2007-08-12 15:36:22 · 22 answers · asked by chrisman9904 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband should not have cheated on you! However there is a role that should be played when being a wife and part of that is showing him that you love him every chance you get. Affection is not only important to the marriage, but it defines closeness to a man. When one falls short of this there will be consequences. It is unfortunate that this happen to you. Just to educate you having walked in your shoes, just him cheating on you is not the end of the world its what type of relationship he has with the person he has cheated with that you should be most concerned about. Does he love this woman? Has he ever put her before you? I don't know if you have children, but do your children know this woman? Has he lied for her, to be with her? Those are the things that should help you determine is this a marriage you should continue to be in. Trust me if has given you any indication that he wants out of the marriage, let him. That lets you know you have already lost the spiritual and emotional connection with him. You can't make someone love you and the relationship will only get worse. Instead use this experience as a stepping stone and move on with your life. Figure out how to obtain your goals in life and do so. You can email me anytime if you need to talk!
2007-08-15 04:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is no excuse for him to cheat and he is putting the blame on you! Cheating is always a choice and he did it because he wanted to. Do not accept this because it is all about him and not you. He had a choice to work on things with you inside of the marriage and he made the decision to hurt and betray you. Don't allow him to emotionally abuse you any more and make him accountable for his actions. If you choose to remain in this marriage and he is truly remorsefull for what he done you need to give him an ultimatum. That means you will both go into marriage counseling and learn how to deal with this. If he refuses to go and and does not get help with his issues and will not commit to working on problems with you then I would leave him. You can still love someone and not be able to live in a relationship with them. He done you wrong in the worst way and it is heartbreaking when someone you love does something like this to you. You wonder if you even knew him at all and it changes the way you look at them. He broke your trust and it will never come back 100% and things for you will never be the same. You need a third party intervention here or do it for yourself if he won't go. There you will find the strength and guidance to know if you can or cannot go on with him. So sorry this happened to you .....take care and I wish you the best.
2007-08-12 23:07:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say to him ( I'll show you how it feels to be cheated on) and say no more about it.Let him wonder if or when you are going to cheat. If your not going to leave him this will be the next best thing. Don't let him blame you you had absolutely nothing to do with him cheating on you.That's part of the head game they like to play. Put the blame on the wife that way he gets off the hook because you are to busy trying to figure out what you did to make him turn to someone else. Don't play his game put the blame where the blame belongs .
2007-08-12 22:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was your husband's choice to cheat on you. It isn't your fault. By blaming you he is trying to escape his accountability in the matter. Until he is ready to admit he made a mistake & decides to work towards fixing whatever the problems are in your marriage I would just make plans to move on alone. After all, he derailed the relationship. If he isn't willing to do all he can to get it back on track then what can you do?
2007-08-12 22:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The love he was looking for was physical and not emotional.
Get checked out by a doctor to see if he transferred and STD's over to you and then divorce him. If he cheated once, he'll cheat again if there is no punishment.
2007-08-13 11:55:39 · answer #5 · answered by Rawbert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a book called Love & Respect and a book called Cracking the communication code. Both are by emmerson Eggrich. They changed my life and marriage for the better
2007-08-13 00:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your not his escape goat. Meaning you are not to blame. Men! (sigh)
If he has a problem with you any problem then he should have come and talked with you not go out and cheat. he is the one who should be guilty the blame lays in his lap not yours.
If he can't see that then you are in for a hard relationship cause he will blame you for everything. If he isn't will to go get counseling then you need to for you. You deserve better.
2007-08-12 22:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is blaming it all on you. His Cheating was all of your fault because you did not fullfill his sexual needs. I would tell this loser to hit the road jack, because once a cheater always a cheater. If he had the shits for a week that would be your fault too!
2007-08-12 22:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by Sam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's see...he cheats...blames you...now are you supposed to feel guilty and forgive him??? Is he crazy???
You need to do whatever you would do with a husband you can't trust...it is always up to the individual...Good Luck honey
2007-08-12 22:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by missyj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need to love yourself first,and then him.If he cheated on u,sweetie he didn't love u at the begining.Just let god fight your battles,and everything will be alright.Hope for the best on your marrige.
2007-08-13 00:27:19 · answer #10 · answered by aquarius b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋