Mine has caused me to lower some of my standards and after some time now, i don't like what I'm becoming. I swear too much, get angry too much, stopped going to church, and I complain alot more than I used to....I don't know how to change that right now...it is just bothering me. I think it was bad to get involved with someone who had bad habits I didn't have and slowly start taking on those habits....anyway...how does your significant influence you?
2007-08-12 10:54:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank God you are recognizing that these traits are not healthy or prosperous for you. I pray that you are strong enough to separate yourself and return to those things which were positive in your life. I know what it is like to lower your standards, and personally, I don't call them standards - they are levels in God you have grown and now you are allowing someone else to move you from your position in Him. I urge you to get back to where you were and move forward. Satan is very slick, but we are supposed to be aware of his devices. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Ask yourself- is this happening to you? Jesus came that you might have life and life more abundantly. Ask yourself - is this your life? You have a choice - please change quickly and save yourself an ultimate distratrous end. There is no time for a pity party- sweetheart -your life is at stake.
2007-08-12 11:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hubby keeps me grounded. There are some of my standards he has raised and some he has lowered, however, I have done the same with him. For us, it works out and we are both better people for it....which makes us a better couple.
If you don't like who you are becoming, I suggest you re-evaluate your situation and consider making the necessary changes to become the person you were meant to be. Just because your spouse feels one way, does not mean that you have to. That's part of being an individual and there is nothing wrong with you being the polar opposite of your spouse!!
Take some time for yourself, reflect, and find the old you!!
2007-08-12 18:00:32 · answer #2 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I'm my own person. A significant other CAN'T cause you to do ANYTHING unless you CHOOSE to do so. Stop blaming your significant other and start putting the blame where it belongs. On the person who looks back at you from the mirror. Your significant other (no matter how significant) is not responsible for the choices in life that YOU make.
2007-08-12 18:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lower
2007-08-12 19:53:29 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see what you mean by your question. But it isn't about everyone else out here . it's about what you want to do to change yourself, isn't it? Before, you were non yelling, non swearing, non shining, church going. You say it is his fault you lowered your standards because his are lower. Come on. It's your fault, not his. It's ok. At least you see what is happening to you.
You can change it all back to where you were before and still love him. None of us should expect everyone else to be perfect but we all do need to try harder to BE perfect. So it is ok that you took a few crooked turns here and there. You didn't murder anyone, you didn't cheat on him, you didn't steal. All this problem of yours takes is focus on what is going to come out of your mouth and mind before bad things just rush out and ruin your day. Just keep your lips closed and when you are READY, let good things come out of your heart. I think you just need to be his good influence and he might have picked you because of your being as you were.
it will be ok.
2007-08-12 18:34:21 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm married to a well adjusted, motivated man. He encouraged and paid for me to go back to school and get a degree. I want to make him proud and I'm doing a lot of things I wouldn't have dreamed of 20 years ago, like mountain biking, snowboarding, climbing, surfing. He's been a wonderful influence on me.
2007-08-12 18:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although I promised that I would never lower my standards, I found someone that is worth me lightening up for. He loves me and I love him. I have OCD, and there are just stupid things that really don't matter as much as having someone to love and someone to love you back.
2007-08-12 18:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some I have lowered and some I have raised...it depends...
however, I keep all the ones that are REALLY important to me right where I want them.
2007-08-12 17:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh, to me it seems that YOU have let YOURSELF lower your standards. all of the habits you mentioned are completely in your control. if you want to go to church...go. if you want to stop cussing...stop. i doubt that your husband is forcing you to cuss or stay home from church. more likely, you have relaxed your standards because his are relaxed and now you want someone to blame for where you are. don't blame him, blame yourself. he hasn't CAUSED you to lower your personal standards. your personal standards have changed.
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2007-08-12 18:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thanks to my wife I have raised my standards. Only settle for second best when there are no other alternatives. Strive to be the best. That doesnt mean you have to be an a$$hole to do so.
2007-08-12 18:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋