My boyfriend and I are 23 and have just bought our first home. Ever since we moved in three months ago we have only had 2 nights to ourselves! His best friend which is now also one of my best friends will just turn up without asking and stay for days on end. He lives with his parents and has no life besides work and turns up every afternoon without fail. I know he enjoys our company but it is really starting to affect our relationship because we just don't get any time together! I go to bed and my partner has to sit up and talk so we never get to be intimate with each other at night! My partner is a very kind person and does not like confrontation and also does not want to hurt his feelings but what about my feelings!!!!???? How can I tell him to only come over occassionally without sounding like a *****! Or how can my boyfriend say it without losing his mate?
Helpppppmmmeeeeppppleasssseeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-12 19:01:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'd suggest subtle hinting at first, like you both getting ready for bed and yawning a lot. Or making plans to spend outside the home together (and make sure he knows it's a 'couple' thing). After a while he should hopefully get the hint, but if not, you may have to be a bit more blatant. Unless he has a really fragile ego, it shouldn't be that bad to just have a talk with him. It would be much better coming from your partner though, as two of you together is like ganging up.
If he has a fragile ego, lock the place up when you get home, turn off all the lights, and turn your mobiles off until you're sure he's gone. Sorry, sneaky I know, but that would drive me nuts! Good luck : )
2007-08-12 19:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough one!
I know even I would not have been able to say anything.
But you can do one thing ........ try and set him up with someone! ;)
Or keep the drapes down and just dont answer his calls if you are in bed or are doing something just the two of you. Or discuss with him how you are planning a special day / weekend for just the two of you at home and actually plan it and go ahead and do it. Ask him if he has ideas as to what you can do for your hubby ;) He will stay away at least that weekend!
If all fails, start giving him work to do around the house ..... painting fixing ...... anything at all! ;)
All the best. I hope u manage this without hurting the friendship.
2007-08-12 19:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Slite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your boyfriend are the problem. You must be firm or shut up and put up with it..This is what you can do. The next time he comes don't let him in but say we are busy. You can say you can come over let's say what ever night you choose to watch a movie etc. Or you can say call first to see if we are free. If you do not do this nothing will change. When you getting married?
2007-08-12 19:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With this kind of confrontation it's going to be negative. There is no way around it! However, you do want to do something now, because if your bf is like me ( which i think he is from your question details) then one day it's all going to explode into one big problem. I may be uncomfortable to talk to this friend, but isn't the comfort of being in your own house alone worth it?
2007-08-12 19:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can always be rude about it but if you dont want to go that route try to talk to your partner about this and try to come up with a compromise on how often your friend can visit and tell your friend that you two want some time away from him so that you and your partner can have more time together
2007-08-12 19:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by crsyslimjim2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats snarled. Her reasoning of paying a million/2 the hire is negating your dating thoroughly. Fiancees do not act in any such vogue. you may desire to heavily take under consideration the load of your dating and what its nicely worth. because of the fact it could not postpone via this one small obsticle, what are the expectancies in destiny while a greater impediment gets interior the way.
2016-10-15 03:37:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask your boyfriend to have a talk with him. He doesn't have to be nasty. He just needs to tell his friend that you and he need more time alone together. You might try finding him a girlfriend too!! That would occupy him!!
2007-08-12 19:09:16 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to get out. or don't invite him over. tell him that you need time alone, and to get a life.
2007-08-12 19:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you me and dupree.
2007-08-12 19:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by Safiya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋