My husband and i have only been married 2 months and we have quit having sex what should i do?

Question

We were dating 4 years before we got married and in the last year and a half he has not wanted sex alot. I told him i did not want to be in a passionless marriage before we got married he promised me we wouldn't. Everytime I try to ask why he some up with a different excuse and we end up fighting. I am not happy because of all the tension it is causing and i am really considering cutting my losses and leaving. I love him more than life it's self but two months in to this marriage we have only had sex like twice i think something is seriously wrong.

Answer 1

Yep something is wrong and you need to sit him down for a talk. If he doesn't want to talk with you then you have to decide what to do next.

Answer 2

You need to find out what the issue is, but I am sure you have asked him.
You may try initiating it yourself in a way you have never done before. Try different things and let him experiment with you as well. Try to break out of a common pattern. If money allows, go away for the weekend together to a really private relaxing place.

Did you have a pregnancy scare? Sometimes this will make men shy away from sex. Did you gain weight? Did something change in his life, such as losing a job? Also, sometimes men develop Madonna Complexes. This is when they view sex as dirty and see their wives as too good and pure for sex. This sometimes happens after they become a mom.
I hope you figure out what is wrong and everything works out.

Answer 3

Chill out, girl. Sex isn't that important. What did you promise when you said your marriage vows? Did you say that you would be faithful and stand by his side "for better or worse"? Did you lie? If you would leave a man who you claim to "love more than life itself" because he didn't feel like having sex as often as you do, there are many many more women out in the world, waiting to swoop him up. Don't be too selfish, or you'll end up either bouncing from one man to another, trying to get your sexual desires fulfilled, or you'll simply end up old & alone.

Answer 4

I don't get it with newly weds. My wife and I have been married for 38 years and sex is a standard operating procedure for us.

Answer 5

he might be adjusting to being married and there might be external stress. Try to open up communication lines and find out what is really bothering him. Maybe he is depressed
about something ?

Good luck

Answer 6

You've made a committment... running out about a problem that you knew existed prior to marriage... doesn't make sense to me.
Ask him to see a dr. about his low interest in sex OR
get to a marriage counselor... Fighting about it won't help.
Look for SOLUTIONS... not arguing, pointing fingers, and running out.

Answer 7

First, stop lying to yourself. To make the statement"I love them more than life itself' cannot be true if you are having thoughts of cutting your losses. For someone who truly feels the way you say you do, they would go to the ends of the earth to work it out and have faith that a resolution could be obtained. Before I can offer an opinion, there is a lot of info I would need in order to give an opinion with some insight. What are your ages,are there any medical or health issues? More so for women than men, age is a strong reason for no longer being interested in sex. I base this on my experience from dealing with and associating with people of the senior citizen generation. Another point that comes to mind without knowing more is the possibility of there being emotional, physical, or other health issues. Depression is a strong sexual deterant. When a person is depressed, their interest in anything can be greatly diminished. If the case is only the sexual interaction between the two of you has changed or noticably different, then the reason could be something that isn't even imaginable or is something we hope isn't the case;outside sexual exploits. Infidelity is an issue that really cuts to the core of what married couples hold in a sacred trust for one another. Unless this issue was discussed prior to the union and it was agreed to by both parties that you would have a monogamous life together, infidelity in my opinion is legitimate grounds for divorce. On the other hand, if there was any knowledge that one or both of you were prone to sexual encounters with others before the two of you made the commitment to one another and got married anyway, then my opinion would have to be "Suck it up and get over it." There is a cliche that says,'Once a cheat, always a cheat.' Being a man myself, sex is very important to me and I would be a hypocrit if I tried to deny that when it comes to the issue of sex, men are pigs. But as a man, I do not attach emotional baggage to sex. I have sex but with my partner, I make love. The only outcome of just wanting sex is the animalistic urge to 'get off', whereas women for the most part are emotionally connected to the act of sex. That would probably explain why women as a species are not as promiscuos as men are. I'm not saying that women cannot be unfaithful becuase I know for a fact that it isn't true. For some of the possible reasons I stated earlier as to why your husband has no sexual interest has been the reason why some women are unfaithful. It isn't because there is any love loss, but only to satisfy the animalistic urge. I have heard from experts(Oprah episode) that it is not uncommon for women to lose all interest in sex after having children. Not because they no longer have an interest in producing offspring or cannot get excited enough to produce an orgasm, it boils down to what the body is going through. The brain may no longer identify the stimuli that produces reaction. Its all physical. In my personal life, I had a distressing phone call from my aunt this morning that she was having a fight with her fiance and it was big. Shortly thereafter, her fiance calls me and invites me to breakfast. We have breakfast and during our conversation, he informs me that he no longer has the same physical attraction to my aunt as he did when they first got together 2.5 years ago. I had a little insight on his confession because my aunt had shared with me during a venting session that the two of them were not having sex and haven't been for nearly 13 months and the fiance, who is a really great guy, used his physical issues to explain the non interest. During breakfast, he stated to me that the truth was that with him, every woman he was either married to or dated became sexually less appealing to him. In other words, he was only interested in sex if there was some variety. I asked if there was anything that might be useful in rekindling his sex drive and he said no. I bring this up only to make a point. There are a lot of reasons why people have issues regarding sex. I myself would not have sex with my partner after he had a weight gain of 50+ lbs while he was away for six months. We have been together for 17 years. Are relationship works well for us because I'm the type of guy that has no problem asking questions in order to rectify a problem. I knew before we made a commitment to one another that his first relationship ended after he cheated. So I went into our life together with my eyes open. I also know that he is bisexual. I'm confident that if he has ever been unfaithful to me, it was only to 'get off'; not because he is unhappy with our relationship or because I'm not fullfilling his needs, he simply had a sexual need for release and I may not have been available or I wasn't interested at the time. I know that he and I can say with complete honesty to ourselves and each other that we love each other more than life itself. I hope that there is some in this answer that helps you deal with your issue in a satisfactory way. Best of luck. Here is a closing suggestion. If your love is strong, keep an open mind to possible explainations as well as compromise. Also keep in mind that neither can be obtained without communication.

Answer 8

Have you asked him to see a doctor...it might be a physical problem...

You love him more than life...then you add the BUT...don't you realize that when you add the but it means that everything you said before the but mean squat???

Answer 9

Get your marriage annulled and move on. You're too young to not be happy!!!!

Answer 10

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