For those who decided not to have children, what were the reasons for your decision?

Question

And how old were you when you made that decision?

(This question is addressed to both married and unmarried people...)

Answer 1

no interruption in lifestyle
that's the number one reason people choose not to have children
and it does not make them selfish for doing so as other will chime in on this
they in fact love children
they just do not want the associated cost and mess and what not that comes with it
they want the freedom of travel and a given lifestyle that cannot be achieved with children
it also make more things affordable and less of a life struggle financially with out them

Answer 2

I don't think I'm better than anyone who has kids, nor do I think they're better than me (unlike some answers you see here).

There are a lot of reasons I decided not to have children:

* I had an abusive childhood and needed to spend my 20's and 30's raising myself.
* I carry a genetic mutation that gives me very high odds of getting cancer, and I didn't want to pass that on.
* The planet is seriously overpopulated, and there are thousands of children who need a loving home. I'd adopt before having my own.
* It wasn't important to my husband that we have kids, so neither of us pushed the issue on each other.
* I had to have a hysterectomy, so the whole topic became moot after that.
* I saw a lot of people around me having children "to take care of me when I'm old" and I thought that was a crappy reason to have kids. Plus there's no guarantee your kids will be there when you need them.

I don't know that I ever consciously made the decision. It just never seemed like "the next right thing" to do. And so it didn't get done.

Answer 3

I happen to be married with children. I completely respect some of the arguments for not having children. I think it is so important to be extremely honest with yourself and assess your own mental state and goals before making such a decision. The posts here already are right on the money. Yes, finances and lifestyle are very much compromised!! Even though I love my children more than life, the everyday details sometimes become so mundane and I miss the freedom that I once had. I would never change it but I understand the choice to not have kids.

Answer 4

looking back all the wrong reasons but I realize now that I was only supposed to be an Aunt in the world not a mom. My decision was made at 18 started new job out of highschool, got married, made a ton of money, got divorced, now alone...so I live with that decision every day. This is how my life was meant to be.

Answer 5

I have kids and I absolutely LOVE being a mother, however, both of my baby brother's decided that kids were not a part of their futures.

My brother's are 28 & 26 and are both very successful in their fields. They have both said that children are nice, but are just not for them or their wives. They enjoy being able to:

do what they want without restraint
come and go as they please
work as late as they want
not have to plan around a child's school schedule
neither of them like the thought of toting diaper bags
they enjoy their sleep
don't have to be resp. for someone else
etc.

I am proud that they made the decision BEFORE they had children, as I would hate for another unwanted child to come into this world. Perhaps they will change their minds in the future, perhaps not...but either way, they are still wonderful people.

Answer 6

My husband and I just decided that we probably don't want to have children. He does not want children because he enjoys the kind of time and freedom in life that he would not be able to have with kids. He is also not very patient with children, and a little awkward.
I myself do not want children because I will have a career that takes up a lot of time. When I am not at work, I want to have peace and quiet and the freedom to do as I please.
The lifestyle that my husband and I are creating and love just, unfortunately, does not include children in the picture.

Answer 7

I was 25 when I realized that it is better for me and for potential baby not to have it for the following reasons:

- I did not have a very good relationship with my own parents/poor family model, so I did not want to transmit negative feelings on a child and make him/her unhappy

- I would not feel secure having a baby with a man because I do not have trust in relationships

- Serious financial constraint: I make enough to cope with life, but having a baby associates in my sick mind with poverty, deprivation and misery. The idea of stopping work for almost a year and then surviving and not being able to afford good health care and education for a child was the last argument.

I have a lot of admiration for those who decide to have children, but this is just not my case.

Answer 8

I am in my fifies now and I think I knew in my twenties that I didn't want kids. I just never had that "biological clock" urge kick in, and now that I'm older and have had some therapy I have figured out that my mom really did a job on me when I was younger--she was overbearing, demanding, and nothing I ever did was good enough. I now think that deep down I knew that I would pass that on because we tend to pass on our parent's dysfunctions to our own kids even if we don't mean to. I was messed up and didn't know how to fix it so I would have passed on all that crap and baggage to kids.

Answer 9

First of all, congrats on choosing the "Childfree" life!

I think maybe you should ask, “Why do people bother to have children”. Asking people why they chose not to have children is like asking them why they chose not to drop a hammer on their foot.

Anyway, I am “Childfree” because I just plain don’t need the headache. I like my freedom. My girlfriend and I have passports full of stamps, as a result of not having children.

I have plenty of friends that have them, and plenty that do not. The ones that have them will never admit that they regret having them. Well, they will in private.

It is better to regret not having children than to regret having them. I am 41, and still don’t regret not having them.

Answer 10

my husband and i have decided not to have kids for now and the next 5-6 years for many reasons. i am in school and work full time, and after school i want to get my career going and be set for a while, and he is in the army, and doesnt have much time to spend with family, and i didnt think i could do the whole pregnancy and raising kids by myself (but i applaud those women who can). and even after the army and my career get settled, we would rather adopt a child who really desperatly wants a loving home.