Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence?

Question

I once dated a guy who hit me...after we broke up I suffered such horrible anxiety attacks and would often feel guilty about nothing. I even had to take Valium to calm down. Is this some sort of post traumatic stress or syndrome?

What other symptoms can one experience? How did you get over it?

Answer 1

It is post traumatic stress syndrome. Women who have gone through this experience feel helpless and alone. They have low self-esteem and believe what the batter has said about them. Some women are in constant fear even when the abuser is no longer in the picture. She feels everything she does is wrong and feels she should be punished for her mistakes. Usually the mistakes they feel they have made are not mistakes at all. Unable to recognize appropriate boundries. Unrealistic view of what is abuse and what isn't. Often women who have been abused will choose another abuser. That is what they are use to and that is what feels comfortable. Feel, shame and quilt, hate themselves, feel they deserve what happened to them. Don't trust any one, especially themselves. Project their fear on others. Someone raises their hand and they duck or cringe. Fear of people, places, and things. Anger, especially toward themselves. To some women, abuse means love. If the abuser is not there anymore they will abuse themselves in extreem cases. Burning themselves or putting their hand on a hot burner on the stove. Cut themselves.

Going to therapy and being is a group has been the best help for most women. It can be a long hard road for many women but it is worth it as I am still hearing from women that were in my group about all the positive experiences they are still having. A good portion of the women were abused as children and chose people who were like the abuser in their childhood. Others who were not abused were able to work through their issues sometimes faster then those had been abuse as children. Needless to say, they have a good support group and friends something that many never had before. Some of these women still are friends and support each other even ten years later.

Very gratifying and astonishing to see what they have accomplish in the years since they were in group. Very happy productive women who have helped countless others.

Answer 2

Yes, it sounds like you might have some PTSD. I went thru some similar stuff. I suffered from depression prior to my experiences, but the abuse just exacerbated it so that I was suicidal. I had panic attacks sometimes as well. For awhile, I was even hearing voices. I was put on a whole bunch of drugs (none of which worked, but now I've found something that is OK), and therapy. Having the support of my friends and family helped A LOT. Keeping busy with work and school was extremely helpful. Really, it's a matter of time and being able to keep busy to not dwell on things. The therapy I had at the time didn't really help too much. My "therapy" was school: I studied sociology and political science, so I would do papers and learn as much as I could.

Answer 3

Yes....I too suffer PTSD. Some symptoms are nightmares, body goes into fight or flight, you startle very easily, etc. I was emotionally abused while I watched everyone in my house be physically abused from the time I was an infant. I also had a bf when I was young who beat me - but I too broke up with him (stalker type) I don't know how you ever truly get over it. In my mind & heart I have forgiven my father (he was mentally ill) and I know he did the best he could with the cards he was dealt.....I also lost a baby son which was extremely traumatic and have forgiven the drs. who misdiagnosed him. However, my problem is is that my physical body does not cooperate with my mind. I always seem to be in that "fight or flight" response and therefore am always tense. I have spoken to the dr about this and I too take valium....but I don't want to have to rely on drugs to keep me calm.....

I exercise 3x a week to get the knots of out of my body and have turned to self-realization books to keep me grounded and my perspectives straight. My dr. also suggested deep breathing/meditation as it actually changes the patterns in your brain. So I'll deep breathe when really tense. Close eyes, breathe in through ur nose slowly until you completely expand your lungs, hold for 10 secs, breathe out slowly through your mouth for 10 secs.

Hope this helps at least somewhat.....just know you are not alone.

Answer 4

I actually endured 8 yrs of abuse from a husband who was later D'xed as paranoid schizophrenic. I escaped with my little girl and never remarried again! I went into therapy and took out government loans for graduate school. I'm sure it's a form of PTSD, but back in "my day" it wasn't labeled as such. I was just a "neurotic" in those days.---You were so WISE to get away from that guy!!! I stayed because we had a little girl. Finally escaped, literally, with her when she was 5yrs old. I raised her on my own, worked and studied my way to health!! Having my daughter, too, was a "reason" I HAD to function and succede sp? She is now a strong successful y. woman married and with her own family.

Answer 5

Yes when my husband and i first got married he had a super bad temper and i would work and come home late and he would knock me into a wall or pick me up and choke me as he had friends and family telling him i was cheating and i wasnt i was working. well we went to marriage counseling for 2 yrs and he is a new man, and he found god and so that makes him a new man. we put god first in our life and we go to him with our problems and feelings and he helps us work it out with words and scripture not fists and walls. what u are experiencing is traumatic stress disorder and u need to seek counseling and guidance and help with this problem before it gets out of hand...

Answer 6

You have it lucky, it's not a family member, you could leave.

fear, denial...if it was bad, repression(can't remember it). Talking helps. Exersize and musuc help. Actuly,, i have a CD in now