Would you do this?

Question

I was listening to the radio this morning and the topic was married couples who work long hours on purpose because they don't want to go home. One lady called in and said she stays at work 3 hrs longer than she has to, so she can avoid spending time with her husband. Now her husband doesn't mistreat her, he's just a very affectionate person. She said he is in the military and she hates it when he comes because he is too clingy. Another woman called in and said that she stays longer hours at work so she avoid being bother with her 3 kids and husband. She said she works full-time and so does her husband. However, she said that he is useless and does nothing to help around the house or with the kids. So she stays at work longer work to avoid her life at home. Then a man called in and said he stays longer at work to avoid his wife and kids. He claimed that his wife is a stay at home mom, but does nothing around the house and does not cook at all. So when he gets home has to cook and clean.

Answer 1

I think a husband should want to get off work to go home and experience his wife and be fascinated to hear her voice and what she has to say. Maybe stopping off on the way to bring home some of her favorite ice-cream or a flower every now or then.

It is very satisfying and comforting to be in the same space with your spouse and not even having to say anything to each other, maybe reading or watching a movie together.

It should be fun to greet your wife at the end of her day and give her a foot massage and maybe paint her toes or some other thing that she likes to show some appreciation of a wonderful gift from God!

People don't know what they have until it's gone!

Answer 2

Yup, unfortunately I see my mom do this all the time…and I know for certain it’s not because she loves work. I think for every one of the situations listed above, it has to do with a severe communication problem between the two partners. I mean if the first woman told her husband she thought he was too clingy, then maybe he’d clam it down a bit. If the second woman told her husband that she’d like some help around the house, then perhaps she wouldn’t be so overwhelmed…and so forth. I mean I know my mom finds it much easier to avoid the situation (work long hours) then confront it head on. Personally, I think this is a very cowardly stance, so to answer your question, NO.

Answer 3

I think people do a lot of things to avoid conflict at home. Some find an excuse to stay late at the office. Some spend too much time on the PC doing stuff like this. Some will insist that the program they're watching on TV is too important to skip to deal with the kids or talk to the spouse. Some save up errands to run until the spouse comes home, so they can extend the daily time apart. There are all kinds of "passive-aggressive" ways to avoid dealing with each other. As someone else said, it IS immature, disconnected, and non-relational. Anyone who does this sort of thing needs to get real with their feelings and their spouse and get help....

Answer 4

I used to, but things have changed (and we had no kids at the time, or I wouldn't have done it, people should get their tails home if they have kids). My husband was in Iraq the first 6 months of our marriage, and he had a horrible time adjusting to life when he came home (but I didn't know that was the problem, every time I asked he would say "nothing" or it was because of me, and I believed him). He was emotionally abusive and manipulative. I would come home at night from work and school and he wouldn't even acknowledge that I was there. I had to stand next to him and say something before he would even look at me and sometimes he wouldn't even look up. He would ridicule me for not cleaning to his standards, yet he didn't do any of it and only went to class when he felt like it and only worked part time. He said he didn't want to have kids with me because I was crazy and couldn't keep a house clean enough for child safety (I swept and tidied up every night, kept the house dusted, kept the laundry up, did the dishes, all of it, cooked all our meals and did all the cleaning, occasionally, I had books/papers out for school work). I avoided him because every time I came home I was a nervous wreck. I felt sick to my stomach. My heart broke every time I saw him. Then, after about 3 years, the clouds just kind of lifted and we get along great. When we did have a child, I didn't avoide him, I just stayed strong and took our daughter to do things when he wasn't doing well.

Answer 5

Yes. I do it all the time. The time I spend with my husband has become so stressful that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. We are completely disconnected and live more like roommates. When he gets home from a long day at work, the first thing he does is pick up the phone and call his mom to tell her all about it. He never talks to me about anything important. Everything is "his" or "mine"; there is no "ours". I am angry all the time from the frustration; I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I could just run away and never come back. Work is my only escape.

Answer 6

I stay at home and my husband spends extra time at work almost everyday. We have 4 kids together and in between the kids and just being at home all the time, I'm in desperate need of a companion and adult conversation. I wouldn't do that to him.

Answer 7

Antics like these are for lowlifes that are unable to cope with normal everyday life. I would also suspect that some of these callers are saying this as an alternative way of explaning why they cheat as well. The only thing more stupid than this is the fact that the radio show would broadcast it so even more dumbasses would have the same idea!

Answer 8

When I get off work, the only thing that I want to do is get home to my wife and baby girl. I dont understand how people dont want to be at home with there family. Whats the point of staying together.

Answer 9

No! Avoiding an issue never solves it. They should work at the situation instead. Anyway, who wants to stay at work any longer than necessary!?

Answer 10

No, I wouldn't do that. And if I was ever tempted to put work above family I would hope I would have the guts and integrity to work on the issue rather than hiding out at work like a selfish coward.