my 14 year old son wants to live with his dad but his stepmom is a drunk..my son never wanted to go to his dads house until they bought him a 4 wheeler..now i cant get him to come home...he is only 7 miles away but i am so worried about him...his step mom is crazy and if taken to court she would be proven unfit...but my question is can my son decide this??i know my ex husbands motive is to lower child support if he gets one of the kids..i feel like he is trying to buy my son .....
2007-08-13 02:08:02 · 20 answers · asked by lisa p 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Fourteen year old kids can be bought -as you well know by now.
Absolutely NOT would I allow him to live on a permanent bases with a drunk. His Dad has a right to see his son , but not to expose him to danger -of any kind!
Don't be a pal to your young son , he needs a good strong Mom to lay down the rules,and to enforce limits on how much time you are willing to allow him to be exposed to there situation.
You are the mom . Now you need to be strong and put your foot down.
2007-08-13 02:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by Bemo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In most states yes when a child turns 12 they can decide which parent they want to live with. You would have to prove that the stepmother is unfit to be around your son and if you can do that then they might prevent the child from going to live with his father. However the judge will consider what the child wants.
2007-08-13 02:36:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you know what Colleen O. would say...
"Why didn't you know that before you married your husband, that you two would soon be divorced and he would turn around and remarry a drunk.
What's wrong with you? The handwriting's on the wall.
She is probably crazy because she has to deal with the husband that you corrupted before she came in the picture.
They bought your son a 4 Wheeler? I bet he's a spoiled brat.
Just like you.
My daughter Shannon isn't spoiled. She was a perfect child, just like I'm the perfect mother."
Sorry to make light of your situation, but I just couldn't resist.
Besides, she will probably be around soon to tell you what's so wrong in your life and everyone else's.
2007-08-13 05:34:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, yes. A 14 yr old can choose where he wants to live unless you prove the father and stepmother as an unfit household. You would have to do that and then he wouldn't get the choice. But then you have a 14 yr old that hates you. Sounds like a lose lose situation:( so sorry!
2007-08-13 02:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by paganmom26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what state you are in I believe once an adolescent turns 13 he can decide where he wants to live, but since you are the natural mother and have legal rights you can go to court about this and prove he/she are unfit parents then you get custody. Remember that courts that deal with custody, children, etc. usually favor moms.
2007-08-13 03:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that at 14 your son knows whta he wants and what he feels is best. If that is where he wants to be, then let him try it out. He can always come back to you, if he changes his mind.
As for his step-mom, don't worry about her so much. You're not the one that has to live with her, and if your son wants to then thats his choice.
I know it must feel awful, but hes your son...not hers, and you should never feel that she needs to be proven "fit" as a mother. She isn't one. You are. He knows that, believe me. I was 14 when my parents split up.
2007-08-13 02:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it to court, and let the judge know that you have proof that your ex husband wants to lower child support, and that his stepmom is a drunk. also look up Lifetime movies (i think) and watch Gracie's Choice. the mom's a drunk, dad either died or left, and the high schooler is tryin 2 get custody of her 3 younger brothers.
2007-08-13 10:23:38 · answer #7 · answered by ♫Wolf♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Your son can decide to go live with his father.
My dad is always trying to get out of child support with me, & my 3 others siblings who have a diffrent mother than me. He even quit his job (Building Ford cars making $27 an hour) to try & get disibility so he won't have to pay so much child support. I think it's a bunch of BS but, thats just how he is.
I very sorry about your situation, I'd never want to go live my dead beat dad.
Good-Luck!
2007-08-13 02:15:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. He should be old enough to understand that bribes will turn out bad sooner or later just like the 4 wheeler will! Tell him he is old enough to understand that he can choose which parent to stay with BUT you will ask him for the reasons on a list of piece of paper and you tell him if the reason are good or not!
2007-08-13 02:36:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I chose who I wanted to live with at 7...but only because my parents left the choice up to me. Seeing as his step mom is unfit, it's up to you as his mother to keep him in the healthiest environment for him. If need be, go to court and have her proven unfit.
2007-08-13 02:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋