I got involved with one of my old professors who is 30+ years older than me. I didnt know he was married, but ended it as soon as I found out. Now im left with the aftermath, and things are becoming very clear. I see him at school, and I feel so used/manipulated. Im almost unable to function. I dont know what to do, but I fear that he will do this to some other girl.
I feel very stronly that I need to let his wife know what is going on while he is at "work" so that it never happens again, and so that I can move on with peace in my mind. I already spoke to a counciler at the college and they told me there is nothing they can do about it since it was consenting and since i was not his student at the time.
Please help!! I really dont want this to happen to anyone else, but I know that it will if i dont do something to stop it. (and i know its happened before...he has a system down pat).
Do you think telling his wife is the right way to go, and if so...how?
2007-08-12 06:20:56 · 9 answers · asked by wandering aimlessly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am sure this is common practice for him, and I am also sure his wife knows what he is doing, too.
Walk away from this, and chalk this up to a lesson learned. Telling his wife is only the vindictive part of you coming out, which is natural. You are hurt, and want him to hurt, too. But you will hurt his wife more, and she is also an innocent victim. Show some class, hold your head up high, and walk with pride. You have matured with this terrible experience, and maybe can use it to help another girl in the future. I hope I just did.....
2007-08-12 06:30:25 · answer #1 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell his wife. If she has been married to him for any length of time she knows what he is. No sense rubbing her nose in it. She is the true innocent party in all of this. Next time you get involved with someone make sure you really know them before you get too involved. I doubt it would have taken too much detective work to find out he was married BEFORE you hooked up with him. This is just one of those learning experiences we all suffer through in life. Learn what you need from the experience then move on and forget the old fart. After all, he was 30 years older then you. The chances it would have lasted, even had he been single, were not all that great. Agree?
2007-08-12 06:31:42 · answer #2 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I personally think you should tell someone. You are worried that someone else might be next, or that his wife dosn't know. So I would tell your parents if they don't know, tell his wife, let her know what happened that you feel used and, just let her know exactly how you feel, and let her know you don't want this in the news or any thing. People make mistakes, it is never too late to right your wrongs.
2007-08-12 07:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel used? You had consensual sex with him. Did you ask if he was married? Usually men that old are. And you have no idea what his circumstances are. Maybe his wife knows he fools around but just doesn't want to know for sure. You had sex with him because you wanted to. And I'm also sure you enjoyed it. So now you want to ruin his life and hers. Nice.
2007-08-12 06:42:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a dumb gal to have fallen for such things.But you are right,since you do not want other potential victims to fall prey,better report this to his wife.Tell her everything,in minutest of details.Tell her why you are reporting.Tell her she should stop her husband from such acts in future.In case you are brave enough to face,inform the authorities that he has misbehaved with you.Such characters need to be brought out in the open so that they do not exploit others.If possible inform your family members also.
2007-08-12 06:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by MrKnow_All 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOD BECKY. How many times are you going to ask this question?????
It is the ONLY question you've asked and you've asked it 5 times. What answer are looking for?
The dude did you and dumped you. Join the crowd.
Tell his wife. Don't tell his wife. Who cares.
Go and get some counselling and get over it.
2007-08-12 06:53:43 · answer #6 · answered by Ced 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His wife probably already knows about it. Telling her would only put you on both her and his bad sides. Warning another of his "conquests" before she gets sucked in is allowable, but she may not believe you. Hopefully, you can avoid taking any of his classes. Trust me, he is not fooling anyone.
2007-08-12 06:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY TO TALK TO HIS WIFE SLOWLY AND MAKE HER UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE TELLING IT TO HER.
2007-08-12 06:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was good though!
2007-08-12 06:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋