I have been married for 13 years. My husband had an affair 2 years ago and begged me to stay, swearing it would never happen again. about 6 months ago, I left a recorder in his truck and found out he flirts every day! yesterday he made a comment to his friend about a young girl that he would like to get her hair in his hands and "You know" Is this kind of talk normal for a married man? Does it mean he would cross the line? I am not a flirt and I dont understand this kind of behavoir.
2007-08-12 03:20:21 · 12 answers · asked by dana t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would be concerned too. Especially since you already know he has cheated before, I know men like to brag about women to other men and I think they all flirt some in their own ways. Be careful and watch the time. Is he home when he should be, what about lunch time, where is he? Does he go out with BUDDIES? A recorder is a good idea, I think.
2007-08-12 03:30:39 · answer #1 · answered by lana s 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't really see why you stayed after he cheated. I think once a cheater, always a cheater. You being with him is just making you crazy, due to the fact that you placed a recorder in his truck. Obviously you don't trust him and I don't see how a relationship can work that way. After taking him back two years ago and you still don't trust him, I'd say separate or something. I know its easier said then done though. Its not your fault either, he cheated. I'm sure there are reasons for it, but it comes down to him cheating. I don't have any experience with taking someone back after being cheated on, but its just my opinion here. Take it for what its worth. Men flirt and think about stuff like what he was saying all the time. Its just a matter of trusting him I think. Lets say that you guys were happy together, he would still talk about that stuff with his friends, but if you trusted him it wouldn't be a big deal I don't think. My condolences. Good luck
2007-08-12 03:46:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kenny F 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, everyone flirts at some time or another, and everyone thinks about how attractive and 'doable' someone else is. I think his comments that you've heard are probably fairly normal, especially talk between men about how attractive a woman is. I would tell a girlfriend how attractive a man was, wouldn't you? Men just say it kind of crude. The big problem for you is that you have trouble trusting that this behavior is acceptable or not given his past history. I would think that in order to win your trust again, he would be more careful of his behavior and the situations he places himself in. Good Luck, I have no concrete answers for you, but if you are having trouble trusting him still, then you need to let him know this and ask him to work with you on this.
2007-08-12 03:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married for more than 20yrs and have had oppor-
tunities from women approaching me, but I love
my wife and would not do anything to jeapardize
that so I always put the other women in their place
in a gentleman form, and no I would not and do
not flirt. Many will probably say oh he's lying as
all men flirt, but it just goes to show how every-
body thinks they know everything but in actuality
they know nothing. No flirting on my or my wife's
part.
2007-08-12 06:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've known my girl for 12 years, married 6, I have never cheated on her. That being said when I'm with my friends and I see a good looking girl I look, I comment about it, but then 5 min. later I've forgotten about her. Fact is real life is not women throwing themselves on you. Any guy knows that if he wants to get with a girl he has to work at it. If your hubby looks at women, or talks sh*t with his buddies that's one thing, If he's getting her number that's different.
2007-08-12 03:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
men, by nature are not monogamous, some have better control than others but at some point in time they will all want to cross that line just to see if the " grass is greener on the other side " !! !
2007-08-12 03:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by aunt_webby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband doesn't flirt ever that I've seen or heard of. In fact, he is very cautious that no one ever get the wrong idea from him. I can NEVER imagine him talking like that -- he says he wouldn't either.
2007-08-12 04:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most men flirt but not all. in a relationship i think as long you love someone and you still can feel his love...... everything should remains. don't go and look for unhappiness by seeking whether he flirts behind u. u u don't know... everyone will be happy and lives happily ever after...:P
2007-08-12 03:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by beastmaster 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to do some flirting on your own. No sense in staying mad and if he doesn't change, then you have to do what is best for you. good luck
2007-08-12 04:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men will talk trash with their freinds, but his situation is different. He already cheated once. Chances are if one of those fantasies presented itself, he would pursue it.
2007-08-12 03:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋