i am giving him divorce,he cheated,i can not forgive him,no regrets,lot of pain,but why do i need to hear that he paid for what he caused me?why do i feel i want to let him suffer?why do i even wish his heart should be broken,i really don t and won t take him back but i only wish he would have a broken heart, am i crazy??????
2007-08-12 19:20:04 · 22 answers · asked by mony y 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you're just feeling angry at yourself because you wanted it to work out. He's hiding it and he wanted it to work out too. Guys put up a facade. don't be fooled by that. He's prob. miserable. My suggestion is don't burn your bridge. Its just not kind or healthy.
2007-08-12 19:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by Walter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural human being character.... if somebody does something to you which really hurt, you want to repay him.
This not going to be a nice answer... The feeling you have will never be satisfied... you only will feel more emptiness and your life will be lead by your thoughts how to get too him.
You can deal with that feeling, by let what happened behind and start over go and find your own new path. Let love come back in your heart.
You are saying you don't want him back... but you do care... other wise you would know that you hurt him by leaving him and you can do much better on your own.
Anyway it's a difficult situation with lot's of pain. I am happy that my girl wanted to try again after 3 years.... I suffered not being with her over that period. And people can change... love can make people change :- )
2007-08-13 03:08:23 · answer #2 · answered by John Th 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, your just normal.
I remember when I was much younger, and the girl I had been with for a few years cheated on me and then left me. We lived together and (no children) went through the whole dissection of property and bills and so forth, like a married couple. It took me a very long time to get over her, she had really done a number on me. I used to wish I could somehow make her feel the pain I felt, so that she would at least fully understand just what she did.
Just remember, even if you don't want to move on, you will, and all will once again feel right in your world. Keep your chin up.
2007-08-13 02:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by rushmore223 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not crazy, this is just a normal feeling.
This is how broken hearted people feels. If he tremendously made you feel bad, and cheated for this relationship then he's not the right person for you. Don't do revenge. It will only make things worst, and you'll feel worst doing it. Revenge isn't the answer to your problems. If you need some time to heal, then do so. If he's willing to change, make him change if he loves you, and willing not to cheat again. If you have to go to counsellor to try to make your relationship better then go for it. But that's just my suggestion. I hope this helps.
2007-08-13 02:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by danny_69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not crazy. He cut ya deep. Its a big betrayal, cheating. Just keep in mind it's usually done by people who are insecure.Since the relationship isn't repaired but ending in divorce (dont blame you), you've suffered a double whammy. Vent to a close friend who will be supportive, or a counselor. Don't blame yourself for other people's mistakes and bad judgement.
2007-08-13 02:30:32 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not crazy. The thing is there is a fine line between love and hate. It's going to take time. You just can't choose to stop loving/hating a person. When your completely over him then your feelings of wanting him to suffer/revenge ect. will disappear.
2007-08-13 03:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you're NOT crazy to feel that.
It's normal to feel like that because you trusted him and pain is what he gave you in return!!
Don't worry you will get through this. Have faith! Life does not treat anyone as a pet! All of us pay for the wrong that we do and all of us get paid for the good that we do too.
He hurt you, at some point life will make him pay.
2007-08-13 02:26:57 · answer #7 · answered by Slite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is anger. You are experiencing one of the five stages of grief. It is normal.
Grief is a somewhat commplicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same.
There are five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. Thus there will be no healing. A person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. It is different for each person. You cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, ALL five stages must be completed for healing to occur.
The five stages of grief are:
1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.
2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.
3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.
4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.
5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.
Get help. You will survive. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can't stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to fascilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.
Hope this helps.
2007-08-13 02:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not crazy you just want him to feel the pain that he has caused you. He has made you suffer and you want him to feel what you feel. It is very normal.
2007-08-13 02:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by MZ. Latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She don't want you to suffer .She is a good person .Talk to her and explain how you feel ...Fix that problem 1st then see what happens... If you r crazy in love tell him or her. If not you should still talk about it to relieve the resentment ...
2007-08-13 02:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he seam like he felt bad for hurting you? If not, he probably doesn't care and will never care. Grieve for as long as you need to, but don't let it ruin your life. The best revenge is to let him see you happy. Let him see you enjoying your life, let him see that you are thinking of something else besides him. You'll be in my prayers!
2007-08-13 02:30:55 · answer #11 · answered by Fee-Fee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋