Are you judgmental?

Question

I was taught that being judgmental is wrong. What if those judgments are flattering or positive in some way. I guess I shouldn't be judging you.

Your thoughts.

Answer 1

Truth be told, most people are judgmental. I think it's part of what makes us who we are, and part of what makes us friends with some kinds of people and not with others. So there is a good side to some amount of being judgmental.

What's the bad part?

Basically the bad part is that sometimes being judgmental can make us form opinions about people more quickly than we should, and sometimes we lose out on getting to know someone that might actually be a decent person.

I consider myself to be an understanding person. I may not agree with your lifestyle, but that doesn't mean I'm going to shut you off because of it. I won't hide my opinions, because to do so would be untrue, but I won't walk away from you the moment I see something I don't like. Remember, I said, "I consider myself". Others may disagree.

The funny thing about being judgmental is that it's a two-edged sword. Is it possible to judge someone who you think is judging you? Can we be intolerant of someone who we feel is intolerant? It's one of those questions that keeps us all on our toes, and should.

To anyone whom I may offend with my honesty and forthrightness, I apologize. If it appears I've judged you, and you feel it is a false judgment, bear with me, I may come around yet.

Remember, judgment is a good thing. It keeps us from making some decisions that we shouldn't, and it keeps us from interacting with people that we shouldn't. The trick is to not make that judgment too quickly.

I've noticed that on the Internet things seem to move much more quickly. In the real world friendships may take weeks, months, or years to develop, but on the Internet it's not unusual to consider someone a friend after only a few hours of chatting. You can also count someone out as a friend in that amount of time, and that's where I see a problem. Snap judgments are the worst kind, and can lead to decisions we later regret. Learn to give things time and thought, and learn to judge, and then question your judgment to see if it's right. If you need to, change your initial judgment.

One final thought: Opinions and judgments are the fabric of who we are. They make us like a certain food and dislike others, have a favorite color and movie, and like some actors better than others, but remember that all things change with time, and nothing is set in stone.

Answer 2

Let's say you have 2 best friends - all three of you have been best friends for a long time...years. One day you find out through someone else that your two friends are no longer speaking...that they had a terrible fight over a VERY IMPORTANT MORAL ISSUE.

What do you do?

Stop here and think about it. The scroll down....











If you say that you will just stay friends with both of them, or try to get them to be friends again, you are very wrong.

The correct answer is that you will do all you can to find out exactly what happened and make a judgement based on what you learn, Remember that this is a serious moral issue, not a fight over where you can get the best pizza.

You owe it to the side that was hurt to find out the truth and act on what you find out.

Let's say you find out that friend #1 told a bunch of lies about Friend #2 and caused friend #2 to lose a fantastic job because friend #1 was jealous. Or that friend #1 seduced and had sex with friend #2's husband.

Do you treat them equally and stay friends with both? If you do, you have betrayed the friend that was wronged and sanctioned the behavior of the friend that did a horrible thing.

What if you were in the shoes of the friend that was horribly wronged and your third friend stayed friends with both you and the friend that slept with your husband, or got you fired? Would you be OK with that? Or would it feel like a slap in the face?

Yes, I am judgmental. This world would be a much better place if everyone were judgmental - passing judgment is actually a virtue - the virtue of justice.

You have to draw conclusions about people. Would you want a child molestor babysitting your kids? No? Why not? Would you want to open your home to anyone that wanted to come in off the street? No? Why not?

Moral judgment is critical - if you refuse to either praise the good or condem the evil, you are betraying the good and encouraging the evil.

Be careful in making a judgent, though. Get all the facts, carefully consider the situation. Think about the OJ trial. Don't make casual judgments.

All those people who don't want anyone to pass judgment...I wonder why. Passing careful judgment, Good or bad (and passing judgment on good is really important, too) is so very important.

Please don't slap good in the face by giving a free pass to evil.

Answer 3

Judging others is no different than judging an inanimate object of utility or otherwise... and that is where the issue is... we have no RIGHT to judge any other individuals, but judging their actions without attributing motives need not make one feel guilty... at least that is what my view is... an objective assessment of actions rather than the people themselves is the right way of being judgmental.... by the way, judgment is a second nature of intelligence and hence we can never get rid of it.

Answer 4

If you're human you're judgmental. Even if it is for the greater good and not due to prejudice. The key to being "non judgmental" is to not exercise you're judgments on others with ill intent. Someone could say their beliefs are righteous when yours are wrong, but that doesn't mean they are. The way to calm or quiet you're judgments of others is to not let that inner feeling consume you're beliefs and you're outward approach to others. To have an opinion is making a judgment, however, learning that others beliefs are just as valuable and just as meaningful as your beliefs you can be free of ill judgment and the world can be a happier place for all.

Answer 5

Prejudging is wrong no matter what the content of the judgement is because you simply don't know that person/thing/being. However, some people may argue something "within you" gives that judgement like an intuiton and you should listen to it. Some say within 10 seconds of meeting someone you make a suconcious judgement. But I beleive we should not give in to suh circular reasoning and be rational. It makes sense not to prejudge someone before knowing them well. You are the boss of deciding when you think you have known the person well enough but not the boss of who they are or what they are like with nothing but a slice of their physical appearance and demeanor.

Answer 6

It all depends.
I believe we're all judgmental in a certain way.But,some people tend to be prejudice.You can have positive thoughts towards someone else.
I believe being judgmental is wrong when it comes towards fully judging someone without even knowing them the wrong way like stereotyping.
For Example:

Jennifer: Ew,look at that lonely girl over there.
Sara:Yeah,maybe we should talk to her.
Jennifer:No way,can't you see she's wearing all black and looks scary she must like worship like the devil or something.
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|You see,in that case that would be wrong judgmental.and yes,it is very wrong.I should know,I get people at school thinking I'm a creep just by the way I look without getting to know me.|So,in the end it all depends.But,I rather getting to know the person first regardless if it's having good or bad judgmental thoughts within the other person.It's always good to get to know someone.

Answer 7

Actually, I find judgmental people interesting as well as educational. To tell the absolute truth, we are ALL “judgmental” in our own way… That’s how we figure out who the nut-jobs are. (at least the way I see 'it')

Answer 8

being judgemental is sort of wrong but it depends on the type of person you are judging on before you judge someone talk to them to see how they feel because they might have a nice personality one that you haven't seen yet. I Don't Judge people by silly things like weight it depends on their personality that predicts whether they should be judged or not

Answer 9

Its bad to be judgemental but everyone does it ...............

Never spit up as the saying goes always be humble........
People have no right to tell others how to live their lives when they should look at their own lives and situations.............

I see it all the time and it gets me angry people always just want something to say about another to make their insecurities go away and their mistakes............its wrong its always wrong!!!

I am only judgmental when someone gets me angry but then again I think we can all be on this....

Answer 10

Sure. Trying not to be, though.
Everybody has the right to change, to shift, to evolve. I do hope I do. Not judging (at least too much) is letting people space to be and to grow. I guess we all need to learn to cope with some amount of judging.