My best friend just had an abortion today, 9 1/2 weeks into it. I am already a pro-life person, and for my best friend to have one really hurt me, but she's still my best friend and I don't hate her for it, but I am sitting here crying for her baby that she just aborted, and I don't know how to deal with it. Any advice?
2007-08-12 10:46:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm terribly sorry to hear this. I wish I could say something to make this pain go away for you.
I would suggest writing down how you feel. If you think sharing it with your parents would help, I think you could talk to them. Sometimes, no matter how old we are, it feels good to talk about things that bother us with our mom or dad, whichever parent you're closest to emotionally.
Or maybe you just need your friend to tell you why she chose abortion. Maybe you should talk to her and explain how you feel and listen to her reasons. A lot of young women who have abortions just see no way out of a pregnancy they didn't expect.
There was really nothing you could do to change her mind once she'd made up her mind to have the abortion. I think maybe you feel like you failed your friend or her baby. I want you to remember one thing though: we can always do our best for our friends. Trying to help them is what makes us friends to them. But sometimes, even that bond of friendship isn't enough to get your friend to follow our advice. You're not to blame for what happened. But you can be there for her now and through the years when she has to deal with what she has done by having an abortion.
Women who have abortions almost always regret it, and you can be there for her when she finally confronts what she did. That is the best thing you can do for her now. Just stay by her and let you know you care.
Again, I am so very sorry you're going through this. My best friend's sister had an abortion years ago. So did someone from my church. Both regretted it and even have dreams about the baby over the years...and the baby gets older as the years go by. You can help her the most by helping her deal with these issues later on. Right now, though, your friend just needs to know that you still want to be friends and still will stand beside her. It doesn't hurt to have a friend cry on your shoulder.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon.
-Serena
2007-08-12 11:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Serena 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that this happened! It's right for you to grieve because an innocent baby was killed, sadly the mother is not shedding a tear for her own child.
You must pray for her daily that she will have a change of heart and face the reality of what she did. Only then can she be truly healed, and this process will help you, too.
I think that might be what's making this so difficult for you - it's not just that she aborted the baby, but that she's not grieving like a mother should.
While it's true that God alone judges each person, it's also equally true that killing a baby is a serious sin and therefore your friend is in need of mercy and forgiveness. That's why you must pray. You can also do works of charity and offer them to God for her, and you can offer up your daily disappointments and sufferings for the intention of her "conversion."
And please don't be tempted to content yourself (or the mother) with assurances that the baby is in Heaven. Noone knows for sure where aborted babies go. It is a resounding question that neither Scripture or Tradition has given the Church an answer for. If all aborted babies go straight to the arms of God then we might not grieve so much, but sadly we just don't know. We must commend both mother AND child to the mercy of God.
Our Father will bless you and see you through this!
2007-08-12 10:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is something you are going to have to sort through yourself. In the end, when you come to terms with what happened, you will know yourself better. In the end, you can only control what is in your own arms' reach. Everything else in life is up to chance or another person's free will. There is nothing wrong with trying to save a life through your friend, but I can tell you from experience that you never know what you would do until you are in that situation.
You could always go talk to a counselor additionally. I'm pretty sure that they are going to tell you something similar though. It's just something that you have to work through on your own.
2007-08-12 10:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by Martyr Machine 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im sorry to hear that hun and i know its hurts you alot and i have the most respect for you because your grieving it shows how much you care,i cant tell you how to not grive about it but i can tell you that your are one hell of a good person all you can do is think of baby being in the hands upstairs you know,and if you ever have a baby be very proud of your self or if you have one just think of the happiness and be the best you can
2007-08-12 11:00:22 · answer #4 · answered by My Hubby Rob&Son Dakota Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do no longer act like no longer something occurred, with the aid of fact it did. i do no longer think of that grow to be top of her to instruct ultrasound %. and then get an abortion. She made that lil existence interior her think of it had of challenge and then took its existence away. Now I understand ppl are going to troll my answer and be like "its to early the child did no longer understand that grow to be happening". That grow to be a individual in her and it may desire to have had of challenge. this is in basic terms my opinion. -jess
2016-10-10 02:09:34 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can pray for her, she really needs a friend right now, so don't judge her. This is between God and her. Please just be her friend, be there for her.
2007-08-12 10:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by southernvixin00 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋