i'm having a baby boy in october. he's half white, half hispanic. my family has been making jokes since day one. at first i laughed along and didn't think much about it. now the jokes keep coming and they are starting to get pretty harsh. i've told them that they need to watch what they say b/c i don't want my little boy to feel treated differently than anyone else. some of the comments offend me alot and i've told them that but it doesn't seem to stop. any suggestions? it's starting to stress me out and i have enough things to worry about. help!
2007-08-12 05:52:27 · 16 answers · asked by redneckqueen19 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
****forgot to mention that my brother and his wife are expecting a baby a week earlier than mine. so far, everyone has done nothing but bought for their baby and frankly, all you hear about is their baby. it's like mine is put on the back burner because he's not going to be full white
2007-08-12 06:06:22 · update #1
It's hard to distance yourself from racist comments when your family thinks that way, and especially if the area you live in is heavily segregated. Obviously you must have known that there would be some issues if you got involved with someone of a different culture as yourself. Were there comments made when you were dating the father?
In the end, you need to put your foot down with your family and tell them that if they care about you and the baby, they will respect the fact that they can't make those comments. And if they can't respect that, you need to distance the child from those people for his own good. The last thing you want is for your boy to grow up thinking that he's trash because he's bi-racial. he needs to be loved because he's part of the family, not ostracized because he's different.
Good Luck.
2007-08-12 06:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by firebugarts 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your question infuriates me at your family. I almost wish I had control over your mouth during one of their idiotic, bigot, ignorant episodes so that I can give them a piece of my mind. I am usually pretty good at predicting how something like that is going to turn out. They are going to emotionally abuse your child. I know you probably love your family and want to share what is supposed to be a happy joyous time with your family but trust me when I say that is not going to happen. You might want to give them more chances or hope it will stop when the baby gets here but it's not. You've already expressed that it hurts you and they have basically responded with the fact that they don't give a sh**. Once that baby comes you have to think about him and his emotional well being over your own or anyone elses. I know it might be hard but I would go straight to the main ones or call them or even write them a letter and tell them that you've warned them and it didn't work. so therefore to prevent the possibility of emotionally damaging your baby, you are cutting ties with them until they can show that they will hold their tongue. Tell them not to contact you until they know they can do that. Trust me when I say it's for the best. If they care anything about having you in their life then they will do that. If they don't then you don't need them anyway. Sorry if my answer is so harsh on your family but I'm due october 2 to give birth to my baby boy and i'll rot in hell before I let anybody say one word against him.
2007-08-12 06:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I noticed in your entry that you laughed at first, this may have sent a message to your family that their jokes were okay. I would reccommend sitting down with them and having a serious discussion about your worries. Some families show their love for each other by making jokes or being funny. You need to let your family know that what was once considered somewhat bad, is now really becomming a problem. If then the problem still persists you need to start thinking about what is going to be best for you and your child. My famiily is very similar to yours and I eventually had to stop talking to my family for them to get the hint. Eventually we worked it out and I hope your family will as well.
I wish you the best.
2007-08-12 06:01:17 · answer #3 · answered by a0jacob1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My family felt the same way at first, always calling my unborn child "Pepe", thinking it was funny. I let it go, knowing how everything is a joke to them. Once the baby was born, they fell so in love with their granddaughter, the jokes stopped altogether.
So all I can say is you can't change how others behave. Don't let it get to you. Once the baby is born, if their behavior doesn't change, limit the time they spend with the baby and explain why. Chances are, they will want to spend time with their new addition, and the comments will stop.
2007-08-12 06:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They are probably not okay with the fact that your child is going to be biracial. They are hiding how disappointed they are at you by making "innocent" jokes. That is very unfair to you and your child. Try not to think about what they are saying.. some people are just rude and unaccepting. This is YOUR child and YOUR responsibility. If they don't learn to accept your child for who he is, then they don't need to be part of his life. If they continued when he was old enough to understand what was going on, it could traumatize him. He will feel unwanted. Give your child as much love as you can and who gives a crap what other people say!
2007-08-12 06:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by Holy Macaroni! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know from experience that unless your family is a bunch of cold hearted s.o.b.s, it will get better once the baby is born. No matter what he's their grandson, nephew, cousin or whatever and once they see him they will love him. It takes a monster to mistreat a child.
In the meantime I say let your family know how you feel. Chances are since you laughed in the beginning they think it's not affecting you.
2007-08-12 06:54:51 · answer #6 · answered by KN21212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's horrible ~ I can't believe your own family would do this to you. You need NOT to stress, because stress not only effects you, but also your baby. You need to worry about yourself and your baby, and stay away from people who are going to be disrespectful; because as long as your happy and so is your happy, that's all that will ever matter to you. Your babies well being.
Good Luck
2007-08-16 05:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them if they can not curtail comments that could possibly hurt your child's self-esteem and make him feel like less of a human because of their so-called "harmless comments", they will not have any contact with the child, period. Tell them it is your responsibility as a parent to protect them from negative racial slander, even if it's coming from your own family.
2007-08-12 06:00:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you told them that if they arent going to treat your baby with dignity that they wont be involved in his life they will stop being so rude to you! I would tell them taht and leave and not be around them anymore. I wish you tons of luck and hope that you get some respect! Congrats on your baby to be! : )
2007-08-12 06:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by kaytee3212 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
regardless of his or her colour he or she is your child, and your role as a mother has already begun, if you do not defend your child no one else will, i would tell them firmly that you take offence to their behaviour and do not see how the funny side of your child being put down due to his race. i would avoid contact with them as much as possible, they may not really mean to be offensive,its a hard situation to be in, but i am sure you will do the right thing for you and your child. good luck.
2007-08-12 06:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by hhutchie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋