I separated from my ex almost 6 years ago. We had been together for 9 years and have 2 kids together. For most of the relationship he treated me very badly and made me feel like I was worthless. i have finally moved on and found someone new, and so has he. The thing is when I see him with his new girl he treats her very well and is kind, caring and compassionate towards her. It makes me feel like there was something wrong with me because he obviously is capable of showing these emotions, yet he never treated me that way. My new man is the exact opposite and treats me like a princess, yet these feelings of inadequacy are hard to silence. Has this happened to anyone else and how did you deal with it? Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.
2007-08-12 04:36:40 · 6 answers · asked by Lostlove 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, the way you're looking at things now is one possible reason for this scenario, but let me offer you yet another one:Maybe the pain associated with losing you (or failing in a relationship with you) caused him to do some much-needed soul searching and make the changes necessary to ensure that he never ruined another relationship like that again. See, my explanation has no implied inadequacies assigned to it, and frankly is probably closer to the truth than what you came up with. I went through something similar with my ex-wife who is now involved with someone else and very much doing for him all the things she never did for me....and she enjoys telling me about it (like I'm supposed to be proud of her for it). Initially I was offended by this behavior and I took it as much of a slap in the face. Then I came to realize she wants me to be proud of her, not because she wants to rub it in my face, but because she wants to demonstrate how much she's grown and how much she's improved. So with a fair amount of skepticism I salute this process of evolution...maybe you should too. The important thing is, we're all works in progress, and we can't possibly be broken or defective if we were able to find and sustain happiness with someone else. And since we've done just that, good for all of us!
2007-08-12 04:56:17 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you only think your ex treats his new girl better. Most guys like him are super nice in public or she might be a very new girlfriend(they're always nice to start out with). You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. As far as you're feelings of inadequacy go, it's understandable. Your ex demoralized you and underminded your selfesteem. I don't know why, but, we always seem to take in the bad things people say about us more than the good. You might try some counselling to get yourself back on track. Good luck
2007-08-12 12:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your ex saw how wrong he was and has changed his ways. Maybe also since he was younger he didn't know how to treat you right. The fact that you have a man who treats you so good now proves that you are not worthless. People are very capable of changing... my husband did!!
2007-08-12 11:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by casw1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your new man treats your good??? Sweety tha's what you wanted, stop living in the past, maybe your ex grew some too, it doesn't mean that if the two of you were to get back, that he'd treat you like her. Enjoy your new man.
2007-08-12 11:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the ex is putting on an act just to bug you? Maybe the new wife told him, "You do that to me again & I'll blow your head off!"? Who knows. The important thing is your life is very good now. Blow him off. It doesn't matter.
Kent in SD
2007-08-12 11:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with you,I bet he has just learned from his past mistakes and trying to make him self a better person by treating people better
2007-08-12 11:44:24 · answer #6 · answered by michael n 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋