Here’s the deal folks. I’m a bartender. I’m also happily married. Last night, a gorgeous woman was at my bar all night. We were chatting the entire time. When she left, just before closing time, she slips me a Twenty with her phone number on it. I tell her I’m married but thank her for the flattering advance. She says that’s cool and asks me to join her for a dance at her favourite club downtown after I close up and leaves.
I didn’t go. I went home to my wife. Now, is a dance with someone like this cheating. I wouldn’t have let it gone any further than that. I just didn’t want to take the chance. Even flirting with her all night made me feel guilty. Was I over reacting or was I right to not take up her offer and have a dance with her?
In the end result, I’m happy and proud of myself for coming home to my wife.
2007-08-12 05:27:08 · 63 answers · asked by Dr. E. Bunny A.K.A. Andy. 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I'm proud of you that you came home, too. But come on, surely your own common sense tells you the answer to your own question. You know what this gal was up to. You say if you had gone you would never have let it go further than "just an innocent dance" You want us to believe you would have got in your car, gone all across town to this club she was going to be at, late at night, pop in there, say "Hi" have a quick dance, and then tell her "goodnight" and off you go home.. Not even a quick little ole scotch on the rocks, sweetie? Lateness of hour, low lights and soft music, some alcohol and a woman playing "easy to get". Not even a robot would be immune to that combination and you know it.
Besides, what if it had been the other way around and your wife had been in that situation with some buff, handsome guy giving her the come-on. Would that be just as OK for the goose, Mr. Gander? lolol
2007-08-12 05:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You did right and you know it.
Going to another place to dance with the woman would have been really stepping over the line, but you said flirting with her all night made you feel guilty. There's your answer right there. It would have been cheating. If your wife wouldn't have liked it (she wouldn't have), it would have been cheating. You wouldn't like your wife to do the it, would you? Wouldn't you want her to have come home to you rather than go dance with some guy she'd been flirting with?
There could be different forms of dancing, too. A fast dance with no body contact other than the hands is one thing, but a slow, embracing dance definitely carries sexual connotations. You were definitely not overreacting, and none of us have any guarantee that even if we may believe we wouldn't let it go "any further than that" some situation might come up we hadn't expected that would push us closer to the point of no return, etc.
Too bad more wives don't have husbands like you. What you did last night was an example of true masculinity, the kind that endures to the end.
2007-08-12 06:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by ecc451 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr. E Bunny...Even though technically your not cheating by just accepting the dance, if I was your wife and found out about the dance, whether by you or someone else, I'd be a little concerned or upset. Just because it could lead to something else, especially given the circumstances (a single women in a bar asking a man, who is the bartender, to dance isn't really an innocent invitation, in my opinion).
I'm think you did the right thing. Your wife is very lucky to have such a good Bunny! :)
2007-08-12 16:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty - then you're doing something wrong!
I believe you can be polite to someone, without flirting. Be friendly to the opposite sex without being too friendly. However, many people believe flirting is harmless - I disagree. If I saw my partner flirting with someone else, i'd be upset.
It definitely depends on the type of dance too, I went to a wedding and danced with a friends boyfriend. It was in no way romantic, it was just fun and he enjoyed dancing. But while your wife is not there AND specifically going to meet this other girl for a dance.....it would definitely be the wrong type of dance
You're very right not to go to the club and dance with her. From your questions and answers I know just how much your partner means to you - would you really want to risk all that just so you could dance with a stranger?
2007-08-12 15:36:04 · answer #4 · answered by Miss*Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably would be considered cheating on the terms that she gave you her number and invited you to a different club and wanted you to dance with her then what after that. It is a good thing that you didn't go. Nothing wrong with her talking to you at your job or even if she was to dance with you for a little bit at the bar you work at as long as it wasn't out of hand or whatever. Basically think if your wife was right there watching you what would she think of your actions. It says alot about you tho that you went home to the wifey. I don't think dancing with another woman is cheating tho but you do have to wonder what would happen after that with alcohol and such.
2007-08-12 05:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by biking for life 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing for sure! Good for you. As far as cheating I'm not sure, I don't think it would have been a good thing, especially to have meet her somewhere else. Flirting is well, natural, in a way I guess. And in your line of work how else are you goina get good tips right?! And another great thing you did was telling her you were married and if you would have went she could have gotten the wrong idea. Again you did the right thing, your wife would have been proud of you.
2007-08-12 05:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by 0 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
wow! i'm impressed with you! i think u got a very good head on ur shoulder and that ur wife is very lucky to have u! seriously!
well, for me (even if i'm not married yet) i'd hate to know my husband go and dance with another girl. i mean, it's allright if its in a formal ceremony or some folks dance or something..but right now, we're talking about dancing in a club, late at night. anything could happen. especially if the gal is a super babe..
she is absolutely seducing u..it's a good decision u've made. and u deserve to be proud for it! good going mate! and keep it up! i'm rooting for u!
2007-08-12 05:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by ayiesha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for making the decent decision. The woman at the bar was just a slick, easy piece of... TRASH. The woman who loves you was at the place the two of you have agreed is home. Not only did you do right by your wife, but you showed yourself some major self-respect. Your wife look you in the eye and be proud. You can look yourself in the eye without fear, guilt, and shame.
Thank you for reaffirming my faith in the sanctity of marriage.
2007-08-12 05:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and I am proud of you. While it may not technically be cheating, I am sure your wife would not like it. How would you feel if this situation happened to your wife?
I am going to give you a star for doing the right thing!
2007-08-12 05:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by Running Gal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a woman that has been in a relationship 8 years.
we both worked in a club! in the beginning of our relationship.
though, he was a bouncer.
everyone liked him.
If it was the sanitation...i would be upset if he when out of his way to go to another club to dance with the woman! to me that is not cool. To me that would have been a date! with probably benefits at the end of the night.
but if she had asked to have a last dance at the club he worked, i would not effect me! bc i danced with guys all the time why is this any different?
it is not to me!
i know he will come home to me in the end!
your wife is a lucky woman if she doesn't know yet!
good luck have a wonderful life!
2007-08-12 05:40:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋