How can I get over the things I regret?

Question

Lately I've been thinking about all the things I wish I hadn't done. Whether it be things that hurt others or embarrassed myself. I wish I can turn back time to change it, but I can't. And I can't stop thinking about them and feeling very guilty. I can't help but think people are thinking bad things about me. I wanna stop thinking about it and get over it.
I realize that maybe the problem is just I care too much about what others think about me that I take things too seriously, or I'm afraid to express myself in fear of judgment. If I only didn't care about them, but I don't know how...

Answer 1

Learn to laugh at yourself.
I've been now telling myself, "you know, that was 20 years ago. I think I can let it go now."
The people I knew then, I haven't seen since graduation day. It was as if they all disappeared. I haven't seen any of the guys I dated or knew before I got married 15 years ago. Those guys in that 80's rock band I was dying to meet are all old and fat and alcoholics.
The real point is ----- have you learned from your mistakes??? Can you laugh at your mistakes? Now my most embarrassing moment has become my only real embarrassing moment, and since it happened when I was all of 11, I can laugh at it now. The things I did wrong, you know, I realize now how I was doing the best I could with what little information I had about the whole picture - my little mistake which seemed so huge then is so small now in comparison to worse mistakes made by others. And would you be able to forgive me my small mistakes if I would be willing to forgive you yours?
Forgiveness. Why is that such an odd concept that no one thinks of it? How about you find someone to confess your sins to, it doesn't have to be a Catholic priest you know, bartenders seem to get better confessions anyway and tend to have better, more realistic solutions than priests. You could, if you feel insecure about talking to someone, write down your sins in a cheap composition book, apologize to God for your sins, burn the book and let them go. Unburdening your soul will help you a long way towards forgetting. And try to meet up with those you have hurt and apologize to them. You'd be surprised at how people change after ten years. You may find that your hurting them changed them in some way, sometimes surprisingly your hurting them might have been the kick in the butt they needed to change themselves.
Be willing and open, after your confessions, to learn how to forgive others their foibles and imperfections. It's hard and hateful to always be sniping at the small annoyances other people do in front of you. I've been trying to forgive others myself - it can be hard, but I'm no longer the doormat I used to be. I'm stronger, because I was willing to change. Some of the people who hurt me years ago I have forgiven because their current misery is their reward, while I let it go and carry no resentment and feel all the more happier with my life.
As for people thinking of you, I'm remembering an odd dream I had one night where I was wearing a very revealing dress, and at first I was in a panic - you know, oh no, I'm naked, and then I started flaunting it, because in the end, if that's all they see when they see me, why not give them a show and let them see all of me, sagging chest, extra tire around my middle, fat butt, boy, won't that keep them away from strip clubs forever afterwards! If I can put a strip club out of business with MY body - hey, I'm all for it!
But seriously, part of letting go is realizing that everyone makes mistakes. You were certainly not the cashier who pressed subtotal, charged the credit card, THEN pressed total and had to recharge the card the sales tax! You were not the guy who was cleaning the bathroom and accidentally dropped the expensive glass bottle of perfume on the tile floor! You were probably not the guy who missed the toilet from both ends and I was the one who had to clean it up (Thank goodness the bathroom had a floor drain and I could use a hose!) AND you were certainly not the person who was looking for the can of seasoned bread crumbs at the store and asked the cute guy working there, "Where are the bread crumbs?" And didn't get embarrased about his answer, "In the bread section," until you were halfway home. (Well, duh!)
So learn to forgive yourself and let go. Learn to laugh at your mistakes. Learn to forgive others. It takes time, but the burden will be lifted and you will feel, well, forgiven.
Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

There is a simple solution. You can make a list of these people who were affected by your actions. Whenever possible make an apology to them. Simply take responsibility for your own actions without placing blame on anyone else.

Do not apologize to anyone who could get hurt further by your apology. (Also, no apologies to anyone who might hurt you)

Most will certainly forgive, but if not that is OK too, you have done your part.

I am only sharing with you what I had to do for myself years ago.

You will feel so much better when you are done. Time to move on and good luck to you.

Answer 3

I don't know of anyone who wouldn't go back and change things. When I start thinking about all I have done I say stop out loud if I'm alone and say it over and over in my head if not . This life is a journey , but there isn't a place to turn around . we just keep moving forward . AND Never do the things we regret again.

Answer 4

All I can say is look ahead. Don't think about all the bad things that you have done....think about all the good things. Don't focus so much on the past but look ahead to the future. Thats all you can do.

Answer 5

you really need to come to an inner peace. maybe you should see a psychiatrist, it's always good to get in touch and move on. from personal experience it's helped me

Answer 6

If I were you I would get help with a Psychologist.

Answer 7

slit wrist