You might be a Republican if..... (do you agree?)?

Question

I think this is what the party has morphed into.

You believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

You believe that every failed foreign policy issue this country has had since January 22, 2001 (the day Bush was inaugurated) is the direct cause of the Clinton, Carter, Johnson, and Kennedy administration, whereas Reagan, Bush I and of course Bush II have played no part whatsoever in those failures and cannot be blamed in any way.

You believe in prayer in schools, as long as you pray to a Christan God.

You believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humanity with no regulation whatsoever.

You believe that pedophilia and alcoholism are evil, unless your a Republican congressman then they are "diseases" that need to be "cured" and the "victim" of the "disease" deserves prayers.

You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science," but Creationism (or Intelligent Design) should be taught in schools.

You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

You have to believe that when Clinton was involved in scandals in the 90s, it was a serious matter that demanded intense investigation. But when Bush and other administration officials were involved in scandals this year, they're irrelevant and wasting time.

Answer 1

So true.

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.

Answer 2

You might be a Republican if..... (do you agree?)?

I think this is what the party has morphed into.

You believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

You believe that every failed foreign policy issue this country has had since January 22, 2001 (the day Bush was inaugurated) is the direct cause of the Clinton, Carter, Johnson, and Kennedy administration, whereas Reagan, Bush I and of course Bush II have played no part whatsoever in those failures and cannot be blamed in any way.

You believe in prayer in schools, as long as you pray to a Christan God.

You believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all humanity with no regulation whatsoever.

You believe that pedophilia and alcoholism are evil, unless your a Republican congressman then they are "diseases" that need to be "cured" and the "victim" of the "disease" deserves prayers.
Additional Details

1 day ago
You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science," but Creationism (or Intelligent Design) should be taught in schools.

You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

You have to believe that when Clinton was involved in scandals in the 90s, it was a serious matter that demanded intense investigation. But when Bush and other administration officials were involved in scandals this year, they're irrelevant and wasting time.
1 day ago - 3 days left to answer. - 32 answers - Report Abuse

Answer 3

I agree to a certain extent. I'm a Republican at least for now I'm thinking of being an Independent. I can easily do the same about Democrats and paint an exaggerated picture. I do realize Bush has failed us and I feel remorse that I voted for him. I also believe that there are some Republicans in the party that are right wing nutts and they don't represent the party as a whole. Prayer in school should be for everyone regards of what the beliefs are as long there is a level playing field. I do feel homosexuality is morally wrong BUT... gays getting married does not affect my life so let them. A woman should have the right to choose even though I feel its immoral. I mean if it was illegal she would have it anyways and its better for it to be done in a medical facility than a back ally. The bottom line is George Bush hijacked the Republicans and now the party must break free from fascism and war! EMAIL ME YOUR THOUGHTS. :)

Answer 4

I disagree 100%. The GOP has been offering up moderates for the last 20 years and it's not getting them anywhere. It needs a candidate that solidly differentiates themselves from the democrats on the issues. Most people these days can't tell the difference between moderate republicans and democrats. Moderates don't really stand for any solid principles, they just go with the latest poll data, and end up growing the size and power of government. That is not a direction I want to see this country go in, for it;s been that way for too long. In the end, there really is no difference between the two parties, one just grows government at a faster rate. Unless the GOP offers candidates that want to take the limited government approach.

Answer 5

Wow, Lil Me... you stirred it up. I must agree with some of the republicans that claim this isn't all republicans. But then again, I don't see where you said it describes all republicans.

Luckily, there are conservatives like Jake to prove it isn't all republicans and can look at issues for what they are. Unfortunately, there are also the spoiled cry-babies that will always resort to name-calling. Kind of sounds like the far-left, doesn't it?

Now, I would say that if anyone goes through your list checking them all off in agreement, then they probably do vote republican.

Now I would look for a similar list from republicans regarding democrats (which will, of course, be mostly regarding the loonies at the far left like these fine judges letting child molesters walk free). Don't get offended when it happens because it will be as valid as your list of "you might be's"

Remember, most people have liberal and conservative tendencies. My problem is with the outliers on both ends getting all the media attention.

Answer 6

There is a lot of truth in what you said. Unfortunately the neocons have a similar list that also has a lot of truth in it. I have been both a Republican and a Democrat. Now I am an independant swing voter and often employ the rule, "When in doubt, vote'm out." Until one of the parties wakes up and starts acting like it understands what it takes to lead people instead of pushing them with more and more laws I'll probably continue to oppose whoever is in power. The neocons abandoned Conservative respect for the Constitution and the limits of power so I left them. The Democrats abandoned the link between their rights in the bill of rights and controlling the size of government to protect those rights. Neither side remembers that this government was formed by free individuals who willing gave the government a limited authority over them in order to enjoy the benefits of liberty. Although everything is negotiable, nothing is negotiable when no deal lasts longer than the next congress and neither side shows any understanding of the principles of leadership. First of which is, people have to be able to trust their leaders to keep their word. The Constitution is the finest peace treaty ever written but, like any peace treaty, is only a scrap of paper when people begin disregarding its terms,good manners, and unwritten limitations to abuse it to whip their opponents whenever they happen to have the upper hand.
Folks, the second amendment is the only one that puts teeth in the bill of rights, and it has nothing to do with sporting weapons. The price of freedom is paid in blood, at home as well as abroad.Yes, unfortunately that includes innocent blood shed by whackos who can't be trusted with a pair of burned out matches. That is the price. Too many people have surrendered their responsibility to protect themselves and instead cry for a policeman and videocamera in every corner, forgetting that that surrenders power to the guardians.
"Looks grim, Batman."
"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?"
Wasn't it Plato who said something to the effect that Republics devolve into Democracies, which eventually become Dictatorshops. And, hopefully eventually become Republics. Sign me, Harry Seldon.

Answer 7

I'm a conservative and I think that you're lumping us all together which isn't fair.#1 I don't care what the gays do, it doesn't affect my life if they get married...# 2..I have disagreed with Bush on the war,but I also blame the house and senate for authorizing him to go to war, they should have taken more time to evalute the consequences of going to war..# 3..I don't believe that there should be prayers in schools..# 4..I don't care if a woman has an abortian, but I don't believe that government should pay for it..# 5..pedophiles should go to prison..# 6..Drunk drivers kill people..if they kill someone they should be charged with murder, they taking of a life is murder, it doesn't matter if it was done with a gun or a car, it's still murder..# 6..I have healthcare through Blue Cross- Blue Shield..it cost me $400 a month which is alot..I have to take Nexium because I have acid reflux disease..Blue Cross doesn't cover it so I have to pay an extra $160 a month..I don't understand why people trust the government to do anything for them..it would be another bureaucracy

Answer 8

Hahaha nice, this one was my favorite:

"You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science," but Creationism (or Intelligent Design) should be taught in schools."

To be fair of course not every Republican meets all these criteria, but in general this describes the hypocrisy of the Republican Party very accurately. Nicely done.

Answer 9

That pretty much sums up Bush supporters, but I don't consider them real conservatives, or Republicans.

More like ex-southern democrats that joined the Republican party.

Answer 10

That pretty well describes the more vocal among the GOP and particularly the neocon faction. There have been times in history where the GOP was like that and they moved to the middle got straightened out and led the country well. We should not expect such a return this time for about 20 years. The cycles in American political history is roughly 20 years or so.

Answer 11

LOL yup, that pretty much sums up the Republican party...You may have missed a couple in there, but otherwise a job well done!
BTW, WCSteel, just because someone disagrees with your values or makes generalizations doesn't mean they're a "racist." They may be prejudiced, but the last time I checked no one is born a Republican...Unless you're rich! THEN you're born a Republican. lol! Otherwise, you're a Republican by choice. Quit playing the "victim," don't just cry "racism," stand up for your beliefs!