I have a new BF whom I adore. He is sweet, honest, kind and a great guy except that I have a V8 drive and he has a 4 cylender. I tried to tell him as gently as possible but I am concerned that his drive is what it is and it will not change. I will hurt him if I tell him and when I told him not to be so careful he wont break me he said he dont want to hurt me and he can never hurt me. Ok, Hurt me ok but I did not ask him to kill me or break a rib, just a little bit more agression in bed would be nice. WHat is the best way to tell a guy withot hurting his feelings? I really like him alot.
2007-08-12 16:02:54 · 27 answers · asked by ninia1968 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok you got the right idea we as men have this pride thing and want 2 feel like we just know how to please our woman but theres ways you can beef him up take him out whisper in his ear while out that you want him 2 beat it up then when u get home you show the aggression and hope he catches the hint. Or one day kinda ask him how he likes things or does he want 2 do something different if he ask back tell him what u like if that dont work just tell him like this "if an 8 pound 21inch baby can come out of here it aint 2 much damage u can do now F**K me"
2007-08-12 16:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like my kind of gal. That being said, I always "test" my way around until I learn the limits of the girl I'm sleeping with.
The easiest thing is hair-pulling. How a girl responds to that is a good indication of how far I can push things.
Maybe ask him to pull your hair? Tell him to knot it up in a ball and yank it back. Then you can show him how much you like it by your reaction. He'll do it more if he knows that you enjoy it.
Telling him directly - while not currently engaged in sex, is not a good idea. He'll think about it too much and that could adversely affect his confidence. Just ask him while you are in the middle of sex, and when he does pull your hair, make sure you respond appropriately.
2007-08-12 23:13:56 · answer #2 · answered by Christian Blake 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don’t always wait for your boyfriend to make the first move. Don’t be over aggressive or you will scare him off but taking the initiative every so often will let him know that you want him. Then you can regulate the level of excitement and activity.
He may also be intimidated by your previous experience and doesn’t know how to handle it. Treat him like a virgin and help him learn how to love.
2007-08-12 23:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by whiner_cooler 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, do you want to keep it erect, or flaccid..You don't tell a guy you show him dear. Smack that fine a** of his. Say oops I need to be punished, give it to me long and hard like you have never given it before. It's called show and tell not do it better. Maybe he needs to go to a 7 and you crank it down some..But then you did say new did you not? I will not call you selfish, just a little to pushy in this new relationship..Condoms and the pill I hope dear!!!
2007-08-12 23:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had this same problem as well, and the way I handled it was to actually show him what I liked and it turned out that he liked it, too. So, it was a benefit to us both by my taking the reins.
You could also try verbal stimulation where you tell him your greatest fantasies and ask him to help you fulfill them. This way, you're not flattening his ego by saying that you're not satisfied with his usual performance. Tell him every woman is different and that you like and need different kinds of stimulation.
2007-08-12 23:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by HoPeFuL 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that since he is a NEW BF, you need to turn it down a little. I think that any guy should be given a chance to get accustomed to the V8 engine before driving it at full speed.
Seriously, let things build - I think you are expecting too much too soon.
2007-08-12 23:07:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Obviously you became sexually involved with this man before you actually really knew him so now you're having problems communicating...that's no surprise, you weren't communicating before you became sexually involved otherwise you would know what type he was in bed BEFORE you jumped in and spread your legs. The BEST way to tell him was to have TOLD him long before this. This is why one needs to actually get to know the person they are phucking before they become involved. Now you're going to have to hurt his feelings probably since neither one of you are compatible in bed.
2007-08-12 23:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand how he feels if i was you i would just bring up the subject explain your likes and dislikes and that sex is more pleasing and exciting for you this way let him know you will tell him when he being to ruff set up a signal of some type,hes trying to make love to you because he cares and respects you in my opnion he can still do that and be a bit of a beast for you maybe start out his way and end yours,good luck.
2007-08-12 23:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take the lead in bed. Tell him to do something you like, give him some instructions...but not too pushy. Give him a great bj...spice it yourself and he should follow. If he doesn't, then you two won't be sexually compatible although you adore him.
2007-08-12 23:12:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
1, Don't do anything. You shoudl remain celebate instead of having sex to get to know him. You will never have a meaningful relationship otehrwise.
2. It takes two. You can't blame it all on him.
2007-08-12 23:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋