i caught my husband jerking off?

Question

i understand it's normal for people to want to get off. But he's always told me that he doesn't need to do it he has me.. i've even asked him several times and he would say no in like a mad voice. he also says he doesnt look at porn. i just dont believe all this. its been almost 6 years that we've been together......so today my children and i were out buying a new hamster he came home early from work and i went up stairs and bam there he was. i didn't know what was going on at first until i saw my hand cream in his haneds and all over his dick! LOL i walk in alot with him naked but this time he looked funny and i said are you kerking off and he said with a funny look yeah... LOL with that i shut the door. i was actually stunned! Sort of upset too, i mean why lie all these years about it? is there something wrong did he just start doing it? am i not enough for him anymore.. i don't know.

some of you knew what ui was talking about but most didn'T.I KNOW ITS NORAML TO JERK OFF AS IT IS FOR WOMEN TO TOUCH THEMSELVES TOO.

some of you knew what ui was talking about but most didn'T.I KNOW ITS NORAML TO JERK OFF AS IT IS FOR WOMEN TO TOUCH THEMSELVES TOO. I'M NOT SAYING I DONT DO IT MYSELF AND HE KNEW I DID.. WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE AND HE WOULD GET MAD AT ME everyone once in a while he would hide it from me and would tell me it was like cheating.. you people dont understand he made me feel all these years that i was doing something wrong, bad and he would say he doesnt do it?? come on.. then i walked in and saw him? well yes i was shocked.,. later on i went in and talked with him about it. i said well how is it fair that you can do this but i cant? all these years you made me feel dirty and we couldnt talk about it but its alright for you? doesnt sound fair.. he said he was embarressed to tell me.. i've given him chances to tell me. so then it makes me think wow what else does he lie about. i'm not mad just shocked. so guys calm down i do give him a break! hes just a liar!~!

i'm sorry when i wrote hide it from me i meant my vibrator.. he would only want me to use it when i was with him......

Answer 1

nothing wrong with that, .... he probably just didn't want to get u upset by telling you he does it. a lot of women get upset when they find out there guy jerks off when they're not around. you should of just gone up to him and asked him if he wanted u to finish him off....i'm sure he would of loved that...........lol, or you could of asked him if he wanted to borrow the hamster....i'm jk

Answer 2

The only real problem in the whole thing is that if the guy knows that looking at porn is hurting his wife/partner, then he should try to stop, or at the very least, talk to her about it and try to see her side. It's not the looking at the porn that's bad, it's disregarding her feelings, which justified or not, count. But then again... there may be nothing wrong with a man watching porn. Men like naked women. that's it, kind of how women like to shop, men like to watch naked women. They know what they have at home, and they know what they can only window shop for. It's not cheating, while most men would initially think the idea of being with a porn star is a great one, once they use their "real" brain, they know that is not the type of woman they want to marry and have a family with. Maybe there is nothing wrong with it and can be quite helpful in maintaining a healthy relationship. Can be addicting though. Some get addicted to it. Its a brain thing. The hypothaulmus creates neuro-protiens (neuro-peptides) which are chemical protiens created to deliver messages to cells throughout the body. The cells then become addicted to the neuro-peptides that they recieve more of. Hence = chemical addiction to chemicals produced by their own brain. You probably don't really fit into the equasion, since you are responsible for him creating different neuro-peptides, which he is also addicted to

Answer 3

I think he's been doing both of you a disservice by lying about it. It may be an embarrassment thing for him, I know that a lot of guys get embarrassed about masturbation (though I can't figure out why). I hate to sound like I'm making assumptions but in my experience; Any man that says he doesn't jerk off is lying. I walked in on my husband at 3am watching porn on the computer once. I was really embarrassed but then also upset too because he didn't wake me up! I would have been glad to help him out! ;-)

Answer 4

Personally I find it amusing that 15 out of 20 of your answers are from women who honestly believe that they have the 100% correct answer. When the correct answer is that litterally everyone does it at one time or another. Are you saying that you have never done it? Yeah right. So you walked in on him. So what? At least he wasnt doing your sister, best friend or neighbor! He was in the privacy of his own home doing something that he felt a need for. Maybe it is you that needs to bone up (so to speak) on some sexual maybe's between you and your husband. Although I doubt very much that you or a lack of sexual desire for you had a thing to do with it. He simply was alone and felt the need. Why not break out one of your hidden toys and share an episode with him? It just may turn you on more than you know.

Answer 5

I had to laugh when i read your title. I caught my husband once in the shower, and the guilty look on his face was priceless. Caught with a hand in the cookie jar. My husband never lied about it, though. Perhaps your husband is just ashamed? His parents may have instilled something different in him that made him ashamed or embarassed to admit it to you? It is nothing for you to feel badly about. It isn't that you're not doing it for him anymore, i truly think it is a normal thing for all guys to do. He obviously feels bad about doing it, so I wouldn't make him feel bad about it. Gauge his reaction to it all, and see if you think it is appropriate to laugh it off. If you can tease him gently about it and show that you aren't judging him, maybe he'll be more open with you about it, and anything else he might be hiding.

Answer 6

he lied!!!!

the below is meant to be inquisitive not to accuse you.

please consider from the below perspective.


do you have a 100 page imaginary procedure on how he can get some from you?

do you let him take it his way, or, any which way sometimes.

sometimes a man can have an emergency situation. if he tries to get some from you and you pull out the procedures manual on him, that's a show stopper.

you may not know it but a man could look at junk mail or hear the phone ring and get motivated. if he has to slow down to be intimate the moment may be lost. i am not suggesting for one minute that any man should not prepare his wife.

but we all need to examine ourselves to see if we are part of the problem and what we can do to improve.

do you ever masturbate. have you ever masturbated?

was it satisfying, if yes to to either of the above, then know why he is doing it.

you sound as if masturbation is a serious criminal activity. it is not.

you sound like masturbation is sinful, it may be , i am not sure. god said we should be fruitful and multiply!

you sound like a kind ms. marple prude, try to be more down to earth. maybe if you stayed in the bathroom and check your husband it might have started some new and different.

suggest you maybe try to be a little more nasty in the bedroom.

you should try making lust filled, raunchy, passionate, unrestricted love with the husband.

then maybe he would hit on you more and stop hitting his meat.

what do you think?

i bet he must have felt pretty stupid.

big, tall long leg women to work on and him working on himself. d*mnnnnn.

Answer 7

Maybe he was just embarrassed to admit it all those years. When I was a teen there was a girl in our crowd that was very open with her opinion on guys jerking off, she claimed it was "gay". At that time none of the guys I knew admitted to doing it so I thought I was odd. Of course now I know it's common and normal but things from your past will affect you for a long time. Many women still don't admit to masturbating. You should've never hounded him about it in the first place. Why did it matter anyway?

Answer 8

the whole reason that he didn't tell you that he did it in the first place is you. you see it as a personal attack against you because why would he do that if he has you. the guy was jerking off, who cares?! he was doing it for years before you, he does it now, and he will probably do it until the day he dies. it has nothing to do with you or the way that he feels about you. get over it. little things like this destroy marriages.

Answer 9

Haven't you ever seen the commercial where the lady with the big a$$ puts on a tight dress and says "How do I look in this honey"??? Sometimes, men KNOW when to keep their mouths shut! LOL!

And, he was prolly right, cuz here you are, freakin out. But instead of making it a bad thing.... go home, undress, lay in front of him, take care of yourself, and ask him to do the same as he watches you. You'll be suprised, this is one heck of a turn on for many couples.

And to quote a phrase I heard scuba diving: "There are those who pee in their wetsuit, and there are those who lie about it......"

And honestly, can YOU say you've never 'roamed' yourself while alone?

Seriously, make a sport of it and have fun... don't be uptight about it. :)

Answer 10

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
i caught my husband jerking off?
i understand it's normal for people to want to get off. But he's always told me that he doesn't need to do it he has me.. i've even asked him several times and he would say no in like a mad voice. he also says he doesnt look at porn. i just dont believe all this. its been almost 6...

Answer 11

I love that Woody Allen line 'don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love'. My guess is he's always done it, it's lonesome for him and he feels guilty about it. Why not treat him sweetly and the next time you're alone together initiate a hand job for him? Let him know that you love him and nothing will ever change that.

Watch and see if that doesn't put some spark between the two of you.