When you are in the midst of your colonoscopy, does the doc say something cute like..?

Question

here's looking up your old address? or here's looking up your ancestors?

Answer 1

We're off to see The Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of OZ or in this case A**, LOL!!!!

Answer 2

I am so out of it, that he could read the Constitution of the United States and all its amendments and I wouldn't hear him. In fact, I go out like a light, wake up with some cute Nurse cupping my face and ask if he has started yet only to be told that it has been over for an hour and to get dressed, because I can go home.

Answer 3

Actually, I have had one. I liked it so well, I bought the company and changed its name to Colonoscopy for Men Club. We offer Buy 4, Get the 5th one free-very popular! "I'm not just the owner, I'm a client too!"

Answer 4

The investigation

During the procedure the patient is often given sedation intravenously, employing agents such as midazolam or fentanyl. Although meperidine (Demerol) may be used as an alternative to fentanyl, the concern of seizures has relegated this agent to second choice for sedation behind the combination of midazolam and fentanyl. The average person will receive a combination of these two drugs, usually between 1-4 mg iv midazolam, and 25 to 100 µg iv fentanyl. Sedation practices vary between practitioners and nations; in some clinics in Norway, sedation is rarely administered. Some endocoscopists are experimenting with, or routinely use, alternative or additional methods such as nitrous oxide and propofol, which have advantages and disadvantages relating to recovery time (particularly the duration of amnesia after the procedure is complete), patient experience, and the degree of supervision needed for safe administration. This sedation is called "twilight anesthesia" and for some patients it doesn't take and they are indeed awake for the procedure and watch the inside of their colon on the color monitor.

The first step is usually a digital rectal examination, to examine the tone of the sphincter and to determine if preparation has been adequate. The endoscope is then passed though the anus up the rectum, the colon (sigmoid, descending, transverse and ascending colon, the cecum), and ultimately the terminal ileum. The endoscope has a movable tip and multiple channels for instrumentation, air, suction and light. The bowel is occasionally insufflated with air to maximize visibility. Biopsies are frequently taken for histology.

In most experienced hands, the endoscope is advanced to the junction of where the colon and small bowel join up (cecum) in under 10 minutes in 95% of cases. Due to tight turns and redundancy in areas of the colon that are not "fixed", loops may form in which advancement of the endoscope creates a "bowing" effect that causes the tip to actually retract. These loops often result in discomfort due to stretching of the colon and its associated mesentery. Maneuvers to "reduce" or remove the loop include pulling the endoscope backwards while torquing the instrument. Alternatively, body position changes and abdominal support from external hand pressure can often "straighten" the endoscope to allow the scope to move forward. In a minority of patients, looping is often cited as a cause for an incomplete examination. Usage of alternative instruments leading to completion of the examination has been investigated, including use of pediatric colonscope, push enteroscope and upper GI endoscope variants.[8]

For screening purposes, a closer visual inspection is then often performed upon withdrawal of the endoscope over the course of 20 to 25 minutes. Lawsuits over missed cancerous lesions have prompted recent institutions to better document withdrawal time as rapid withdrawal times may be a source of potential medical legal liability.[9] This is often a real concern in private practice settings where high throughput of cases have been postulated as a financial incentive to complete colonoscopies as quickly as possible.

Suspicious lesions may be cauterized, treated with laser light or cut with an electric wire for purposes of biopsy or complete removal polypectomy. Medication can be injected, e.g. to control bleeding lesions. On average, the procedure takes 20-30 minutes, depending on the indication and findings. With multiple polypectomies or biopsies, procedure times may be longer. As mentioned above, anatomic considerations may also affect procedure times.

After the procedure, some recovery time is usually allowed to let the sedative wear off. Most facilities require that patients have a person with them to help them home afterwards (again, depending on the sedation method used).

One very common aftereffect from the procedure is a bout of flatulence and minor wind pain caused by air insufflation into the colon during the procedure.

An advantage of colonoscopy over x-ray imaging or other, less invasive tests, is the ability to perform therapeutic interventions during the test. If a polyp is found, for example, it can be removed by one of several techniques. A snare can be placed around a polyp for removal. Even if the polyp is flat on the surface it can often be removed. For example, the following show a polyp removed in stages.

Cheers :)

Answer 5

I was trying to read an article in Reader's Digest...it was about a Boeing 747...it felt like it was going in! lol (now)

Answer 6

I wasn't knocked out. I watched the whole thing on the screen!

Answer 7

well since you are knocked out during a colonoscopy i doubt if you would hear anything he says.

Answer 8

thats kinda weird. i guess hes just trying to make a conversation.

Answer 9

You are unconscious while the doctor is playing up the Hershey Highway....

Answer 10

Pucker up!