My husband doesn't want another baby but I do, what should I do?

Question

We already have a 19 month old daughter who was born 2 months after we were married. (you do the math) Before we got married we split up b/c of alot of problems. But got married b/c we still loved each other and we were going to have a baby. Now things are so much better. We are so in love and we love our daughter. But everytime the subject of having another baby comes up he gets mad and he said that he doesn't want another one. He says that he never wanted children to begin with. He does love our daughter even though she wasn't planned. Please help I don't know how to change his mind or if I should try. I want another child so bad.

Answer 1

he might think that one child is a big enough handful, especially because she isn't even 2 years old yet. if i were you, i'd wait until she was a bit older to see what happens.

Answer 2

A child is not something you cheat your husband in to because you want it.
It's not a new pair of shoes, and 'wanting' it does not grant you the right to a child.

You may think that all is well nowadays, but your husband was forced into this marriage - no matter what you say.

Better work on a basis for a family - be a loving wife instead of an 'I want'. If you do that, you have a basis for hinting that a family with one kid is incomplete.

Right now it sounds like you are only interested in fulfilling your 'wants' and you don't care what your husband thinks or how he feels.

Why don't you suggest some counceling to gain a better understanding of his desires and outlook on life? You may learn a thing or two about yourself; and if you present it in that way and go with your husband, he might well learn to know you better as well.
Then there might be that second kid after all.

Keep this up and you might find yourself stuck with two toddlers and no man. Think about that!

Answer 3

This is my opinion. If you got pregnant again...you might become a single mother. It does NOT ensure a man will stay
with you, married or not. What is the hurry to have another kid ?? You still have a toddler. Motherhood is a demanding
job...and kids are expensive. You've already had problems with him in the past about certain issues. You will create a
bigger one..were you to "accidently" become pregnant again.
The focus will be taken off him..and all on the kids. He will feel
resentful towards you, cheat on you, all that ****. Be grateful
for the child you DO have right now. Give the marriage alot
more time to adjust and such. You'll be way better off, for sure

Answer 4

I think he could go for one more. I was in a similar situation, but unfortunately we went on to have a third child despite the pill. I had a vasectomy almost the next day. The third child has medical problems which strengthens my position that we should not have had her, but, of course, I can't say that. Next thing I know, we have 3 cats and a dog too. No wonder I am unhappy. Remember it is also true that "If Dad ain't happy, then Mom ain't happy"

Answer 5

You need to ask him why?

Is it finances, freedom; or something he is not yet able to talk about from his childhood which makes him wish for no more.

Communicate, tell him why you want another child right now; you have justed started your life together really, but, this is a major issue and it cannot be left unresolved forever.

My two children are over 3 years apart, it's the perfect age difference I think; talk, talk, talk, so that you will understand each others point of view, and why?

Answer 6

This should have been discuss before you had sex and got pregnant and had the first child. Now your right if this is the way that he feels about having kids than you should respect his wishes. You cant seem to understand he never wanted children in the first place you should have talked about this before sex and marriage. Sometimes what we want and get are two differnet things your not gonna change his mind . if you love him be happy.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. I have talked to my hubby so much about my wanting another baby and he doesnt want any more. He has a daughter by a ex and a son with me. He says thats all he needs. I try and tell him I want a girl, to raise and love and he is a great father. Now I have got him to were if I do get preg he says great but he doesnt want to plan it. Good luck

Answer 8

Why would you want to burden this man with more financial problems, when your child is only 19 months old? What is wrong with you? Why can't you enjoy the child you have, instead of rushing to have another one? Women like you ruin marriages. The man has said he doesn't want another child, yet you want to treat him like he's a child himself and "change his mind." You want to act like he doesn't have sense enough to know what he wants, because you don't have sense enough to leave well enough alone. You're a foolish woman and you're going to end up alone.

Answer 9

you shouldnt press it too much your situation is kinda like mine we found out my wife was pregnant 2 weeks after we got married, i wasnt ready for kids either but now i couldnt be happier that we had my son who is now 7, i dont another child either but my wife has mentioned it off and on in the past but i still would rather just devote my time to one child

Answer 10

if you are married then you need to make agreements, and compromise.

if one partner does not want another child, the other needs to accept this.

perhaps he will change his mind over time, but why pressure him? pressuring a person really makes for an uncomfortable existance. ask me... my ex boyfriend pressured me about everything and i finally said "screw it!" and broke up.

be thankful for one, healthy child... he didn't want kids in the first place (you should have already known this BEFORE getting married).