We have been married 1 year. He goes to the pubs and with friends all the time. I told him that I want him to share more time with me, but he doesnt want. He said is the way how he is and I should accept it. I wanted to start a family, but I m really scared whilest he says if I dont accept everything how he is we shoul get divorce. Please help me with an answer!!!
2007-08-13 04:05:40 · 9 answers · asked by Estrella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um, perhaps I'm unclear on the definition of the word "nice." He doesn't want to spend time with you, refuses to listen to you when you ask him to spend more time with you, says you shoud just accept that he doesn't like spending time with you, and says if you don't like it, the two of you should divorce, and you think he's "very nice"?? He sounds like a jerk to me! The problem is, I have a feeling that he was probably like this BEFORE you married him, and you just hoped he would change. Big mistake! Unfortunately, if you plan to honor your marriage vows and stay married to this man, then you're pretty much stuck.
2007-08-13 04:14:21 · answer #1 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question has two contradictory statements in it:
1. My husband is very nice.
2. He doesn't want to listen to me.
A husband that doesn't spend time with you or listen to you is NOT nice. You want to know the truth? I think you need to either learn how to stand up for yourself, or take his advice: get a divorce. Nothing is worth being married to an insensitive, manipulating creep that doesn't respect you or treat you like he loves you. Do NOT have a child with this man until your relationship is straightened out. A bad husband will usually be a bad father. If I were you, I'd do one of two things: make an appointment with a marriage counselor and demand that he attend with you, or make an appointment with an attorney. Good luck!
2007-08-13 04:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too had that problem, in Sept. it will be 6 yrs that I have been married. My advice is that you do it too. As much as you don't want to, you'll have to give him a taste of his own medicine, show him your life goes on without him, and that your not always going to be waiting around for him. He claims what he;s doing is innocent, then so is what your doing. As for starting a family, WAIT! Don't go and get yourself into something that your going to regret later when your all alone at 1 in the morning caring for a baby while he's out partying.
Sonner or later he'll get tired of his friends..and that lifestyle.
2007-08-13 04:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your hubby is a jerk, why won't he spend more time with you??? Whatever you do don't have kids for atleast 2 more years and only if he changes his tune. If he doesn't want to spend time with you now how do you think it'll be with kids he'll just go out and dump them off on you...I suggest you tell him he either changes and spends more time with you or your leaving...you can't be married to an *** who doesn't want to be with you. It sounds like his buddies and the pub are more important than you...BIG PROBLEM!!! REG FLAG!!!!
2007-08-13 04:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set aside a particular time to communicate to him without television or the different distractions. tell him which you particularly choose him to take heed to you for 3 minutes without responding. Then have him repeat lower back what you purely mentioned. If he won't be able to try this wisely, then he does not understand a thank you to pay attention and you're able to the two choose for counseling to learn better verbal replace qualifications.
2016-10-15 04:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by gustavo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and this man married a year ago was he like this before you married him? He doesn"t want to spend time with you and i guess your lonely you should have thought about this and talked about having kids before you got married.
Sounds like to me you have married someone very selfless.
if you want kids and quality time it appears to me that you have married the wrong person. Do what makes you happy.
2007-08-13 04:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he accept you for all that you are? i doubt it. men are less likely than women to express that though. tell him that you wanting to spend time with him is not asking him to change but to also acknowledge that you two are married now and that DOES mean that priorities must shift and sacrafices must be made. he is goign to need to sacrafice time out with his friends when you to decide to start a family and until then he shoudl want to go out with you and have romantic evenings. it's not asking him be change who he is, you're asking him to make room for you in his life and to be more to him than his maid and sex object. you want intimacy and friendship too.
2007-08-13 04:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by Victoria J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have good talk with your hubby, and compromise with each other.
2007-08-13 04:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by Ashlyn Ash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't sound too "nice".
2007-08-13 04:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋