What do I do with my cheating wife?

Question

My wife and I have been married for three years. We are both twenty six years old. I noticed her and a close friend of ours were starting to become closer last year. Long story short, she was seeing this guy behind my back. I became irate and she told me she loved him, but she said she alson loves me. I moved out to collect my thoughts for a couple of weeks and eventually went back home. We are the type to party pretty hard on weekends which to me seems to add to the problems. She has apologized and says she won't ever do it again. She also says that she never loved him and that she was just confused and mad at me. Im trying to regain trust because I do love her. We dont have kids....Thank God. I just get so pissed but I dont want to turn overbearing. What do I do?

Answer 1

I am glad for you that there are no children involved seems you've already decided to give her another go so dont expect the trust to just magically re-appear trust is earnt its not a right she broke your trust claimed to love another and then when she realised the grass wasnt greener on the other side she came crawling back to you stating she was confused and angry at you? why is she angry at you? did you cheat on her 1st? the only way not to turn into a monster and throw this in her face every chance you get is to go to counciling dont be mr macho and say we dont need it your the victim and she's the person who stuffed up if you dont vent you will turn this into the biggest battle of your life good luck

Answer 2

Well may I make a suggestion that perhaps you both find something alittle more to do on weekends then party hard? I mean you are a couple couldnt you find some couple things to develop a closer tie together? Do you have to party so hard every weekend? Why did you both bother to get married then just stay single. You arent helping your situation at all. It is not a good sign that your wife cheats so early in your relationship at all, but I do not think you are going to help that marriage if you continue like this. Why not party once a month and the rest of the time you both go play sports, or go camping, or do whatever you both enjoy and which brought you both together other then just partying. Try it it could develop a closer bond. If your wife refuses to give up the partying it seems she and maybe you havent matured enough to really take your relationship too seriously. And if you both dont give it up on weekends I give your marriage a much lower chance of it working period. I am sorry but I am not so much attacking your wife here at all. You do not mention what you have done in this relationship to have this problem at all. Of course all the people here are going to attack her and say she is a whore etc. But people do cheat and alot of relationships improve and heal. But be a man and ask yourself have I respected this woman? Do I make her see that I love her. You are giving us a biased angle. And all the people are shaking their heads and saying oh God get rid of her. But the truth is ask yourself what kind of husband am I to her? For the most part women usually do not cheat unless there is something very very wrong. Yes there are some women who cheat for their ego and for those yes its wrong and leave her but for the most part I find women cheat because of internal pain in their relationship. Do not judge her so quickly.

Answer 3

Okay, just to make sure I have this straight--SHE cheated on you, with your "friend" and YOU are worried about being over bearing!!! Grow some balls buddy!

And I am not saying that to be mean or nasty. Set some very firm guidelines in place. Limit your partying to once a month, especially if it involves tripping or rolling. Stand up for yourself and maske sure that you give her someone to respect, then make sure that she respects you! There is nothing wrong with being the man and wearing the pants in the family. Go ahead, be overbearing for while. She is the one who messed up, not you. Put her butt on a short leash for a while until she can earn back a portion of your trust.

However, while doing all of the above, make sure that you both communicate--that means talking and listening, even writing letters to each other if that is easier.

Answer 4

Okay, she might not cheat with this guy again, but what about the next guy, somebody at her work, or the neighbour or whomever pays some extra attention to her? She sounds like a game player to me. Or take a look at yourself and see if you are giving her what she needs. Most women won't cheat on a man if she is satisfied with him. I guess I am saying just watch her for awhile. Maybe she is too young to settle down.

Answer 5

Depends whether you can live with the fact she has cheated on you and might cheat again. If you are willing to give her another chance you should. Personally I wouldn't. But this is about you if you really love her and feel you can still trust her give it another go but don't let it happen again.
I'd try do something about the partying if it is making things worse like going together or just once every two weeks something like that.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Total privacy = total intimacy, this is how I could say this, well in marriage their are trials and this is one of them, I suggest you forgive her and accept her again and start over but this time you need to know whats missing with you, you need to spend more time with your wife and don't let other spend more time with her than you. You should guard your marriage soon you might be the one with another woman if your not careful. Better yet learn to love what you wife loves and love her even more, hard?? yeah your right but you will benefit in the end.

Answer 7

She's done it before, and WILL do it again if you let her... I know many want to forgive and forget, but what happens the next time she gets mad at you? - That's right, she'll be sleeping with someone else again, and you will be hurt even worse.
You should NEVER allow yourself to be disrespected like that. Have the courage and self worth to throw this woman to the curb so that she and others out there realize that cheating isn't a game anymore. You deserve a REAL WOMAN, not some whore who uses her body to get what she wants in life.

Answer 8

Obviously, distance seems to put things back in perspective for her. If you start to feed her with a long spoon, then maybe she'll prove herself because she doesn't want to loose you. Keep your eyes opened and give her enough rope and the truth will come out.When she starts feeling the pressure of you not cataring to her or not feeling the love she'll have to sh_t or get off the pot.

Answer 9

R U kidding me dude. Her excuse is not an excuse. No one can promise they will never cheat, let alone cheat again. Those chances are slim to none. For starters.

Why did you get married to begin with, do you not listen to Tom Leykus on the radio. if not you better start b4r you do something really dum.

How sure R U that she is not with him anymore. Please young man you need to rethink your values and what you want out of life. If goes too quick and you do not want to end up with child support and spousal support.

Answer 10

You are better then I am to try again. That would be hard. I think you are doing the right thing by not trying to be overbearing as well. Honestly not for her, but for you, it's a lot of work to babysit a ******* stupid **** cheating whore who you can't trust for ****. However if you are going to try again, you have to try 100% wich it looks like you are doing. Or you would just question if you did right anyways. You sound smart as hell honestly and you seem to be on the right track and have honestly already made your decision.