I've read that love is a need and a crush is a want. This is exactly how I feel about my situation. I have a crush on a man 20 years my senior who I work with, I would never want anything serious to happen with him and don't ever imagine that but do have a real crush on this person but its purely a lust thing.
On the other hand I need, desire, love and want my husband very much and I know its only the 'newness' of this other person giving me attention that I lust after.
I would never act on my feelings towards this person, although I find it hard not to (again purely a lust/sexual thing - I've always been like this!).
How do I get rid of this crush? I know I can't scratch the itch so how else do I encourage it to fade quicker than it will eventually anyway? I don't want to be in the situation where I do something I regret.
2007-08-12 23:07:01 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's hard isn't it? Gawd I dunno, limiting your contact with this guy? Yeah I agree with thinking about his negative points. Not being alone with him....which I find effective because I feel stupid in front of other people at work, which is enough to encourage me to stay away from him at work. I blush and get flustered and I'm worried about everyone elses reaction to my behaviour, which then makes me think about their reaction if anything ever eventuated. Good luck
2007-08-12 23:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by Nati 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1st up love isnt a need its just a fact 2ndly you've done this before? you stated "I've always been like this! " you also said " On the other hand I need, desire, love and want my husband very much " you cant love him very much if your capable to crush on another man who is older then you
I have to ask what was your relationship with your dad like ? was he there for you a lot ? and do you think that maybe this older man is the father figure you miss?
you work with this man so quitting probably isnt an option but if it is an option without your husband quizing you to much I'd quit and get away from him , either way you need to look deep within and ask yourself why you feel you need to have lustful emotions over someone who isnt your husband your insecure or lonely or missing something emotionally that you think this man could fill it isnt right its wrong you know it and you know the consequences of it if anything happens if you dont just read the Q n A's in this section and see the hurt it causes .....
anyway good luck I am hoping you do whats right for your husband
2007-08-13 06:18:25 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called physical attraction and it's as natural as the sun rising. You'll feel it again with other men. Just recognize it for what it is. Don't do anything impulsive, consider the inevitable consequences of inappropriate behavior (i.e. one or two wrecked marriages, kids left with a single, bitter parent, STDs, etc.). Probably the best way to rid yourself quickly is to do something extra for your husband, maybe some role playing, sexy lingerie, you see where I'm going. Your husband will love it and probably help you get your mind off the older fellow.
2007-08-13 06:31:42 · answer #3 · answered by countrygent07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, Done that!
You need to occupy your mind with something else, try thinking about your husband when you see him. If you can't change your job it's even tougher, You need to remind yourself again and again that you love your husband. He's THE ONE, you chose him. Go out more often, have long romantic nights, make love more. You will get over this, trust me.
2007-08-13 06:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by Rahima Liverpool 4 life 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are already in a situation which is terribly wrong.. Get control of yourself. What are your priorities in your life? Once you have answered that, abide by the values attached to it.. Be strong and don't ever think of being unfaithful to your husband
2007-08-13 06:59:30 · answer #5 · answered by AdultMale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you need to do is put yourself in your husband's position. How would you feel if he was crushing on someone behind you back? How would you feel if he betrayed your trust? When you get married, you take vows for a reason. Did you forget what you promised?
2007-08-13 06:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people spend more time with the people they work with than the people they love . if you realize your mate is more important than the infatuation , you just have to shake it off . enjoy the man as a friend and a co worker . it's ok . just remember that your home and family is not worth jeopardizing . if you get to feeling itchy , wait till you get home to scratch .
2007-08-13 06:22:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't fight it!!! Since you've already determined that it begins and ends with just a crush, then there's no harm that's going to happen. If you are really sure that you're not going to act on it, then enjoy your fantasies.
2007-08-13 07:07:23 · answer #8 · answered by Wala Lang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask GOD to give the strength to fight your uncontrollable passion for this other man and to make your heart pure for your husband. In time, GOD will answer you and these feelings will pass. I'll pray for you. Good luck and GOD bless.
2007-08-16 17:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
icrush is ssome thing that would fade away but love is forever.
try having sex withe ur husband then u'll have a crush on ur husband and evrybody will live happly ever after.
2007-08-13 06:57:42 · answer #10 · answered by maya me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋