I'm 19 and I have a major cursing problem. How can I stop?

Question

I'm 19 and I have a major cursing problem. Every time I get mad at anything, even tiny things, I'll say the f word. I use the s word as a synonym for 'stuff' and also as an expletive. I curse at my parents, I curse at my brother, and at myself. I hate this, my family hates it, and I'm sure God doesn't like it either. I'm sick of embarrassing the family, yet I can't seem to stop.
Before anyone asks, I do have Asperger's syndrome, as well as a TEENY touch of tourette's (not swearing related, and more to do with hyper-sensitivity on my skin).
What can I do? I can't get myself to use a rubber band snap on my wrist, I can't bring myself to use a swear jar. My parents send me to my room and have threatened to turn me out. I am at my wit's end here trying to stop. What can I do?

Answer 1

Oh my god I am 13 and have the exact same problems!

Don't stop cussing all at once. Just cut out one word at a time - the F word, the S word, the D word, etc. Think about the way it sounds when other people cuss. Does that bother you at all?

As silly as this sounds it helps to chew gum when you get mad and feel a cussing urge come on. :) Make a list of as many substitutes as possible to use in place of the words.

Do you cuss when telling people how you feel? Like, "I can't believe you f**-g did that?" Instead find a civil way to confront them about the situation. You will earn more respect handling situations calmly.

Try rewarding yourself. If you go a day without cussing - favorite chocolate bar. A week - go to a movie. A month - get a new computer game. Or something along those lines. That's what I do but you older teens probably do that stuff all the time anyway.

Another thing that helps is to stop using cuss words in your heads. People often think in a pattern similar to the way they speak. Try to think logically instead of emotionally. You sound pretty smart from the way you type and I think you would sound even smarter without using cusswords, huh?

If you can get a tape recorder and record yourself talking throughout the day. Play it back and note your reaction. Do you really want to sound like that? More than the cussing. What about your speech patterns, the tone of your voice? Do those bother you too? I bet most people would cringe if they knew what they sound like, lol. I know I sure did!!

Best of luck,
Judy

Answer 2

I know you say you can't bring yourself to it, but have a cursing jar!! If you really think this your swearing is a problem and truley want to stop, then it can work. if you cuss as much as you say so, then you will be affected by the money you lose. everytime you curse, put 1$ into a cursing jar that you will donate to a good cause. As you curse less and less begin putting larger amounts into the jar (this week, maybe one dollar, next week, maybe five) until you stop. Once you think you have reached your goal, keep the jar but put 20$ to each curse. This is a sure-fire way to prevent cursing if you are serious about it.

you could also have someone in your family or a close friend be willing to everytime they see you in a bad mood tell you a phrase, like "just calm down" and if they hear you swear, they make you remove yourself from the situation.

PRAY!! it really does work!

Answer 3

I've quit smoking and I've quit swearing - and by far swearing was harder. Both are dirty habits.

I needed to learn so that when I was on the phone with customers I wouldn't lose my cool or cause issues.

Learning to control your anger, and to not allow people to push your buttons is the beginning. Taking control over you - when you thought you were already in control is an awakening, at least it was for me.

Begin by learning when you can and when you can't. Around your family is a huge undertaking. I love my family, but they created the buttons - so they know how and when to push them.

Also, try to find acceptable words to replace the swear ones - and try to only use those when you can't hold back.

Baby steps - but it can be done. Deep breaths and prayer helped me hugely.

It can be done and you can do it!

Answer 4

I'm on the spectrum myself, and it's hard to control emotions. I just go to a place where I can be alone and let loose with the cursing. It's okay if you do it by yourself. By the way, Asperger's comes with certain sensory sensitivities, including light, sound, and touch (my sensory sensitivities are all sound, like train whistles, power tools, etc.).

Answer 5

How's this? Work on your vocabulary. Use a dictionary or a thesaurus to learn a new word every day. Use the new word instead of the old one until it becomes second nature, then go on to the second, etc. I had a friend once who used to say "Oh, nation" because her religion wouldn't let her say damn. There are lots of euphimisms like Shucks, fiddlesticks, that have made it into our language to replace other terms. Because I was a teacher I had to be sure that "naughty" words didn't creep into my vocabulary. One of my favorites, still is "Rats! Or, make up a word of your own. Words are only collections of sounds. They only have meanings that we give them. The "f" word at one time was perfectly acceptable in old English until it started to take on new meanings. The word itself never changed, just the meaning people gave it.Using it is a crutch and a lazy way to express yourself. I still recommend getting cozy with your dictionary and find some new words to replace the old ones. You could put your new words in your "swear jar", and everyday pull one out as your word of the day. If you slip, fine yourself by finding 5 more words to put in the jar, especially if they are silly and meaningless. Obviously, punishment doesn't work, so reward yourself any time you manage to substitute one of your new words. A day at a time, please. This isn't going to happen overnight.

Answer 6

I have a young Aspy's son... I can relate to your condition.

You have to repeat to yourself "I will not swear" over and over. This starts the conditioning process of being conscious of your behavior. Next, write a list of explitives that have hard phonetic sounds like the F word. Fudge has long been a staple. The hard "F" sound accompanied by the "DGE" helps edify the need to exclaim. My mother never found swearing in English edifying, but I can tell you the worst words in Polish to this day!!!!

Sometimes drawing out sarcasm helps. For example, if I would hit my toe on something and look stupid (as that's not hard to do) I would of course shout "Oooh, I hope I can do that again later because it felt so delightful!" Sometimes I would sing it out because of all the air in my lungs from the gasp of crushing my toe nail up and backwards. (oh yes, yummy!)

Any behavior change my Aspby (pet name for Aspberger's, because it sounds like @$$ burger) son makes, uses a kinestetic action, like writing or out loud repeating. Also, since you have faith in God, pray. Pray and ask him to help you recondition your mind to use words that are kind and helpful, even when things suck!

Answer 7

ok it would not make sence to me, you're 23 years previous no longer a baby. If she is often hitting you and abusing you teach your mum and dad the marks. call the police officers, you're scared, concentration on it. in case you could flow at your house of residing, then walk to the door and lock her out, in some unspecified time sooner or later she has to flow ou you're giving her the skill over you.

Answer 8

well it sounds since you can't self-motivate yourself to stop..you need someone else significant in your life to help motivate you...maybe a close friend since your family can't help you you to stop..every time you want to curse think of something that means more to you..is there a girl you have your eye on...think of her every time you want to curse...my friend has tourettes and she comes up with alternate words to say instead of the f word..ha it sounds kinda weird but instead of a cuss words she says peanut butter ..but it works for her..just pick a random word you can say instead..good luck
~daisy

Answer 9

well not sure if the swear jar is where u put money in but my brother used a jar duck taped and super glued on lid everytime he cussed or anyone else in his house cussed they put a quarter in the jar when the jar got filled he took it to a local school to help with whatever they needed...... you can help yourself and others with this but has to be set in stone that u are anyone in ur home places a quarter n it when they cuss

Answer 10

You could get rid of this permanently if you surrender your life to Jesus Christ. He is the only one that an set you free and bring about a total change in your life.
So, why don't you give my Lord a try? His success rate is guaranteed!