I don't mind if my husband goes out with the fellas. I trust him COMPLETLY.I'm not worried about him cheating. And I've hung out all of his friends before and all they do is drink beer and talk trash to each other(yawwn...boring!) So I choose to stay home. I understand that guys NEED time with their guy friends... I get that. I was just wondering what you guys think is a good hour for your loved one to return home. I tell my man 3:30 but he acts like it's not enough time!! I called him up at 4am this morning and he told me "I'm leaving right now!" I told him "you know you gotta give me a ride to work tomarrow at 9:45 cause my car's messing up!" and he said "yeah baby I know...I'll still be able get up and take you!" So I said "that's not the point! We agreed you would come home at 3:30 so I wouldn't have to worry about you getting a DUI or getting to drunk to drive." "Baby I'm not too drunk! I knew I was gonna get in trouble! I'm on my way home." He came home. was i wrong to be upset?
2007-08-12 08:36:15 · 13 answers · asked by tookoolfool 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OH! and by the way he was to hung over to get up to take me to work and I had to drive myself! I'm mad but I don't want to be a nag!
2007-08-12 08:37:42 · update #1
Like you, I trust my husband completely. If my husband wants to go out with the guys, I don't care. If he wants to go see strippers, I don't care. He also gives me the same exact freedoms. What's good for the goose, blahblahblah. If he wants to stay out til 4am, cool. The only thing I ask is if he tells me he'll be home at 2, please have the courtesy to call if it's not gonna work out. I'm not gonna trip, however, if I have to sit and worry for hours because I haven't heard from him, then yeah, I'm gonna be upset. So yeah, you've got the right to be upset, but I wouldn't dwell on it. Sounds to me like you've got a pretty good guy. I would let him know I was upset, and then let it go. At least you have trust, alot of relationships aren't lucky enough to have trust and understanding that you don't have to be around each other every waking hour to be happy.
2007-08-12 09:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by honey_pott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No..no, you're not a nag you're a pushover and being a bit naive. I'm sorry 3:30am?? WTF? First of all what the hell is he doing that he needs to come home that late? What can be so f*cking fun with his guy pals that he needs to come home that late?? Uhhhh STRIP CLUBS ARE OPEN TIL 4am!!! And yes this is also something guys enjoy doing together. A reasonable hour for your husband to be home would be 12am, and that's assuming he leaves the house by 8. I'm 31 years old and I'm not a kid, but when my boyfriend (of almost 3 years) goes out he's home by 12am and if it's any later I will be a b*tch, nag, and anything else. He knows better. 99% of the time I go with him, not because I'm insecure but because he asks me too and we enjoy each others company. You're too easy on him, I can only imagine how often he does this. He isn't even having any respect for you, coming home all late and he can't even take you to work. It's all about what you're willing to put up with. And it sounds like more than what the average wife would.
2007-08-12 08:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not diminishing your concerns, but relax a little. Sometimes I like to drink wine with my girlfriends until 5am! Your husband and his buddies should pick a designated driver and then there's no reason to worry about DUI.
Yes bars and strip clubs are open late, but if he were going to cheat on you he could do it just as easily at 11pm as 4am, so there's no reason to be less secure in the wee hours.
You can probably influence his behavior more by acting relieved that he's home in one piece and expressing how worried you were about his safety (and how much you love him). Telling him when to be home will only make him want to stay out later. Never order your man around like a child-- he'll rebel.
2007-08-12 09:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are not a nag, I think a reasonable time to come in is about 2:30 because here where I live, the clubs get out a 2a.m. there is no reason for him to be coming in past 2:30.
2007-08-12 09:06:09 · answer #4 · answered by lwomar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason anyone needs to stay out until the bars close - and especially AFTER the bars close - I would not even allow my husband to be in a bar past maybe 10 p.m. - there are other non "pick-up girls" type places "the boys" can and should meet, I'm not going to set myself for trouble by giving him the room to play - - you give him the room to mess up by letting him drink all night - that's on you honey - enjoy!
2007-08-12 09:06:32 · answer #5 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been here, done this! My husband and I finally came to an agreement that if we chose a time for him (or i) to be home and we are going to be late that we need to call home before we are late (ex if we are suppose to be at 1 and we are going to be late you need to call by 1). the other part is that we have commitments the next day, we need to stick to them. so if you want to stay out until 3am-call to say you are going to be late and then be prepared to get up and take care of business the next day. Also, we need to decide if we are coming home before we go out so the other will not worry about drining and driving.
2007-08-12 08:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-10 01:56:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its different for every couple, but 130 seems to work for my hubby and i, and its not about being out late getting drunk or going to strip clubs or anything, its just that from the times that we go out together, thats about the time we end up home, so why should it be different if we are apart. but you have to both agree on whats right for your relationship and make sure that both parties stick to it!
2007-08-12 11:44:52 · answer #8 · answered by gina.alvarez1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that dude is garbage. I usually meet once a week a with a couple of buds for beers... if it's a friday, i usually make it back by midnight... but definitely would not be out late if I had to drive her to work the next day.
2007-08-12 10:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by The Smart One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i tell my hubby that if he isn't in the house by 2am that i better be getting a phone call. all the bars around here close at 1:45am so that is plenty of time to get home also. there really is no need to hang out anymore after that. but we have children, so it might be different for us.
2007-08-12 09:00:26 · answer #10 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋