Husband complimenting wife?

Question

Is this just a "guy thing" or is it just my husband..... My husband does not understand that it's nice to give a compliment once in awhile.... like "you look beautiful" or some sexy comments during love making. He thinks that since he has said it at least once in the past, he should not have to say it again, and if he does, it means I don't believe him. I do NOT look for constant compliments nor do I "need" them. I just don't understand the way he feels. Serious replies please -- immature stupid comments, don't bother.

Thank you to everyone who answered. You all gave great answers, so I can't pick one "best" answer. I feel less alone now and feel bad for all of us who deal with this same situation. I guess men are truly from Mars and women are truly from Venus! =)

Answer 1

My hubby is the same way and I just don't get it. Then he says that he does but he doesn't. Grr! I guess thats why women have girl friends haha!

Answer 2

Sometimes we show affection in other ways that women don't understand other than words. I find if you're constantly trying to impress your girl by complimenting her than sometimes they might turn it around on you like well what do you think about that girl over there or do you think I look too big in these jeans. Guys are afraid of saying the wrong thing alot of the time so we rather say nothing. Someone posted that males are focused on the physicality of a relationship well someone once said that "actions speak louder than words". Just because you're not getting the compliment you want doesn't mean he feels any different about you. A nice smile or a wink should tell you something.

Answer 3

I believe i am one of the lucky ones. I fell in love with my now husband so fast because he Does pay me compliments. To this day, I have no clue how he got that way! I think maybe he learned this from his mom, i noticed that he never even rushes me when getting ready becasue he wants me to look my best. My suggestion to you is, Flat out tell your husband every once in a while it might be nice if you took the time to notice me and pass a compliment. I know what you mean about constant compliments, but everyone NEEDS to be complimented every once in a while. For example, if you get a new hair style, he should be aware of it and compliment it. My best friend dyed her hair and cut it and her husband never said a word... that's horrible! Point blank, seriously, tell him he needs to wake up and be aware! Good Luck

Answer 4

I compliment my man whenever i sincerely feel the need and he does the same back to me whenever. We dont exchange them but maybe you are expecting something from him that you arent giving to him. Why should he put in all that effort when you dont. This is just a suggestion you might do this and you just left it out. But if you dont, try it and see what happens. Maybe if he felt more loved and respected in this way he'd show you how much he loves and respects you. Good Luck!!! Also, I've only been with my boyfriend for a year and a half...it probably gets much harder to maintain the love and I'm aware of that but if you give it he'll probably give it back. Plus, you wont be thinking about him not saying it all the time. Make yourself happy rather than waiting for him to make you happy! :-)

Answer 5

OK ladies.. insight one...men don't come from Mars, no body lives on Venus, pluto or any other planet than here. Men, however, are products of their parents. Father's who do not compliment their wife leave son's with little knowledge as to what a woman needs. My son is always complimenting his wife because my ex used to compliment me as his father complimented his wife...and the story goes on and on. These are things a couple should get straight before marriage. Unfortunately today couples are so busy figuring out "other things" they don't take time to converse about what is really important to them.

In a way your husband probably does compliment you but you don't catch it. Take time to listen.. compliment him and when he beams about it use little comments like "It feels pretty good when someone recognizes your accomplishments, doesn't it?" He'll catch on. Sometimes we fail to recognize when other's are trying to compliment or we just brush it off with "Ohhhh...this old thing?". Just work on him but use common sense and realize changes don't come over night. When he does compliment you make an acknowledgement like a kiss or quick hug and say thanks. It works really!

Answer 6

It's a guy thing. From what I have observed, for the most part they are insecure about themselves and any compliments they give out only worsens their fears and anxieties.

I told a bf once that he had a really nice penis. He spent the night wondering what I meant about it. It impaired his performance and ended our relationship not long after that. All I said was it was nice. Guys can't give or take compliments.

I'm with you every now and then a nice compliment, a little morale booster. Is that so tough for you guys? Oops I shouldn't have asked I might hurt their feelings.

Answer 7

Hmmm, some guys do others don't.
My husband routinely compliments me. I just had a baby 10 weeks ago and still have yet to return to my svelt form. He tells me I am beautiful, no matter what "I" think. He tells me one way or another at least once a week. Sometimes it will be out of the blue, soemtimes it will be after my complaining about my now 20lb heavier figure.
I did date a guy though that never, ever said anything remotely like that to me

Answer 8

Been there. Felt the same as you.

Hearing it on occasion, provides reassurance. Yes, we don't want constant compliment...they lose their meaning.

It may be a guy thing. Remember, studies show, men utter less words than women. We, (women) tend to use more adjectives then men. They're visual animals.

Maybe they think it's a wasted having to repeat themselves? Or too lazy?

Just accept your husband as he is. I'm sure he loves you, despite his lack of words. Maybe he communicates differently than you. Is there something he does, that you react positively to?

Answer 9

I think it is mostly a guy thing, but not all guys are like that. My first husband was like that. He would tell me something once, and if it changed he would let me know. Problem was, we never talked, so he never told me when they did change.

My second husband is very complimentary. In his family his mother was treated like the queen bee by his father, and the kids were always expected to treat her with respect or face dad's wrath! So, in our marriage he is very kind, considerate and gives lots of compliments.

All in all, I think it has alot to do with how they were raised and how their fathers treated their mothers. We learn from example. The bigger problem is that too many men are trained to be tough and emotionally unavailable, so they may not know how to be open and give compliments and "I love you"s all of the time. THAT is why it is a "guy thing". They usually learn it from their fathers.

Answer 10

Some people believe actions speak louder than words. I know my husband is that way. He does not shower me with compliments... but he goes above and beyond in the little things that mean so much. Like when my coffee is waiting for me by my bed when I wake up... or when I wake up to breakfast in bed. Or how he will pick up my favorite soda for me on the way home without me asking. Or how he'll reach out and stroke my hair when we are watching tv, or just hold my hand.

All of these are compliments.. all of these are ways he shows me he loves me.

Alot of times we look for words from our spouses and blind ourselves to all the other ways they show us their love and affection for us.

Open your eyes and you may just find he's been complimenting you all along... just not in a way you were recognizing as his show of love. You just might be amazed.

Answer 11

It's probably a guy thing. Maybe try complimenting him and see if he catches on and complements you back. My boyfriend did it constantly but it's starting to dwindle as time goes by. I think they just figure they don't have to anymore. I know what you mean though, it feels nice to hear that every once in awhile.