will built in them to want to change whats happened and make it better by apologizing for what they think they did to make mommy and daddy move out on each other and divide the children into two unequal, unhappy parts. no, i'm not a happy divorcee...those two words are an oxymoron.

Answer 5

I think you obviously know that answer to that. I am not one for fairy tales. If a marriage has been miserable from the start and is presently miserable, then it will most likely continue to be miserable. A person has to decide for themselves whether this is something they can live with or not. If a marriage has been good, but goes through a rough patch due to a single isolated problem, then there is hope for that marriage. Sometimes you just have to be practical for the sake of sanity and peace. At any rate, it's all the more reason for people to wait until they have matured some and a healthy relationship comes along to marry and not just marry solely for love believing that it will overcome issues that are present even before marriage.

Answer 6

I had no CHOICE in my divorce---he left me for a skanky ***** after 24 years.
I don't believe in putting up with cheating, so I always advise divorce when that happens---because it ALWAYS happens again.
I advise it in abusive cases, too. And when someone is so miserably happy, when they've tried everything, then why should they be forced to stay? Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage.
People need to think LONGER nad DEEPER before they GET married--THAT would really cut the divorce rate!!

Answer 7

I'd say divorce is not what people should be doing in most cases, but it's so easy to get one now days! It's the easy way out!

Answer 8

I think alot of marriages end because the husband and wife are just too lazy to work out their issues and that's why there are so many divorces today...back in the day people stuck it out no matter what...

Answer 9

it depends on the situation solely.. being physically and emotionally abused will lead to obvious separation.. however, as human beings, our main goal is to seek for the betterment.. so improvin ourselves to suit our partner's interest and behavior should be practised.. i really feel that we should be able to decipher our partner's mind and learn them even more when handling with a certain problem.. i feel divorce shud be considered when someone is having a major torment.. like phsysical abuse and emotionally disturbed..other than that, we should reconsider the move as choosing a life partner should be once in a life..

Answer 10

I don't believe people should stay married if.....

one person is physically, mentally, emotionally abusive.

one person has a drug, alcohol, gambling problem that they refuse to get help for

one person is a chronic cheater

one person is abusive to the children.

I believe in marriage and staying to make it work....as long as it doesn't include the things I've mentioned above.