ing college and now he wants to go to a university that is an hour away and live in an apartment while I work and pay the bills. I know he has sacrificed for us by working crappy jobs and even supporting me for six months while I went to school to complete my bachelor's degree. I went to a campus locally, and it just does not sit well with me that I will only see my husband on the weekends. He says I am very negative person, which I can be but who wants their husband to be away from them like that, am I being selfish? He says this is a chance of a lifetime opportunity he will be working part time at his college and going to school full time while working on his master's degree. I suppoert him going back to school but I am uncomfortable with him living on campus. Help me
2007-08-12 07:15:39 · 10 answers · asked by sugar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seems like you and your husband don't have the same priorities.
Go to a marriage counselor with or without him.
Maybe your marriage can be saved but it needs some outside help.
2007-08-12 07:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With all the little college girls waiting to have sex at parties I would worry too. I recently graduated and I think your husband should not live there. On the other hand, he said he doesnt like that you are negative and that he wants to live apart from you in another city. You don't need help. You need to wake up.
He probably has not grown up yet and want to do things he should not be doing.
I think you should tell him he can go but he has to support himself totally and you will support yourself totally.. OR he can live with you and go to the local campus and go to school. Remind him there are many online courses he can take. There is no excuse for him to live elsewhere without you and you pay his rent and food and everything AND for his college. I tell you, by paying his electric bill and food bills you might even be supporting some girls he has sex with in the apartment you pay for. Tell him you are married now, he needs to be living with his wife. Remind him you lived WITH him while you finished school. No way should he be around college girls!
I want to tell you, he is probably going to say some very bad things to you and about you. But if he does.. it is possible he didn't really love you when you both got married.
When I get married I will make it clear we either live together ALL the time or there will be no marriage.
Oh, and if he is right about you being negative, it would not change my opinion about what you should do. He knew what you were like when he married you. If he changes his mind now, then he probably will never have much of a mind anyway.
2007-08-12 07:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be very difficult. The problem is that if you stand in the way of his dreams, he'll come to resent you. This is further complicated by the fact that he supported you while you got your bachelor's degree. True you went to a local campus but the fact still remains.
One of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life went to school not 1 but 3 hours away from her husband to finish up her degree. He supported her, she lived in the dormatory--in fact that's where I met her. She was my dorm mate. They are still very happily married, they travel together and are still very much in love and the college episode happened 16 years ago.
If he is trustworthy then there should be no problem. Yes it will be hard. But right now it's still just the two of you so it won't be quite as hard as it could be.
2007-08-12 07:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An hour away isn't far! I've lived in the oil field for many years. Our husbands would drive up to 3 hours one way to get home every day after doing a 12 hour shift!
There must not be a school right there I take it? Can't you move with him?.
He did let you get schooling, maybe it is your turn to give instead of take? Selfish.....not sure I'd use that word, but many folks travel an hour each day back and forth. there has to be a compromise.
2007-08-12 07:27:32 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing good that will come of this. Nothing!!! This scenario should not be acceptable to either of you. He is a married man with a wife, there is no reason he should get an apartment during the week on a college campus. Trust me...BAD IDEA!!! You two need to sit down and work out another solution.
2007-08-12 07:20:21 · answer #5 · answered by Katie G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is going through a certain mid-life crisis, although it sure is a lot easier going to college and studying than it is actually having to produce in the business world today. If he wants to go to university and he did support while you did, then say, okay fine, we are both going to move, together, to the university town (they have jobs there too).
From this point on make sure ALL of your suggestions are positive ones and make sure you stay together, or he is going to be out the door, he is half way out already.
2007-08-12 07:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason he cant go to a local school? Why don't you both just move to the city where he wants to go to school?
2007-08-12 07:21:31 · answer #7 · answered by dulcericanbaby 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't both move there? This seems like a no brainer.
2007-08-12 07:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is him that is being selfish and if you dont already have kids - DONT
2007-08-12 07:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont let him go. all those sexy loose drunk women on campus ?? i see trooooooobleeeeeeeeeeeeee
2007-08-12 07:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋