night. He was a bachelor for most of his life and strip clubs were a common occurance for him. Because of my ex-husbands behavior I was very close minded about porn/mags/strip clubs, etc... When my husband & I first met he was aware of my hang ups & knew what my "deal breakers" were & has been very respectful of that. Because I trust my husband so much & he respects me so much, I have become more open sexually. I know that if I were to say no to anything, he would respect that. It was my idea to go to the club & of course he was happy about it. He assured me that if at any time I became uncomfortable we would leave no questions asked. The thing is I/we had a great time while we were there but now that I'm starting to feel as though I have opened "Pandora's Box". I got a lot of attention from the strippers & even got on stage with a couple of strippers. My husband said he enjoyed going & seeing me have fun/showing me off was the big turn on for him. Is it really harmless fun? Is it OK?
2007-08-13 03:33:17 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Going was my idea and I had a great time while we were there. It's just after the booze and the good time "high" wore off that I'm rethinking my decision.
2007-08-13 03:48:54 · update #1
How can I not over think this. I was fine with it until I started analyzing everything.
2007-08-13 03:59:00 · update #2
You just need to decide whether you enjoyed it or not. Then if the answer is "yes", keep going. And I don't think that you should feel ashame or remorse if you enjoyed it. Because everyone needs colorful moments in their marriage.And it is obvious that routine kills relationships. If it is "no" then I don't think that your husband will mind it. Since he seems a nice guy from your text.
2007-08-21 02:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a judgmental person, so all I can do is share what I know from experience.I started dancing at 40 and quit at 42. I think it was just a phase I was going through. A big problem you may not be thinking about now is how much it can cost to go to a club. The dancers are not really thinking about you, just how to get your money. Forget it if you think for a second you are more than just another mark for them. If after this you still want to go, then I say go ahead until you no longer want to go. Learn the strippers tricks though, that way you can bring the club to your husband all by yourself! It works. Most every movement a good stripper makes can actually be used in bed. Think about it.
Blessed Be
2007-08-20 08:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you got caught up in the moment and the fantasy of it all, not to mention the booze. But lets be realistic about this are you going to make these trips to the strip club a regular occurrence in your marriage, how long before the idea of swinging comes into play? I think once the fantasy you gave your husband wore off you realized you would have to keep this up or go further into that kind of lifestyle to please him. Your morals showed up as the liquor wore off. You did it once, experienced what goes in those clubs. You are married and the strip club is no place for truly married devoted respectable people go.
2007-08-20 15:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its harmless fun until it becomes a habit. So long as you guys enjoy it on occasion then it shouldn't be a problem. Its great to hear that there are still couples out there willing to be open to one an others ideas.
And bit misconception about strip clubs is that the girls are after your man. WRONG!!!!! Many of them don't go for men, they like girls, and just want your man's money. And even if the girl is straight, she's been up to her elbows w/ sweaty, nasty jerk offs all night and isn't turned on by any of the men there....ITS JUST A JOB! And they definitely enjoy the wives there, shows that particular patron, just may be human after all.
2007-08-13 03:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you did open "Pandora's Box".
If you care about your relationship and what you are building it on you wouldn't be giving your husband a free get laid pass.
-You are giving him the okay and when you do such things, the men often go overboard.
It is just wrong.
Would he be comfortable if you went to La Bares for women and gotten some table dances and even got on stage there with the other men? I doubt that he would be so "Okay" with it. It would make him feel uncomfortable.
It would make him feel like he isn't enough that you have to lust after other men to get attention with you at home.
If he has to go to topless bars, what is really telling you?
There are plenty of other places that you can go to have fun together and that place isn't one of them.
You are only creating a stumbling block for your man and setting yourself up for heartbreak. You should reconsider this issue with your man. -Good luck.
2007-08-18 10:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to strip clubs with my ex and once with some friends...It's perfectly harmless.
It's not unsual for couples to go together to get a "turn-on". The strippers love giving lap dances to couples and they pay more attention to the female significant other. My ex always let me choose which stripper could give us a lap dance.
The only thing I don't like is when other male customers eye me or act surprised as to why I'm there. Men aren't the only one that like to see naked women dance. ;)
2007-08-18 12:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, Confused about if you should love yourself enough not to get drunk in strip clubs and do anything.
Be Alert to Snares
You may think you and your husband are having fun now but what happens when you start having sexual urges toward some of the woman you are dancing with. Alot of people think you are born gay but in my opionion that is not true. Becoming homosexual is a choice that is lead by our sexual feelings. And if you are dancing with these woman you can easily start having sexual feeling toward females. Or what happens if your husband gets so excited about your new wild side he ask you to have a threesome with another woman or man. Snares are little traps set by the Devil to make a little issue a big problem. It is good that you are second guessing a bad choice. You need to remember all the reasons you first didn't want to do those things. Men sometimes get woman to do things they normally would not do without saying anything. How, because a woman wants to please her husband in everyway and if you knew in your heart he wanted those thing then you probably talked yourself into changing your morals. Now the question is are you willing to pay the consequences of you choosing to go to bars, strip joints and clubs, get drunk and basically doing anything. If you just want to please your husband and do anything then your in store for alot of guilt and second guessing. Go with your first thoughts and do things with your husband that will make you feel good inside. And if your husband is as understanding as you say he is. He will go along with you, and then you don't have to worry about getting cought in snares by the Devil.
2007-08-20 09:04:23 · answer #7 · answered by justsayyes32 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As long as you both understand the reason you are there and that you both have a good time without feeling uncomfortable there should be no problem.
There are actually some strip clubs opening up that are for couples only.
Keep going and have fun!
2007-08-13 04:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i don't think that's a good idea. i mean if he has to go to strip clubs and married then obviously there is something missing. you shouldn't have to go out of your way and play the game with him just to make everything A" ok. if you feel your not happy about it then you really need to talk about it. i mean my husband doesn't need to go to strip clubs. he's got me and is VERY happy to have me for his wife. i mean what guy wouldn't be happy you know.
2007-08-20 14:11:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar story, i went once with my husband. and had a lot of fun, but my sister in laws, cant believe that i went, i know that both of their husbands have gone to a strip bar, but they feel that by going it would be like giving them permission to go their all the time, but if he were to ask me to do it again i would i had a lot of fun, other guys we telling my husband that he was so lucky that i was so open minded. I think it is harmless fun.
2007-08-17 10:33:19 · answer #10 · answered by lily 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋