Hi there, my wife and I had our first baby 4 months ago and I love both her and my little boy to death. The problem is that since she had our little boy she hasnt been so good in bed because shes really open and not very tight so it doesnt feel very good for me and after a while I lose interest. I really love my wife and I dont want to upset her or hurt her feelings but she needs to do some of those exercises to tighten herself back up, because its not good for me the way she is which means I am not making her feel the way she should be feeling. So how do I explain that to her with out coursing a fight and hurting her feelings
2007-08-13 00:11:28 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nothing like being selfish, is there???
and if you'd passed something the size of a bowling ball, you'd be a little loose too!!! TRY IT!!!
get her to practice squeezing her PC muscle... called the pelvic floor exercise... you do it too..
2007-08-13 00:17:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Congratulations on your baby!
Firstly, it has only been 4 months after birth and your wifes body will not be how it was before in a number of ways. All births wether natural or c-section, the body needs at least 6 months to heal and to start to get back to the way it was.
Your wife will not be running around with the baby yet and therefore those muscles will not be contracting with bending and standing however at around 6 months you should notice a difference down there especially when your son is crawling/walking.
Perhaps you could suggest some physio to her and this will include the bits about re-tightening the muscles down there or you could just put it lightly and let her know for both of your pleasure you would like her to do the tightening excersises.
2007-08-13 07:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by Krysteena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those exercises are called Kegels or pelvic floor exercises, which she should be doing anyway to keep her mucsles strong and avoid problems with urination control later in life. But in the meantime, keep in mind that 4 months is not that long of a healing time, it will get better. Use a lot of fore-play that will cause her muscles to tense and relax. Have some times when you don't even have intercourse but just "play" a bit.
Remember to help her by taking baby for an hour or two in the evening so that she can go walking or to the gym. All exercise will help her regain her prebaby shape and tone, but take it froma pro, she can't do it alone!
And if none of these work, there is a cream that you can get called Tighten Up that works for short term. It is available in most Adult toy stores and online.
2007-08-13 07:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before i read all the blasts you will get for this, i will answer, then read all your answers...
first, she has had a baby...alot of changes take place in her body for this to happen, and things do "tighten up" if you dont get her pregnant right away.
second, just bring it up when she is in a good mood. (she does get in a good mood, right??) be careful, not to make her sound like a "loose goose"...just be tactful. only you know how to talk to your wife about these things.
third, ever heard of using a cube or two of ice? yes, i am serious. it will make things "draw" up...kinda kinky, too. try that a time or two. i am sure you can use your imagination on the ice thing...just a cube, or two, not the whole tray!!
2007-08-13 07:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi...After reading your story...what I understand is that you both don't have the understanding to each other...and you or your wife never speak or discuss anything openly.let me ask you this..For what you are waiting for ? . if you are really in love with your wife and vice versa definitely she would help you.,in the sense to rectifies it....cause sex between the spouse is the base / foundation of a successful marriage...each time you make love (consent)...what you are getting is PURE LOVE.. from her ... you are also doing the same to her.
To be very frank with you ..I don't think by doing any exercise she could tight her ...better please don't hesitate to consult a lady doctor / Gynaecologist to get her a small surgery ..lasting less than one hour..., and it could save your marriage too...,
2007-08-13 08:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by 2bros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you just talk to your wife. Tell her, "I love you and the baby and I wouldn't trade either of you for anything. Maybe it is because I am small, but do women ever regain their tightness after having a baby? I hope so because since you had our baby, sex is very hard and not near as enjoyable for me."
2007-08-13 07:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh if my husband posted something like this on the internet i'd be crushed!!!! she just had a baby so u can't just expect everything to go straight back to normal and have u stopped to think that it would feel different for her too? there is no "nice" way to tell her something like this.
2007-08-13 08:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to use a dash of lime juice and salt in a bowl of warm water to wash her intimate part in a few days the result would be apparent.
2007-08-13 07:21:29 · answer #8 · answered by talktofarry 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
write her a letter explaining the same thing you stated above, and make sure you arent there when she reads it. the exercises she needs to do are call keigel exercises. another thing is maybe you all need to try different position this helps too...remember to buy her some flowers, and appoligize in the letter and to her face to face....
good luck
peachez
2007-08-13 07:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Until she regains her muscle tone, there is a cream that you can buy at adult toy stores that tightens.
2007-08-13 07:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋