I have 2 sisters in law. One no longer speaks to my husband, the other sister or their dad. The mom is deceased - she held the family together. When she died last year, everything went a little crazy.
The other sister is 36 years old and does not work. She lives with the dad and takes most of his money to spend on fancy haircuts and clothes. She is living in a fantasy world and we are concerned what will happen to her when the dad passes. He is already 74 years old.
My question is, this sister in law who doesn't work has ignored me for most of the 4 years that I've been with her brother. Suddenly, she is determined to be my friend...but I am not interested. This is something that should've been done a few years ago - in my eyes, the connection has been lost and I have no means of opening that door again.
This woman always has an ulterior motive, she is moody and there are times when she totally ignores me and my husband, is rude to us, and virtually untrustworthy. Help
2007-08-13 02:05:21 · 12 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just want to add that my husband does not like this sister, they have never gotten along and he doesn't trust her.
2007-08-13 02:18:28 · update #1
Keep the doors closed, she has an alterior motive for what she is doing, dont let yourself or your husband get dragged into it.
2007-08-13 02:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband's family has some deep rooted problems. Since she has shown in the past that she can't be trusted, I would be very cautious. She is probably worried about her future also, so she is trying to open a channel to you and your husband.
I would only talk to her enough to make sure your father in law isn't being neglected.
2007-08-13 09:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by mama4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen,you don't have to kiss up to people who have agendas that aren't good.You do have an obligation to be honest and straight forward.The reasons you don't want to be involved with certain people should be made clear.You don't have to be nasty but the reasons you've given should be heard by the persons the words are meant for.People need to know where you stand.Then if these people want to be a part of your life they will know that you will not tolerate certain behaviors around you.Now if your father in law passes and he will and the sister doesn't have a means of support then she will have to grow up won't she??????
2007-08-13 09:17:53 · answer #3 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason why you cannot be cordial with this woman. What goes on in your father-in-law's house is none of your business. If he allows his daughter to live rent free, that's between him and her. If she has ulterior motives and is moody, you can keep that in mind when you're dealing with her. You don't have to be best friends, but you can certainly treat her with relative kindness.
You are too deep in this family's business and you need to stop it. Be a loving wife and keep your own house clean. And stop carrying gossip about your husband's family!
2007-08-13 09:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How does your husband feel about this? If it were me, I'd be very careful of how I react to this sister in law, she could be a very big problem. Also, your husband might want to look into dad's finances if possible. If sister in law is using his money for her gains and ignoring the dad, there could be abuse going on.
2007-08-13 09:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by WVPV07 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is having a change of heart. Family IS family....slowly open the door, be on your guard and let her get back in touch slowly. Everyone is allowed to a second chance, specially your blood.
2007-08-13 09:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister in law's future isn't your problem....
when the father dies, well, she's going to have to figure out how to survive.
families seem to have problems sometimes after the death of a loved one, such as a mom... i know after my mother died, so did our family ties.
if you don't want to be your sister in law's friend, let her know you feel you have nothing in common except her brother, and you're not interested in becoming close friends. it's the truth.
2007-08-13 09:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth. I have this issue with my father in law (he's just an @ss) I had to tell him point blank that I married his son, not him. This should work for you too.
2007-08-13 09:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by Brandi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, she's trying to be your friend now, regardless of the reason, and it's sort of your obligation to be nice to her she is your sister-in-law and if you love your husband your going to want to be good to his family. I say just try to be her friend.
2007-08-13 09:12:02 · answer #9 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep a distance from her. never talk to her whats in your heart when you guys meet just say hi hello to her and when she is rude with you guys tell her about it at the every moment
2007-08-13 09:14:55 · answer #10 · answered by freind 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋