My husband and I just got married a little less than a month ago. Neither of us have ever wanted children until now, however we were going to wait a few years (3 at the most), but I just found out I'm almost 3 months pregnant. How in the world do I tell him? His mother has been pestering us for months, so I know both sides of our family will be happy, but I'm a little worried with him because of the timing - just so soon into our marriage. Please help with any suggestions on how to break the news to him.
P.S. There is no way possible he's going to be angry or violent (just not in him), but what I'm mostly worried about is him being scared.
2007-08-13 03:47:44 · 38 answers · asked by ladygodiva0220 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Number one - there's absolutely no question that he's the father. Number two - I've been on birth control, but during all the wedding planning I did miss a few (and he knows that); plus the bc I was on causes me to miss periods, so a few missed periods mean nothing to us.
2007-08-13 04:35:54 · update #1
So what if he's scared, you're going to give birth in 6 months so just tell him "honey, I know we didn't plan this but i just found out I'm 'X' weeks pregnant"...he may need some time to adjust to the idea, but YOU are the one doing all the work (at least right now) so stop worrying about babying him...he was there for the conception, he can darn sure deal with the news that he had at least 1 good swimmer.
Good luck!
2007-08-13 03:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although I have not been in the situation quite yet, I am sure most people have a moment, if not more, where they are scared. I would just start by letting him know that you know you wanted to wait before having kids, but sometimes things happen (and always for a reason). Make sure to let him know that you are scared too. That way, he won't feel like he is the only one, if in fact he is scared. You never can tell, he my be thrilled and very open to it. Remember, you are both in this together, so enjoy it! I'm sure all will work out well. Congratulations and best wishes!
2007-08-13 03:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Newsflash-this could have happened three years after you got married and he would still be scared. That will never go away. He will be scared until the day he dies. Millions of questions will go through his head....Can he provide for the family? Is he going to be a good dad? Heck-30 years from now he will still be wondering-Was I good enough dad? Could i have done better?
Just be open with him and allow him to talk about his fears and dont be mad if he is a little taken aback by this news. Just be understanding. He will come around, but it might take a little time. I know my sister's husband didn't come around until he heard the heartbeat at the doctor's office. After that-he was more excited than a little kid in a candy shop.
2007-08-13 03:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married him obviously because you love and trust him, and the point of marriage is to become 1. You shouldn't be carrying all this alone, he needs and deserves to know and he shouldn't be scared. When a couple gets married they should both know that pregnancy is a poccibility so you should just tell him. In my own experience the longer I held things from my husband the more upset he was that I kept it from him. I'm sure he'll be happy and excited. Another thing I've learned is WE MAKE PLANS AND GOD LAUGHS. Just tell him and enjoy this gift together.
2007-08-13 04:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by Nay Nay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already made a commitment to you. I can understand being scared, I think even after being married for three years he would get scared. Being a father is a big deal. You should definately present the information to him excitedly. Showing him you are happy about the pregnancy may calm any fears he may have. He's gotta remember too, you have 7 months to sort things out! Congrats on the new addition to the family, and your marriage!!
2007-08-13 03:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by ~~*Paradise Dreams*~~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he will be scarred, but he is your husband and this is a wonderful way for the 2 of you to go into your lives together. Be patient and kind and help him also. The best way to tell him is right away because the longer you wait the more it will build up inside you! Tell him not at work but wait unitl hes on his way home. If your really scared text him. I know it sounds childish but it will give him a few minutes to compose himself before taking to you. Welcome to married life.
You will never regret the child that is inside you now. Best of luck and remember what a gift has been givin to you.
2007-08-13 03:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by GB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he will definatly be scared so be ready for that. Secondly, this child is a gift to you. Timing has nothing to do with it. If you both didn't really want to have a child, you would have been taking much more drastic measures to prevent that. Just tell him, let him know how excited you are and while you know the timing is off, this is the blessing God delivered to you now.
2007-08-13 03:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do You know how many young couples try for years to have a child..but can't?
Thank God you're able to have children..
I got pregnant on my wedding night..We had wanted to wait a few years, until we got on our feet, saved some money, and were ready to have a baby..But it happened..So get on with your lives, and prepare to welcome this precious new life into the world!
My husband and I went out to dinner one evening..And I told him..That I have some wonderful news..I told him..It's a little sooner than we expected..But WE"RE going to have a baby.
He was surprised..but happy..After all, it took two to create this new life..
So stop worrying so much..and tell him "The Good News"..
Congratulations!
2007-08-13 04:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about him being scared - it's his job to be scared with you now, since you're married. Just tell him upfront.
How did you not know that you were 2 months pregnant when you got married? Didn't you miss something a couple times? That might piss him off....
2007-08-13 03:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by N.FromVT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...so my husband wanted to wait to have kids until we had been married at least 5 yrs...well 6 months into our marriage I got pregnant....he was upset, but i put my foot down and told him that this happened we will take resposibility for our actions and we will love and cherish our baby! He wasnt ever too excited while i was pregnant, but the moment that baby came out he was soo excited....now our son is the light of his life and he couldnt do w/ out him! So no matter how he takes it now just know that he will love that baby so much....I was scared to tell my husband too, but I just told him that God works in Mysterious ways and that this baby would bring joy to our lives and it was true!! Just tell him and then wait a few more days and then discuss it...(it will take that long for the shock to wear off) Have him go to your first appt. thats when we first saw the heart beat and then my husband went to the ultrasound and that was good...he was able to see the baby moving around and stuff....but nothing compared to when he first laid eyes on our son......just be patient w/ your husband he will come around!
2007-08-13 04:04:03 · answer #10 · answered by tll 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋