She is going thru, job, moving, financial "things" wants his advice. She has been a long distance friend for years, since they worked together twenty plus years ago. She came and visited us once 3 years ago. He is 51 - I think he is having a mid-life crisis. Got his haircut. He insists they are just friends. I couldn't go last time, because of work and family, this trip they both invited me, but I don't think they really wanted me, and I don't travel well with him, if I drive everything I do is wrong. And even sitting in the passenger seat, I may comb my hair and get hair in his car or blow my nose and get kleenex "dust" in his car. So I couldn't imagine riding together for 10 hours. Our marriage has lost it's appeal and sizzle. But I don't know whether I want to know the truth if it is not just a friendship. I guess I am asking - am I stupid, & gullible, and I don't want the pity that I already feel from friends and being practical I can't afford being alone.
2007-08-12 13:13:15 · 16 answers · asked by farmgirlalways 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i don't think it's wise to allow him to go alone 2 times in 3 weeks...to visit a female friend, and if you sensed that the both of them didn't want you there, then it's probably not innocent on their part....i know that some people say oh, just let him go to her, their only friends..... YEA RIGHT !!! even if they are.... you don't on purpose put a pit fall in someones path that you love....or in a weak moment in time, they will fall into the pit !!! TRUST ALSO COMES WITH WISDOM !!!
2007-08-12 13:31:50 · answer #1 · answered by cherokee squaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i definitely don't think you are the bad guy. it seems like you have done pretty much everything in your power to accommodate and put up with her. i would either cancel the reservations or just have you and your sister go. you could always offer to still take the 9 year old, if you or the child even want to do that (i just feel bad for her, because it's not her fault, it's her aunt's). however, if you don't think the trip will be very fun anymore and too much work/ too expensive, then just cancel it. i wouldn't worry too much about "jenny." if she called back again to say she definitely couldn't go, chances are that she cant go. don't feel bad, i know she's a longtime friend, but honestly, you shouldn't have to worry about her problems. good luck. hopefully whatever you decide works out well :)
2016-05-21 01:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT stupid or gullible. Your assessment of the situation sounds pretty reasonable. You must be, however, a little bit lazy. I noticed you didn't say that you love your husband. I also noticed when you said you can't afford being alone. It's an old story isn't it? You need his paycheck, not him. You should stop worrying about it. He doesn't want to lose any of his stuff either. That should make you feel better. Get a boyfriend. That should make you feel a lot better.
2007-08-12 13:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by noshaymatall 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't start something you are not prepared to finish. If they did invite you, you should have taken a large sleeping pill, curled up in the back seat and not wake up until you got there. Then he wouldn't have reason to get mad. Your marriage is boring so you "think" he is cheating. Do you really care if he is? Maybe it is time for a good sit down with him about you and him and not him and her. If you don't, one of these visits he won't come back from.
2007-08-12 13:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think he need to drive 10 hrs to give her advice. he could easily do that over the phone. My ex had a friend like this too they are now married. you need to wake up and spend time with him, marriage is about give and take. so what if he fuses on your trip, the question you need to ask yourself is will you miss that fussing. If so wake up and make so many plans for the 2 of you he has no time for her on the weekends. So what if they don't want you to go too bad. you need to fight for your man.....If not he will be gone
2007-08-12 15:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by tatsmom4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know whats going on. you said it you don want to know. your husband is cheating with this lady right in your face and your are allowing it to happen. you need to get yourself together and wise up. your marriage and life as you know it is going down the tubes. you better get the appeal and sizzle from some where and put it in your marriage. treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure, haircut, and color, drop a few pounds if you need to, get some sexy lingerie. do something fight for your man. GodBless
2007-08-12 13:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While he's gone, have a chat with a good, nasty divorce attorney. Prepare to take half his income. Otherwise, you will find yourself working at Burger King and living in your car by this time next year.
2007-08-12 14:02:12 · answer #7 · answered by Sassie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trip does sound fishy to me, but I think you already know the truth. Maybe you just need someone to reinforce it. Sorry.
2007-08-12 13:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by jjohnny65 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This sounds very weird to me. He should be concentrating on you and your well-being, not on some hog 10 hours away that takes away from your marriage.
2007-08-12 13:24:25 · answer #9 · answered by OC 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Google "emotional affair". Married men do not have female friends. And vice versa. If it hasn't turned physical yet, it will. Get a lawyer.
2007-08-12 13:24:26 · answer #10 · answered by wc2ketey 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋