always unhappy?

Question

i have been with my husband for almost 5 years. and no matter what good things happen no matter what things he does for me, it always seems like he is always doing something that I HATE! and i cant help but wonder why...b/c lately ive kinda wondered what it would be like to be with someone else...he has been my only serious love...and only lover. And i simply dont feel the same anymore. I dont have that "in love/sparks" feeling with or about him...WHY!!!!

Answer 1

It is natural that relationships have peaks and valleys. Five years is a pretty good amount of time... the honeymoon is over and if you are like most couples you have fallen into a comfortable rut where you don't spend the right amount of time together to keep that spark alive and well. When I was dating my wife I used to spend 2 hours driving each way so that I could see her for a few hours on Sunday's... we got to a point after a few years of marriage where she and I would be in the same house, two rooms away from each other as we both watched the same TV show in different rooms. If everything your man does is getting on your nerves then I suggest that you try to reconnect with the person that you fell in love with and spend some time together. I bet if you shake things up a bit you will rekindle some of those sparks. Communication is the best way to solve any problem... and if you keep your feelings to yourself, or only post them here, you rob your husband of the chance of helping to improve your marriage. Good Luck.

Answer 2

u need to start a spark urself... remember y u married him in the first place... remember what attracted u to him...

it is not easy being single, divorced, or lonely... and guess what if u start a new relationship w/ someone else 5 years down the line u will be right where u r now... it's a natural marriage situation. now is where the work begins... keeping a marriage is not easy but it is worth keeping...

there will always be things about him that annoy u...
u just have to decide whether or not it's worth bitching about...
choose ur fights, the ones that aren't worth arguing about u should accept as part of his personality... of coarse both of u will not see eye to eye on all subjects... i'm sure he thinks u have some annoying habits as well. 5 years isn't long enough to say u tried, give ur marriage a chance... try a marriage counselor or go talk to an elder family member that has had a long marriage.

u r at the moment where u both r getting comfortable w/ each others idiosyncrasies...
again i say maybe u need to start a spark yourself...

Answer 3

I wonder if you have a job??? what do you do on daily bases? sometimes it is just matter of getting yourself occupated, but sometimes could be more than that...maybe your husband is actually doing the things you hate on purpose or maybe you just don't love him anymore....when you said you wonder what would be like being with someone else...you meant have you meet someone and you have thought about him like in a relationship?? you are the only one who knows what is going on in your life that make you feel that way...but am going to tell you something, your life is precious and one little mistake can mess up your life, so think very well before make a decision and if your heart tells you to leave, you would know that is the right thing to do...you will find the answer in yourself and when you finally get it, you will get peace of mind!!!

Answer 4

Did you honestly think those sparks would last forever? That only happens on tv hon. In the real world the sparks come and go and our love fluctuates as well.

The ones who last a lifetime are the ones who decide they love their spouse and are devoted to them alone. They are the ones that chase away thoughts of infidelity, keep themselves out of messy situations. The ones who when they think bad thoughts about their spouse turn around and do something nice for them. They are the ones who give expecting nothing and don't believe there is a way out of marriage besides death.

If you are unhappy it is because you have chosen to be unhappy. He can't change that unless you want to be happy.

So decide... did you make vows to keep them or are you someone who breaks promises and destroys families because you are so stuck on you.

Answer 5

Maybe your getting the 7 year itch early! Married life is hard, and most times your spouse drives you nuts! But it doesn't matter who your with at some point they will make you mad unhappy or the sparks will just fizzle. You have to put the sparks back into the relationship if you really want it to work!

Answer 6

you are realising now that you are in a more permanent relation and is only common to think of times with another. but these are not times to go through trouble of diviorce. Talk with him more hint some ideas of things you would like. be carful not to force a decison on him as this will only agrivate him. Common ground is good things to have find stuff you both can be interested something has part of your likes and part of his like. Now that your married those sparks will disperse but time is needed for the flame of longing love to ignite.

Answer 7

if u feel like that maybe u should tell him because there is no reason to b spending ur time with a man that u do not have feelings for when u can b spending that time with some one else that u actually like or want to get to no so u r going to have to let him down easy and it will b hard but u gotta do what u gotta do so i wish u the best of luck

Answer 8

It is not with your husband but with YOU. You need to find peace with yourself and learn to love yourself FIRST. You can't possibly have the ability to love ANYONE if you don't learn to love yourself first.

Trust me, DON'T leave your husband, because, if you do, you will fall in the same trap again and asking yourself the same questions, why don't I love him, I hate everything he does.

You need to look inside yourself and find some hobbies or activities to keep your mind occupied and remember why you love your husband from the beginning. Learn to love yourself and then you will start to love your husband again.

Please don't give up. Marriage can be a wonderful thing.
My grandmother told me and I will never forget it. There will be times you don't love him but you must always be committed.
This too shall pass sweety and this is coming for my grandmother who never divorced and was happy with herself.

Love yourself and many good things will follow.

Answer 9

Read "5 Love Languages of Married Couples" Major insight. You can get it at the Library. Might be worth your time.

Answer 10

maybe u just tired of the same thing & u ready to see something new, or u should tell him how u feel and see what happens and if ur still not happy then baby its time to go