Does your spouse get mad when you talk on Yahoo Answers?

Question

I don't understand, he seemed emotionally unavaliable, I told everyone here I'm married, and I made sure he knew that as well. Could he be jealous, that I'm talking with people online?I never talk with guys exclusively, my husband has a quiet personality and he doesn't make friends outside of work? So should I just stop all my activities for him? Did any woman experienced this on Yahoo answers?

Wow, Mrs. Jackal, you sounded very bitter, just got dumped?

Answer 1

Well I think it is that he may be afraid that you will meet or flirt with a guy and end up liking him. You husband has always sounded like the jealous type to some degree. I think he may be a bit controlling and not like the idea that there is an aspect of your life that he has no control over. That would be this, I think it would be silly for anyone to get jealous about yahoo answers. It is fun and you can meet some really nice people on here. I mean you are very pretty and he may just be scared that someone will try to sweep you off of your feet. I do not think he should be worried at all. I mean have have made it clear that you are married and have a child. So I don't think anyone would be actively trying to get you to leave him. I mean that would be stupid. I do not think it is because he wants to spend more time with you. I wish it was, but he sounds like he just does not want you talking to anyone unless he approves of them first. I could be wrong, but that is just what it sounds like to me. :) I do agree with the guy who did his thesis about relationships. The only thing I see that he could be wrong about is your husband doing this unknowingly. I think from what I have heard that he knows what he is saying and why. That is why I think it is an issue of control for him.

Answer 2

I'm a guy but I do have something to share. My x-wife didn't talk on Yahoo but when we had issues in our marriage she would talk about it with some of her girlfriends to get their opinions.

Then she would come back to me and tell me what they thought, even though none of her friends were experts on the issues we were having. She, however, told me her g/f's opinions as if they should be a deciding factor in what we did.

I tried to explain to her that our issues were for us to work out so that we felt good about it and that the solution worked for us. What her friends opinions were, made no difference. She never could understand this.

That's why I never ask any questions on Yahoo. If I'm having a problem I want advice from an expert, not someone who, for all I know, knows less about the subject than I do.

I don't know if this is a concern of your husband or not. What a man who also answered this said is correct. When a man is married to someone as beautiful as you are, it is difficult to not be jealous. Even if he trusts you, he knows that some men are not trustworthy and will do anything to get what they want.

About your husband not seeming emotional available; that may have been the case, but the solution is not to get that emotional contact somewhere else. The solution is to talk to your husband about this and to tell him how much you need this and that you want to get this from him.

If you get your emotional needs from outside your marriage this will gradually cause more and more distance in your marriage until their is no marriage left.

Encouraging him to do this and working with him may be enough to change this. If this is not enough, a good counselor can be helpful. If your husband is shy, it means that for some reason, emotions are difficult for him to deal with.

Some people are introverts and/or intellectuals and have a hard time being open and emotionally available because of this. Some people have had some emotional trauma in their earliar life and that causes the difficulty.

In either case this can be changed. I am an introvert and tend to be a thinker. I also had some emotional trauma's that made me insecure about women. I was able to overcome both of those issues through education and therapy. I bet your husband can change also.

It sounds to me like you are very important to him and also that your marriage is very important to him. I encourage you to give him a chance.
Another thing to realize is that you come from a different culture than many people who answer on Yahoo. Their answers may be OK in their culture but may not work in yours.

Answer 3

I would NOT stop all your activities! Remember a marriage is a partnership and should be a give and / or take. If he is feeling insecure about you giving your "2 cents" at Y!A then your marriage has an issue about trust.

You are not responsible for his feelings but, your own only because you can't control how he's going to feel 5 minutes later versus 30 minutes later. I think you need to sit down and talk to him.

You see, if you give into this situation and gave up on Y!A which you like and entertains your brain then what's going to happen next time when he asks you to stop doing something else.

Basically, you need to talk to him and ask him what really is going on with him. Why is he feeling this way. If that doesn't help within the next few months then go to counseling. You want to catch this kind of situation as early as possible because if you don't then it could be a bigger problem later on down the road.

You see the reason is not really Y!A but, he is unknowlingly testing you on how far he can push you and what he can get. Again, this is unknowingly! We are all guilty of this sometimes and sometimes be more understanding. But, remember marriage is a partnership that is based on give and take.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Thats funny because I had the same problem. I can tell when something bothers my husband even though he may not say anything. He has moments when he comes by and looks at the computer inadvertenly. It's funny to me though. I think it's cute he cares. I say just reassure your husband. Have him sit with you one day or involve your husband like I do. I don't tell him other peoples questions or secrets but I involve by asking him some of the questions. What i mean is when general questions come up I ask him what he thinks and that sparks converstaion between us while I'm answering on yahoo. I even posted a question that we didn't know the answer to, a long time ago , and should him how it works. He still looks over my shoulder every now and again but he doesn't feel threatened.

Answer 5

Well, I'm rarely on when he's around. I go on for a bit in the morning, and sometimes in the afternoon for about a half hour.
So it's nothing that would take away time from me and him, or our family. We have WAY better things to do.
-- and who's this mythical Mrs. Jackal?

Answer 6

Sometimes their insecurities might get the best of them and they'll take it out on you. It's not what you're doing, it's the fact that he may be afraid that you'd find a cool guy to talk to online and that you'll dump hubby for him. You know it's not true, but no matter how much you try to convince him, he's going to feel this way. He might even go so far as to want to read over all your old questions and answers. (Is there any way to delete those???)

Just hang in there and let him know that he's the most important thing in your life, but you need a social outlet before you go crazy. Good luck!

Answer 7

in spite of...i take advantage of my substantial different to get out of issues too. If i don't prefer to wreck someones emotions then i'm going to apply him as a fallback decision. I continuously tell him tho' so he knows and might determine if necessary. FYI - i does not make him appear as if a jealous jacka s s tho'. i might probable say that I had plans with him or something like that.

Answer 8

Guys are different. Some would mind and other would not. Yahoo answers is not dating site so I believe most husband would not unless you are spending an awful lot of time and neglecting them.

Answer 9

Mine doesn't care, he's usually on HIS computer when I'm on mine.

I think your husband is awfully insecure, and the two of you might benefit from some counseling. He needs to work on becoming less emotionally distant, and you seem to need the courage to TELL him what you need.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Wow, your husband is really controlling. That is not normal. A spouse has no right to tell his or her partner who she can or cannot speak with online or offline. A marriage should be based on trust not obedience and fear. I feel bad for you.