I told the guy i was in love with i needed a break and i would get in touch with him when its over..but i regret saying that ,but its only been 1day since i said that lol.. i said it because hes not ready to be with me..and he has no clue about the future and if we ever will be but he says he'd like to think we will oneday..but he started talking to his ex and his ex-lovers and I thought to myself I don't want be on the side as a maybe oneday person..so i told him this : Right now in my life I am wanting more then you can give me..and with that being said..,,,I need time to think about my life, get my life in order, and find out what I really am wanting in my life..And its really hard to do when people are talking about me, and the past is always being brought up..im better then that, and I don't want to sit around dwelling on it or thinking about it..I am taking a break ..And I will get in contact with you when its over..
did I do the right thing? cuz i so wanna call him lol.
2007-08-12 14:40:28 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
id like to add that since I told him that I have found out that he slept with another girl and at the time when it happened i got upset about it and he made me out to be fool and i told him i was sorry because he said nothing happened..turns out it did twice! Plus I found out he thought I was alittle overweight..im 124lbs and im 5'2 what the crap lol.
2007-08-12 15:37:43 · update #1
Of course you want to call him - you spent a lot of time with him and you have feeling invested within this relationship. I don't think you messed up because at the time you told him how you actually felt. The problem is he isn't sitting at home thinking about calling you, he is calling ex girlfriends instead. You have to figure out the standards men should meet before dating you and then require them. Don't settle for anything less then what you deserve. Call him if you must, but remember your reasoning for taking a break in the first place.
2007-08-12 14:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by carissa m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you taking time to figure yourself out. In fact, I think it's great that you allowed yourself the privilage!
However, the problem with couples taking breaks is that they both get a small taste of freedom. Even when a person thinks s/he is completely happy in the relationship, a small taste of freedom can do great damage to the relationship in the future. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years without breaking up (or taking a break) once. In the beginning of our relationship we laid some groundrules, and we've stuck to them. One of the rules was that neither of us would ever say the words, "break", "break-up", or "divorce" because once those words are spoken it becomes an option. We live our lives together without those words in our vocabulary becuase, to us, it is not an option at all. Once breaking up or taking a break is allowed as an option, it makes it very easy to desire it. . . it also makes it very easy to go there again when times get tough in the future.
Did you do the right thing? Only you can answer that. The short paragraph you wrote isn't enough for the readers to really know how healthy or unhealthy your relationship is. Right or wrong, you've already spoken those words and cannot take them back, so now you need to decide what is right for you to do. You do that by asking yourself questions and answering them honestly . . . no lying to yourself. Am I with him because I truly care about him and we have a chance at a HEALTHY relationship, or am I with him because it's convienent and I don't want to start over again? If I am with him because I'm comfortable, can the relationship be salvaged and do I really want to salvage it? Am I happy with this person sharing my life, or am I just satisfied/content?
You also need to figure out if you are questioning yourself now because he is your weakness or if it's because you genuinlly feel that you may have made a mistake. Take all of the things to heart and you will have your answer. If you decide he is too good to lose, put your pride aside and call him. If you're unsure . . . that's an answer in and of itself.
Best of luck!
2007-08-12 22:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Sera B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did the right thing. You were clear and honest with him about how you felt. There's nothing wrong with taking a step back and re-evaluating a situation, and it's probably a good idea considering your heart is involved. You never know....a week or two might go by, and you may reinforce your feelings a hundred fold and be very glad you made the decision you did.
2007-08-12 21:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by Christian Blake 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did absolutely the right thing. Good for you. It shows you have a solid decision making ability (very rare quality to see in people) and he doesn't. Do not back up on your decision. Because it was a wise one. He will contact you if he will really want to.
2007-08-12 21:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with endo_chic
You may feel bad now, but when the time is right, or when "Mr. Right" comes along, you will be glad that you stuck to your guns!
Don't settle for second best or even second place, it will be a horrible life for you if you do!
You sound very sensible and I am rooting for you!
2007-08-12 21:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Now you are giving him the time to evaluate himself if he is really serious about your relationship.
Try not to call him to show that you mean what you told him.
It's not easy but it would help both of you to think if "this is really it".
Also ask for Divine Guidance. Take care.
2007-08-12 21:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by What Does The Bible Really Teach 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a break. 60 years sounds about right. If you want to talk to him after 60 years, have yourself committed.
2007-08-12 22:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
either way you felt you needed this change take it, if its meant 2 be it will be! It hard to know if it was right or not but if you didn't take up for what u felt, one day you might have regretted that...trust yourself
2007-08-12 21:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by joe_and_mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call him... It sounds like he's really taking you for granted and needs a good lesson.
get him desperate before ending the brake. And if he's not desperate then he probably doesn't love you as much as you love him.
Good luck.
2007-08-12 21:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by Carmela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you did the right thing and what you said makes complete sense!
2007-08-12 21:45:08 · answer #10 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋